I just changed one of my goals thanks to Diana's reply. Thank you! I'm now "limiting sweets and alcohol to twice week". Last week I did make a conscious decision to enjoy some wine on Thursday with my dh and then skipped it on Saturday at our party to make up for it so that makes perfect sense to me.

I just don't know what's up with me and sweets lately. Usually I'm OK passing them up but the last three weeks have been terrible. I don't know if I set myself up to fail with this "no sweets during the week goal" or if I've just gotten so far back into the habit that I need to go through sugar withdrawal again.

I decided that if the pies start calling me too loudly today, they are going into the trash. I'll tell dh that fruit flys got into them or something so I don't get yelled at.

Part of the problem is that I've been holding pretty steady with my weight, just slightly over my usual maintenance range. My clothes feel just fine and most days I feel OK with how I look. There's a part of me that says "well, if you can eat like this and stay this weight, then why not". The rational part of my brain says "but eating sweets instead of "real" food isn't healthy and you need to stay super healthy right now".

I know the rational part is more than right and I just need to keep listening to her. I need to keep in the forefront of my brain that I don't want to end up back in the hospital and I need to do EVERYTHING in my power to make sure that doesn't happen since I don't have any answers from the doctors.

The only things that have been saving me in the weight department is that I'm running longer distances again. My minimum run got bumped up from 3 to 4 miles and I've been extremely consistent with working out 6 days/week, including 3 -4 runs/week. I've also noticed that when I do increase my sweets it's not on top of what I usually eat, it's instead of... Again, horrible nutritionally but it does help the calorie bank. In the past I would have eaten normally PLUS added the desserts on top of everything else.

I definitely have some work ahead of me to get back into my healthy eating habits.

I've been finding it very hard to stick to and accomplish the goals I've set for myself. I don't necessarily feel bad for not sticking to them, but I also don't like how I look and feel which is usually what it takes to get me started again. I also don't do well with goals starting with No or that eliminate something completely for X amount of time. That just makes me want it even more. Summer is tough for me, with picnics, vacations, etc. this is probably the hardest time of year for me to keep my goals in check. It should also be the time of year where, because we wear less clothes in the summer, I really kick into high gear and lose some weight.

I also think we need a break. From it all. We need breaks from our kids, from our significant others, from work, and yes even from our goals. It is that break that a lot of times refreshes us and gets us back on track. I used to really beat myself up but I don't do that much anymore because it IS okay to take a break from the whole exercise, healthy eating plan. Not a six month break but a few days, sure, why not.

Jill

If I'm blowing off a goal I've set, it's usually more to do with me and how *I* feel than anything else.

Sometimes, it's a rebellion thing. I do everything else right and exactly the way I'm supposed, why the heck can't I break ONE RULE--and it's a rule *I* made up! I can! And it'll feel good, because then I can break the rule and rebel...without hurting anyone else's feelings. That's usually the case when I feel cooped up and unappreciated.

Sometimes, it's because the goal isn't realistic or specific enough--"I'm going to lose 35 pounds this month!" or "I'll drink more water." In my head, I need goals like, "I'm going to drink 5 glasses of water every day" or "I will work out 3x week, eat responsibly, and weigh once a week until I lose 5 pounds."

I've also got a HUGE issue with "no." So...if it were me with your goals, Brie, the idea that I can't have sweets or alcohol during the week would make me want nothing BUT sweets and alcohol during the week. My goal would need to be phrased differently..."Dessert twice a week, alcohol three times a week." Then I feel like I've got choices and wiggle room. I can choose to save up alcohol for Friday and Saturday night, or have a glass of wine after a crappy Tuesday at work.

I realize that strict "no xxxxx" rules work for a lot of people, but I'm not one of them. There's been a lot of journal work lately with the word "should". "I should be able to follow one stupid rule!" is how I tend to think; I'm trying to replace that with, "I wish that it were easier to follow the 'no sweets' rule, but it isn't. It's hard."

(I had a big crying spell yesterday, "I should be able to manage all the stuff I need to so that I can get into graduate school but I JUST CAN'T!" Took quite a while to get from there to, "The things that need to be done to get into a master's program feel overwhelming, and it would be easier if I broke it down and worked on it one piece at a time.")