Stayed on plan yesterday. Grateful for that.

Here's my plan for today
B: ww toast, bit of jam, lite cran juice
S: milk tea, watermelon
L: veggie soup and bread
D: ww pasta with spinach or leftovers- depends on timing.

Friday actuals:
B: Autumn harvest, blueberries, milk, oj
S: None
L: Bean soup, blueberry muffin
S: Tomatoes, baby carrots, 1/2 ww pita and hummus
D: Salmon burger on ww bun w/a bit of mayo, sauteed grape tomatoes, onion, garlic and spinach.
Exercise: Did 45 min bike ride
Water: In good shape
Good/Better/Best: Skipped the sweet potato fries I usually have with salmon burgers, keeping myself out of the kitchen looking for a little sweet this evening
Me time: Just went through my stamp catalog for a bit and listening to my iPod.

5/5 day
26/30 week

Saturday plan:
B: Almond butter ww toast, blueberries, tea
S: I want a chai on the way to babysit
L: Tuna sandwich in ww pita w/spinach and tomato, sunchips, cucumber slices
S: Will be at a birthday party...am hoping to dodge the cake but if I don't that will be it.
D: Have to stop at the store so will look for something to throw on the grill and some veggies to roast with some sweet potato and carrots I have here.
Exercise: Going to take the baby on a walk

Peg

quote:

One of them specifically said 'live a little' as she encouraged me to indulge and I just got stuck. I can't remember what I used to say. LOL

I did remember one I've used with a lot of success through the years. I just say "not today thanks" and that seems to work well. I think it takes some of the 'that's a bad choice' off of things both for the person offering and for me mentally that I'm not swearing off whatever it is forever.

Thursday Actuals:
B: Autumn harvest, blueberries, milk, tea
S: None
L: Couldn't face day 3 in a row of that chili so I saved one more serving and froze the rest. Swapped out to have the veggie sandwich I've been planning all week. LOL WW pita w/2 servings of veggies (cuc, carrots, roasted red pepper) that I measured out, baby spinach and red pepper hummus, sunchips
S: Was starving and figured I'd better eat some protein so I had a 1/2 almond butter and jelly on ww.
D: We just had a lovely meal. We shared between the 3 of us: Arugula salad with cherries macerated in sake, 2 veggie burger sliders w/sweet potato fries, a vegetarian chili relleno, halibut with fingerling potatoes, artichoke hearts and other veggies, bread pudding and a bottle of wine. I had 1 1/2 mojitos when we went to a friend's house afterwards.
Exercise: Hanging head in shame
Water: Plenty
Good/Better/Best: Hmmmm...well, I left the last 1/4 of a slider and a few fries that they took the kitchen, measured my veggies at lunch to make sure I ate 2+ servings
Me time: Wonderful evening with old friends

4/5 day
21/25 week

Friday Plan:
B: Autumn harvest, blueberries, milk
S: Fruit
L: Veggie sandwich, a cup of bean soup
S: Popcorn
D: Need a fish serving this week. Will do a salmon burger on ww bun w/tomato, spinach salad or sauteed spinach.
Exercise: The weather looks crummy but I will check the forcast. Need at least 60 min of something today so will do some combination of a bike ride, walking around the ponds, yoga and/or walk video through the day.

Peg

Peg,
Your evening last night sounds so wonderful. I think your not being concerned is great. You enjoyed a very special evening with very special people, you enjoyed what sounds like a very nice meal and cocktails. What's not to love about a night like that? I want a night like that and am hoping for it tomorrow night.

Jill

Thanks so much for taking the time for such thoughtful replies. I agree it was easier when I was doing it all the time and I'm positive you nailed it on the head Jill in terms of these particular friends and probably just wanting to take me for the ride subconciously.

Dinner last night was such a contrast and it's going to take me a while to sort through it all. I ate WAAAAYYY more calories and I don't feel any concern about it at all. I think it is a combination of the food was SOOOOO much better in both quality ingredients and taste, the dining experiece was so nice in atmosphere and service and the occasion was much more appropriate for a special meal. We have all talked about calories that were worth it vs calories that just weren't and those 2 meals personified it. I had a simply lovely evening with 2 people I have known for 30+ years and then we ran into another guy we have known that long and his wife. We have not seen them for nearly a decade and they invited us over for mojitos and we went and had just a lovely time catching up with them.

So, onward and upward. Woke willing to eat clean, clean and WILL find some time to exercise these next 3 days before I travel for work next week and hopefully this back to back experience will help me going forward.

Peg

eta: Mostly as a reminder to myself in case I come back to read this and so I see it in black and white today: Yesterday I felt like throwing in the towel and today I feel empowered to make choices. I have to figure out what's going on there because I made that in my head...there was no reason to throw in the towel either day but something about the way I talked to myself and others about Olive Garden made me feel that way. Not productive...have to work on it.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: p7eggyc,

Peg,

I think that your friend or friends saying things like "live a little" are is pretty much harmless and not said in a way that if you say no they will think you are being judgmental or pushy. I think that most people that say things like this are really trying to just make it ok (in their own minds) for them to go ahead and have dessert, or an extra bite or whatever. I know I've said things like that. One time when I was off my eating healthy wagon, my grandmother had made her really yummy coconut Easter eggs. She offered some to me and my sister. My sister said no, because she was on WW. I told her to "lighten up and one won't hurt". When I look back and look into myself as to why I really said it, it was about me and not her. It was really my own way of justifying eating candy and not that I really felt that she should go off her points plan and eat some too. It is very hard to say no or not indulge when everyone else is. Believe me, I've been there and will be there again. But, I honestly believe that your friends will not be offended or feel judged if you say no. In fact, they may think "wow, that Peg sure is strong and sticks to her guns!!" and maybe even "I sure wish I had Peg's determination and will power!". But at the same time, if you really want and are hungry for dessert, I say order it and enjoy it! There is no reason to always turn down dessert. After all, we are teaching ourselves "everything in moderation". I think you are doing great. You came back to the forums and have been extremely accountable and your 5 point plan seems to be working well for you. And as Brie and Sandy said, as they continued on their healthy journeys, it got easier to say no or maybe even eventually have friends/family know that you are committed to your health and respect your choices.

Jill

P.S. I have family in from out of town so my computer access will be sporadic over the next few days so please forgive me if I don't respond right away. Also, I'm using my touch which I'm not great with the keyboard so please excuse my spelling errors.

One more thing I thought of about what to say when pushed...any temporary discomfort I may cause by saying no to a food fades quickly among friends. Most people aren't going to worry that I skipped dessert or just had tea or a salad. I try really hard not to judge my friends and hopefully they're not judging me either by what I sT or don't.

Hang in there Peg, this part does get easier especially when being clear and consistent.

Peg- it really depends on who I'm with. If it's family or close friends they get it if I simply say "I didn't plan for extra calories today". If someone pushed me with a live a little type comment, I tend to fib and say "I'm really stuffed and couldn't eat another bite". I've gotten much better over the years with just being firm with saying just "no thanks" too and changing the subject.

It was definately harder in the beginning for me than now. Pretty much everyone knows that I take my nutrition very seriously and unless I plan for something special I'm going to stick with my plan.

I will also add that there does seem to be more pressure when I'm with people who are struggling with their own weight. I find that there is a tendancy for people to want company when going off the wagon. I wonder if that wasn't some of the motivation behind your friend's live a little comment. That can make it even harder but I still think that my own health goals are more important.

Thursday's food was on totally on plan. I am always grateful for that!

My fat total fat calories were 14% today. I seem to be hovering in that range.

Here's my plan for tomorrow:
B: oat mix
S: raspberries and lite cran juice
L: leftovers from dinner tonight
D: taco salad- veggies, beans, baked tortilla

Jill- I posted an update on the mushroom "stroganoff" but accidentally edited my "recipe" post--- look below if you are curious as to how dinner came out.

quote:

once I stuck with my mantra

Brie,
Would you be willing to share some of the phrases you use or have used? I think that was part of what caught me off guard and has a few times lately. I want to say no thank you without offending/making them feel like I'm judging them and I just struggled with this more distant relationship. One of them specifically said 'live a little' as she encouraged me to indulge and I just got stuck. I can't remember what I used to say. LOL

Peg

Oh, Peg-
I intended no offense at all. Sorry if I offended you.

It's helpful for me to post about restaurant meal/calories as it helps me stay clear about my own goals and needs. For me, restaurant food was a major problem in my weight loss journey. Posting about what I think are the calorie counts has become part of how I stay on my track. Sorry if posting about your food was inappropriate or too intrusive.

You make a great point Peg. You went prepared and that makes a huge difference. Even if their calorie estimates are off, it's still way better knowing the estimate than going in "blind" where it can be super easy to end up eating way too many calories. Good for you for checking before hand!

I did look up the menu before I went. I chose an entree that indicated it was 400 calories if I ate the entire thing. I realize we could debate the accuracy of that but I don't know how that serves me as I don't have any other resource to use. The breadstick shows somewhere in the 150 range. I remain confident that I didn't eat 3000 calories and even if I did, I feel like I took a lot of the right steps. Short of not going, I feel like I did the best I could.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: p7eggyc,

quote:

Originally posted by p7eggyc:
I did not eat 3000 calories and I'm glad I didn't do that.

Peg

Peg,
I think it is SO easy to hit 3,000 calories.
Breadstick: 350 calories
3 bites dessert: 150 calories
2 bites ap: 100 calories
soup: 500 calories
half dinner: 1500 calories

I am just pulling this off the top of my head, but could see where you'd easily push 3000 calories with the Olive Garden dinner.

quote:

Originally posted by jillybean:


Sandy-I love mushrooms, and stoganoff-can you post the recipe here?

Jill

The stroganoff turned out really, really well. However, I am not sure that anyone who truly knows stroganoff would recognize it as stroganoff. No meat. No oil in which to brown the meat. Just 2 T of lf sour cream. It's super morphed mushroom stroganoff.

My "recipe" made 4 generous servings. We all loved it here.
I added a bit of worchestershire sauce as well a few drops of hot sauce. The fresh thyme was well worth it as were the dried mushrooms. I reduced the wine and beef stock (good beef stock) by half.
I thickened with 1 T cornstarch then added 2 T lf sour cream so that the whole dish had only very, very little fat and was light on calories.

There's still a serving left for my lunch tomorrow!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Sandy,

Thanks ladies. All good thoughts that I will consider/remember. I did lots of those same things for years and with some of my social network, those sorts of strategies have become ingrained. My bff and I don't ever go on a major restaurant bender. My work friends have been understanding about backing off the pizza palooza we had been having on Tuesdays.

I need to get out of all-or-none land today. I don't always feel uncomfortable, it doesn't always chafe. These particular friends, while I've known them for decades, our new lives with lost loved ones have brought us closer (this is my mom's best friend and her daughter and we lost their husband/dad a year almost to the day after we lost my mom) and we are just now socializing more. They both talk about wanting to lose weight and both said last night was a special treat. I think I got pulled into their vortex. I did not eat 3000 calories and I'm glad I didn't do that.

Peg

quote:

Originally posted by Sandy:
Here's my plan for Thursday:
B: hi fiber cereal and skim milk
S: watermelon and cran juice
L: veggie burger with fixings
D: trying a mushroom strog. recipe. 2/3 C white rice (I prefer white rice with strog.) and broc.

Sandy-I love mushrooms, and stoganoff-can you post the recipe here?

Jill

quote:

Originally posted by Brie:


In the beginning it was hard because people who knew me for a long while had seen me on/off diets my whole life but once I stuck with my mantra, the pressure of having dessert or sharing an appetizer disappeared (at least external pressure from friends/family ; ).

I have found this shift in my situation too. As I was more "out" with my own goals and new behaviors, people started to respect my new way of eating and I felt far less pressure to eat at Pizza Hut or Appleby's.


I need to socialize and to hang with friends. I know that going to dinner and eating what many of them eat would leave my far heavier than I am. Turns out that ordering a tea when they are all having cake is no biggie. I end up feeling very good about myself and they don't seem to think much of it. (The first time I did it, they were uncomfortable. I had to keep in mind that it was THEIR discomfort, not mine. They worked through it and the friendship is well in tact.)

I think that 5-6 years ago as I was starting to make this shift, I used the social time as an excuse to eat "my old way"--- it still gave me lots of comfort and allowed me to eat spontaneously. Looking back, I see that it was a learning experience and that I was in process, but it sure did slow my weight loss and even lead to gains some months. I was in total denial about the fact that a dinner at Appleby's often cost me 3,000 or more calories.

And...I still eat under pressure at times. And I use social situations as excuses to eat. But, I am much improved and others see my eating as "thin" far more often than not. All good signs of progress...