Hi everyone, (I do hope that this doesn't offend anyone, if it does, PLEASE forgive me....it was just easier for me to cut and paste (and edit) the original email)

I know I don't post very often anymore. Our homeschool schedule and trying to keep things up around the house is more than I can handle most days I wanted to ask for your prayers in a situation that we are in right now. Rather than try to type it all out again, I'm just going to cut and paste a prayer request that I sent out to some of our close friends and the pastoral staff at our old and new churches. It explains the situation, and I would love your prayers and support in this also, if you wouldn't mind

Here's what I sent out to everyone else (I did edit here slightly):

Good morning friends,

Don and I would like to ask you to join is in prayer
for something. We have only one running vehicle...it
is a 1990 Dodge Grand Caravan minivan, and it has
approx. 265,000 miles on it. Well, it is at the end
of it's life. We need to replace it, but when Don
and I got married, we committed to a debt-free life
together (and with the exception of medical bills here
and there, we have remained successful at that). God
has always been faithful to supply our needs, and
quite a few of our desires without us going into debt.
Well, we are in "almost desperate" need to replace
the van right now (meaning, it is still running, but
definitely not reliable!, and the cost to make repairs
(assuming they are able to...long story) would be more
than the van is worth), and are actually considering
borrowing money to do replace it.

Just on a
personal note, the van is causing a lot of stress for
Don as he uses it to commute back and forth ...40 miles each way... each day for work, and he is really
carrying a LOT of stress regarding the safety and
reliability of the van. It is breaking my heart as
his wife and friend to see this kind of stress on him.



Thank you all for your prayers! And if you know
anyone that is selling a used vehicle (a mini-van or
SUV would be almost a necessity because of the size of
our family) please let us know



Thank you all for the support and hugs, and prayers!

Yeah Lori! I'm so glad that you came to peace with a decision : )

Thanks Denise. We may hear as early as today, and as late as Wednesday.

Thanks for the update!

Glad that your family was able to make peace with the hard decisions you've had to make.

Sending best wishes in the direction of your loan app.!

Thank you all for you loving support! I am doing MUCH better today, and have given my stress up! Don and I are very much at peace about the whole situation right now. And my sweet 12 1/2 year old daughter told Don last night how happy she was to see that he wasn't stressed anymore. She told him she was glad to have "her Daddy friend" back (they are very very close!). It was at that point that I realized it is OK to do this! We will try to pay the car off early, but will be financing for 4 years so as not to make the payments too high for us to handle. Filled out a loan app yesterday (that about killed me! I was about to throw up with the anxiety ), and it has been submitted, now to find a car

I have to say I admire you for what you did and ALL that you do. Lori, if you need to chat let me know. BIG hugs to you.

Lori,
I wanted to chime in again and tell you that I so much support and appreciate your strong committment to your chilren and family life. I often get great support and information from your posts. I am a mostly SAHM and know how important my contribution is too.
Sending hugs.

Denise,

I also don't disagree with you. I think sometimes it is a matter of looking at the terminology. Sometimes you are making an investment, and not accumulating debt. For me, a home or reliable cars are not bad debt. Without reliable transportation, you can't get to and from work to make money. So, in a sense it is an investment or a business expense. Thinking you HAVE to have Lexus, or Mercedes that you cannot afford and trying to justify that as an investment is most likely just incurring extra debt, but having safe reliable transportation to me is not. At least it isn't "bad" debt.

I feel the same way about mortgage payments, so long as you've purchased a home that you can comfortably make payments on, and haven't over extended yourself. To me a house is an investment, I would rather pay the same amount or slightly more in a mortgage payment than in rent and be building equity. However, sometimes there are also very good reasons for renting.

Finances are such tricky things, and it is funny how differently people view them. Even so called experts disagree on a lot of points.

Dawn

PS... Nelson had this AWFUL piece of junk of a car when I was preg. It was a two door, Corolla. Only the drivers door worked. We had to keep a wooden crate behind the drivers seat because some latch in the seat was broken and the seat was in lying down mode unless the crate was propping it up. The seat belts didn't all work. And it was about 15 years OLD.

One day, it needed new tires and I said, "I am not paying $400 for a car that is worth $75 if we tried to trade it in and I'm NOT putting our baby in that car and I'm not having the father of my child killed in an accident if the brakes or something goes on that car on the freeway."

Nelson is like Don (and most people) and commutes and that vehicle was no longer safe.

I think that was a situation where it makes sense to go into debt. We had to do with out some luxuries for a while to make the car payment but reliable transportation was vital to Nelson's employment. And safe transportation was vital for my piece of mind.

quote:

Originally posted by Lori4squaremom:
when Don and I got married, we committed to a debt-free life

I think that this is generally a REALLY smart way to live and admire that.

But sometimes or somethings are worth going into debt over. Is it worth it to be in debt and pay interest so that I can have a new purse or cable TV... For our family, no.

But is VERY reasonable for my family to go into debt to buy a house or safe, reliable transportation. We’ve paid cash for 3 cars and I've had to finance two cars. I made sure that we were not penalized when/if we paid them off early… which we did.

We saved hard for the down payment on our first house... as it would have been unrealistic for us to save enough or to save fast enough to pay cash for a house.

My grandparents were committed to never going into debt... and she realized when she was elderly that going into debt can be the smart thing to do sometimes. They were offered the option of buying a home in Burlingame in 1942 on a corner lot. They didn't buy it as they couldn't see going into debt for $10,000. That home was worth about 2 million dollars when she died, and worth about 3 million now. My grandparents never owned property.

My grandmother really encouraged us to buy a house and to not miss out on that investment as she had.

Debt is not inherently evil. Charging lipstick and paying the minimum payment for 20 years and ultimately paying $193 for that lipstick isn’t a wise use of debt.

But safe, reliable transportation is a smart use of debt, IMHO.

I hope that everything went well yesterday.

quote:

Originally posted by Fergie:
Can you put your kids in school and get a job to help support your family?

I know Lori and right now she and her husband are very committed to homeschooling so that suggestion really isn't an option at that time. But that option might work for a different family.

Lori

I wholeheartely admire you for what you are doing. I think it is great you are debt-free and able to be home for your kids. I have both worked full-time and been home with the kids, and I see how valuable it is when I am home. We all make our own decisions in life, and you have to do what works for you and your family, not what society tells you is best.

I will keep you in my prayers.....good luck in finding a car that will suit your needs!

Robin

I too admire you for living a debt free life. I wish I could say the same thing! You and your family will be in my prayers. Your faith is an inspiration....God will provide.

Thank you Laurie, Dawn, Sheri and Bee, Your words of encouragement have really helped me a lot! I sat here all afternoon after reading the negative post crying! Thank you for your words of encouragment! They are very very much appreciated.

Lori,

I agree with Bee and Sheri, don't let one person's response make you feel bad or ashamed. Living debt free and actually sticking to that plan the best that you can is admirable and NOT something to be ashamed of.

You remind me of my friend Julie, who is the mother of three children ages 2 and under. (yes, there is a set of twins.) She is a stay at home mother for various reasons, but mostly because she and her husband feel it is in their children's best interest. Anyway, they were in a very similar situation to you recently, and she sent an email to her family and her husband's family asking for some support (moral support), and her SIL told her to get a job. PLEASE, as if being the mother of three children isn't enough of a job!!??!!

There is nothing wrong about asking for people to pray for you. There is power in numbers. I'm sure you have also helped many people in your life by praying for them too. Some people just believe that that's how life works. Others don't, but don't let them rain on your parade.

Keep your chin up. I have a feeling that things will work out for you.

Dawn

quote:

Originally posted by Bee:
Please don't let one judgemental response have you second guessing turning to your cyber friends for support and prayers.

We are here for you.

And a huge DITTO on that from me. We all post off-topic stuff from time to time because, let's face it, if something is causing us stress, it is going to impact our exercise or eating plan at some point in some way! So while it's technically off the topic of healthy eating, it is absolutely related to keeping ourselves and our families healthy!!

I wish you the very best in finding a vehicle that allows you & dh to remain debt-free (or at least in as little debt as possible).

I have been living debt-free (or very close to it) for about 7 years now and it makes a HUGE difference in my stress level to not have those bills hanging over me anymore.

quote:

Originally posted by Lori4squaremom:
so sorry for bothering everyone.....Kd, can you please delete this thread? I tried and because it already has posts, I can't

Thanks!

Don't you dare apologize for posting for support Lori! Lots of times we have off topic discussion here and we all know that stress directly impacts our health and food choices.

Please don't let one judgemental response have you second guessing turning to your cyber friends for support and prayers.

We are here for you.

P.S. Personally, I admire the choices and sacrifices you have made for your family.

so sorry for bothering everyone.....Kd, can you please delete this thread? I tried and because it already has posts, I can't

Thanks!

Can you put your kids in school and get a job to help support your family? The world where you made your plans and promises has changed 360 degrees. Perhaps your original goals are not working for your family any longer.

Lori,
Keeping you and your family in my prayers.