What do you guys do with fear? I have one kid headed to college, oven that broke down, salary that is not getting higher, no health benefits on the horizon, a host of other expenses coming down the pike....if i think too much about this, i think i will be paralyzed by worries about the future.

what do you guys do with worries?

thanks jill. what do you think you will do to begin to recapture that part of you again?

i have been trying self-talk "God did not bring me this far to abandon me", "i know God is with me", "I am so blessed and so fortunate"

it has helped but i do have to make an effort to do this over and over again.

I don't like to live from fear. i don't want to make decisions out of fear. who does?

on a spiritual level, i have to believe that whatever happens, whatever is brought into my path, is for my growth, is to further who i am, tough as it is. it helps me to surrender to it instead of resisting it.

Iz-I think this thread was the beginning of some great activity and posting here! Seems like since this post there has been a lot going on!!!!

I try to figure out why I'm afraid. And try to deal with it in a constructive manner...

oh, gosh---thanks jill!

for 4 years, i worked as a lawyer and it was not for me. it was about fighting, and putting down people, and being ugly. it was empty work and it left me empty inside. i started overeating, and being depressed.

i made a vow--i must be true to myself when it comes to work. i wont repeat that dark time of my life.

quote:

Originally posted by iz:
thank you sandy. i had a photo of my client with his kids, roasting marshmellows, sitting on my desk. as i made the argument in court via telephone, i looked at the photo. for me, this is work of the heart. it's th e only reason i do it. thanks sandy again.

Iz if only I could have had you for my attorney during my divorce/custody! You really do put your heart in soul into your clients, they don't know how lucky they are!

Jill

thank you sandy. i had a photo of my client with his kids, roasting marshmellows, sitting on my desk. as i made the argument in court via telephone, i looked at the photo. for me, this is work of the heart. it's th e only reason i do it. thanks sandy again.

Big hugs, Iz. You must be pretty awesome to have earned the judge's respect!

thanks guys. i just lost in a court hearing today. something else i had been losing sleep over....
but i felt good in the sense that i fought hard. the judge agreed with me that my client had been mistreated, and there were lots of missteps along the way by the government in how they handled him. i lost the argument but i got empathy and respect from the judge. it was what it was.
i appreciate all your support . just hearing from you guys is a huge boost to my spirit. getting back to gratitude is a blessing. but gosh darn it--it sure is a hard road to walk sometimes.

I panic. I eat. I journal. I breathe in, breathe out. None of it helps a whole lot, but at least breathing keeps me alive.

Sorry I can't be more helpful -- I'm trying to deal with the same stuff and not getting anywhere. I do know some people swear by strenuous exercise because of all those endorphins...

quote:

take a deep breath first. Then I pray. And journal.

Ditto from me too and big hugs too!

I think fear/anxiety/worry is hardest to cope with for those of us who have control issues. Trying to control things beyond our control is a losing battle from the get-go, but that isn't always easy for our brains to grasp.

My anxiety goes up as my control goes down. In other words, the more things are out of my control (usually because they are not things that I CAN control), the more anxious I get. I deal with fear/anxiety/worry in a variety of ways:

1) Prayer. Asking for God's wisdom and oversight, not asking for "stuff."

2) Gratitude. IMHO, being grateful for what you have is the first step to getting what you want.

3) Affirmation. Make a list of what you need or want to come to you and then create affirmations from the list and repeat them daily. I do mine at bedtime.

4) Medication. When my quality of life is being impacted by fear/anxiety/worry, I take the lowest dose of a mild anti-anxiety med called BusPar. I didn't want to ask my doctor for help for a LONG time but, once I did, I was SO happy I did. BusPar got me through the most difficult time in my career. I know many people abhor medication and especially this kind because there is a societal bugaboo around any kind of behavioral meds, but sometimes it is called for.

thanks guys. i really needed the boost of support!!!!

Iz-your post could not have been timed any better. I can relate 100% to what you are going through-the kid going to college, the health benefits, a salary that is stuck and not going anywhere, increasing expenses, and a few other things.

Here is what I do-I'll duplicated the deep breathing/praying. I also meditate and do yoga. Meditation-although I really struggle some days to focus on that and not all the worries-helps me more than anything else. I also drink Yogi teas-they have Calm, Kava Stress Release, and a few others that really do help calm my nerves. Also-and only if you really are feeling like you can't handle much more, and ONLY if you are staying home or don't have to drive (at least until you know how you'll feel) I use L-Tryptophan. You can get it at any health food store and it just takes the edge off my nerves. I won't take any prescriptions for anxiety/stress/fear.

Sending you hugs,
Jill

I hear you. Things keep piling up. Coaster girl is right deep breath and pray. Journaling is a great help for me when I do it. Keep moving and don't stress eat. honestly I am tired of trying to figure out how we are going to afford clothes for the kids or us for that matter. Then there is the glasses and the dentist. The Doctor bills. Our washing machine broke down last month. But I remember where I have been and what God has brought us through. He has kept us safe. We have always had a place to live. We never went homeless. (We got within spitting distance to it.) I take another breath and see if there is something I can do. There is a website called hillbilly housewife. You might find some ideas or resources for saving money there.

I take a deep breath first. Then I pray. And journal. Then I remind myself that I cannot control anything that is going on as far as the timing, but I can figure out how to deal with the things that I can. If it's out of my control to deal with, then I just have to wait and see how things play out.

I try to take each thing one step at a time and when I get really overwhelmed, I find a physical outlet, like going out and running as hard as I can, kickboxing or something that lets me "beat out" my frustrations and stresses.

We can't escape our worries, but we can control how we deal with them. I have to remind myself that worrying only hurts me in the end.

Hang in there, Iz.