This was in my email today, and thought you might get a chuckle out of it...

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated
the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and
red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and
healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream
and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add
some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.


And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure
that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the
wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from
size 6 to size 14.



So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented
Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on he side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.



God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil
in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained
more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.



God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake,"
and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it
"Devil's Food."



God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose
those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man
would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed
and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.



Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming
with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the
starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.



God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and
still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent
double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man
replied, "Yes! An super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And
Man went into cardiac arrest.



God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.



Then Satan created HMOs.



Thought for the day .



There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than
on Alzheimer's research. This means that by
2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and
huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.



If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be five
fewer people laughing in the world.

quote:

Originally posted by schoolmom:
That struck me more as sad than funny. But it is a good reminder. Thanks for sharing.

Kathy

I do think this is pretty funny. But I can see where some people will see it as sad, since so many people choose to live a lifestyle that is so opposite of the way we should live to be healthy and in great condition. It's almost a commentary about life in general.

Judy, Yours is funny too......I have that you know!!!!!!

I do it every day, traveling from room to room.

Dawn!!! Sooo Funny!! Great way to start my day... thanks!!

I was just looking for this e-mail to post here. I thought it was very cute also!!!

quote:

Originally posted by schoolmom:
That struck me more as sad than funny. But it is a good reminder. Thanks for sharing.

Kathy

I don't get sad from this at all. Not ROTFL funny, but not sad...

What's sad about it?

That struck me more as sad than funny. But it is a good reminder. Thanks for sharing.

Kathy

That is really funny.

Here is one I can also relate too.

AAADD - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
>
>
> This is how it manifests . I decide to water my garden. As I turn on
> the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs
> washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the front
> verandah table that I brought up from the letter box earlier, just
> after the mailman had been.
>
> I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I put my car keys
> on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage bin beside the table,
> and notice that the bin is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on
> the table and take out the garbage first.
>
> But then I think, since I'm going to be near the post box when I take
> out the garbage anyway (and the mailman picks up the mail at noon) .
> I may as well pay the bills first. So, I take my cheque book off the
> table, and see that there is only 1 cheque left. My spare cheque book
> is in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I
> find the can of Coke I'd been drinking earlier this morning.
>
> I know I going to look for my cheque book, but first I need to push the
> Coke can aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is
> warm, so I decide to put it in the refrigerator to make it cold again.
> As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the
> dining room table catches my eye -- they need water.
>
> I put the Coke on the dining room table and discover my reading glasses
> that I've Been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them
> back on my desk, but first I'm going to put more water in the flowers.
> I set the glasses back down on the table, go to the kitchen sink to
> get a jug and fill it with water and suddenly spot the TV remote on the
> window sill. Some-one left it there.
>
> I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the
> remote, but I won't remember that it's on the window sill, so I decide
> to put it back in the lounge room where it belongs, but first I'll
> water the flowers. I pour some water in the jug, but spill some on the
> floor. So, I set the remote back on the kitchen bench, get some towels
> and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember
> what I was planning to do.
>
> At the end of the day:
>
> - the car isn't washed
>
> - the cheque's aren't written for the bills to be paid
>
> - there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the dining room
> table
>
> - the flowers don't have enough water,
>
> - there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,
>
> - I can't find the remote,
>
> - I can't find my glasses,
>
> - the garbage hasn't been taken out
>
> - and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
>
> Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really
> baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired now.
>
> I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for
> it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
>
> Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!
>
>GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
>GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
>LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC.
>

ROFLMBO!!! That is absolutely hysterical!!!
Jill