Explanatory Notes for New Folks: 1. The Group Journal was created to give everyone a place to post things that perhaps they didn't want to start a new thread about, but just wanted to get off their chest. It can be used by anyone for any reason--celebrate your successes, vent your frustrations, ask questions, ask for support, whatever you need to do...that's what the journal is for!
2. Because the original Group Journal got very large and unwieldy to read, we decided that we'd cut off each Journal as it reached 70 posts and then create a new one. This Journal is called "Group Journal #33" because it is the 33rd such post since the Journal was created.
3. When the Journal was created, we agreed that things posted here didn't necessarily require a response. Sometimes you just want to report or vent but don't really expect a reply. Other times, you may want feedback. Feedback is fine here, just not required/expected.
4. To make each Journal different from the next, I began creating theme journals, just as if our "virtual" online journal here was an actual paper journal we were writing our thoughts in. So, while I post the Journal threads, I often write them as if I was the Journal character. It's silly but folks seem to enjoy it.
Hey all! I'm Frosty, your first journal of the New Year, 2008. My cover features glittery white and silver snowflakes on an ice blue background--if you move me back and forth, you will see the snowflakes falling! Inside, my pages are white with sapphire blue lines. The lower corner of each page is decorated with a snowflake (and of course no two are the same!).
I'll be on this sleek aluminum table with a carrot, 2 lumps of coal, a corncob pipe, a scarf and a hat. What's that all about, you ask? Why it's the makings of a snowman, of course! You build it, I provide the fixins!
The silly rubber pen is a snowman and, as usual, a slim silver ballpoint is provided for those who can't see themselves writing with a pile of snow!
Enjoy your Journal!
Posts: 7289 | Location: Rehoboth Beach, DE | Registered: March 12, 2004
Thanks to everyone for responding. Today was better.
I was slightly lighter this am. I had a healthy breakfast. I had a reasonably heathy lunch. I drank water several times. I had real food for dinner. My late snack wasn't super healthy but it did include healthy items. AND I can see the color of my desk now. This means I might be able to go on vacation as planned next week with a clear conscience.
****************** “The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.”
After working my butt off for two weeks straight I'm finally getting a handle on this ****. I feel more me again, I've met friends and watched tv and even managed to read a bit. Things are looking up, albeit slowly. Now for the hard part: how to turn my weight gain around and get back to losing weight. SIGH.
I think that often we learn the most about what works by experienceing what does not work. You seem to be learning a lot and recovering yourself BEAUTIFULLY.
Maybe posting some specifics about what you want to do or need to do around the 5#'s would help?
Good for you for posting and looking for a way back to a calmer, happier place.
think instead --how will i begin to reclaim my life with balance and joy and meaning. put it into a larger more positive context.
AMEN to that Iz and big, big, big hugs Puck. You WILL turn this around and don't be afraid to speak up for extra support at work if the workload balloons again.
Out of our beliefs are born deeds; out of our deeds we form habits; out of our habits grows our character; and on our character we build our destiny.
you can do it. i have been dealing with my own brand of stress with finalizing the divorce and my eating is out of whack but oh well. i have to allow myself room to be human. everything cycles and i know it will all come full circle again in time. hang tight girlfriend.
Goals: 1. Stop thinking like a chronic dieter and start living to inspire. 2. HALT (hungry, anxious, lonely, tired) I will stop and tune in with myself should I experience these things, and respond with something healthy. 3. One word 2008: courage 4. Eat slow and mindfully.
don't think about --what will i do to get rid of the weight gain. think instead --how will i begin to reclaim my life with balance and joy and meaning. put it into a larger more positive context.
Iz -- you ROCK! I'm so glad you said that. It rings true. There's been way too little balance and joy lately. You know something is wrong when you suddenly prefer scrubbing the bathroom to working on the puter...
****************** “The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.”
oh, i feel for you so much. stress is so insidious--it is amazing how our bodies react. after katrina, and having 13 of dh's family move in, i thought i had it all together but i did not. i had such fatigue, more than any i had ever before, i was honestly afraid i had cancer or some serious disease. it turned out the doctor and all my friends told me "isabel, you have been under a great deal of stress."
it will pass, friend. don't think about --what will i do to get rid of the weight gain. think instead --how will i begin to reclaim my life with balance and joy and meaning. put it into a larger more positive context.
Goals: 1. Stop thinking like a chronic dieter and start living to inspire. 2. HALT (hungry, anxious, lonely, tired) I will stop and tune in with myself should I experience these things, and respond with something healthy. 3. One word 2008: courage 4. Eat slow and mindfully.
Work stress and sloppy eating add up to a 5-pound gain since January. I've been so tired, frustrated, unhappy and stressed out that I was getting all kinds of weird symptoms. I told someone, "I'd jump out of the window only there's not enough snow to break my fall." You get the idea. Home life is good, work as such is good, but the workload isn't.
After working my butt off for two weeks straight I'm finally getting a handle on this ****. I feel more me again, I've met friends and watched tv and even managed to read a bit. Things are looking up, albeit slowly. Now for the hard part: how to turn my weight gain around and get back to losing weight. SIGH.
****************** “The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.”
good friend of mine decided at age 37 to move out of her home state. never married, had not dated anybody. she had always been the responsible one in her family. if anyone needed advice, money, a ride to the hospital...she was the one. her mom had health problems but for some reason, when she was 37, she got an epiphany that it was time to move. she lived in a cold snowy state. brrrr. she always dreamed of living in new mexico (never visited, just dreamed) so--the plan went into motion. she had to pass the licensing exam in new mexico for her profession, which meant studying and taking prep classes, etc. she could not move for a while. she was 39 before the actual move took place. moved to santa fe. knew no one. loved her new job. someone introduced her to her future husband. took another year to figure out they wanted to get married. married at 40. had her first child at age 41. still oves her job, husband and son to pieces. if she had listened to all of her friends who married in their 20s and 30s, she would have felt hopeless of ever finding her mate. she just followed her own internal compass and went for it.
Goals: 1. Stop thinking like a chronic dieter and start living to inspire. 2. HALT (hungry, anxious, lonely, tired) I will stop and tune in with myself should I experience these things, and respond with something healthy. 3. One word 2008: courage 4. Eat slow and mindfully.
I totally agree that there are so many weird people out there. I was single for years and then gave up and decided to work on enjoying my time with myself. So I did all kinds of stuff alone and figured if that's how it's gonna be then I better get used to it and like it. Then once I went to a concert/music club alone and met the guy I eventually married. That was 18 years ago (and we're still together). I don't think that would have happened if I had been with my girlfriends. He would have talked to them or we wouldn't have talked at all because I would have been with a group.
It can happen but it sure ain't easy.
****************** “The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.”
Originally posted by cate: I just got a wink from someone, his photos look like he is a model, he is a widower with a child who lives elsewhere. He speaks a lot of languages. His profile sounded like a non-native, which is ok (some of the English didn't hang together).
Yep, that sounds like one of them. It's funny too, but one guy I talked to briefly said the guys get winked at by Russian & Polish girls who want to "get married and move to the US". Of course if the guy were to send them traveling money they will never arrive .
"Live your life so that you are not afraid to sell the family parrot to the town gossip."
Posts: 4038 | Location: NE Atlanta (Chamblee, Doraville, Norcross, Duluth) | Registered: March 15, 2004
Hi Cate, Just wanted to add my two cents. Sometimes when you stop looking, it happens. It happened for me. I was single for two years and then one day there he was. I have to say though, after two years I liked my alone time and being with someone day in, day out got to me. But, we are together almost one year now! The other thing I want to mention is that perhaps the kind of man you think you should be with may not be the kind of man you end up with. I always dated tall, skinny, kinda nerdy looking guys. That is what I thought I wanted and was attracted to. My boyfriend now is 6'1", built like a wrestler(meaning very big and lots of muscle), totally not a "techy-nerdy" guy. He has multiple tattoos and works a hard, physical labor job. This is the EXACT opposite of my "typical" guy but he is awesome. He makes me laugh, we can talk about anything, and we even though we have a lot of differences, he makes me happy.
One thing I will recommend, and I saw this in an email yet it rings true-make sure that whoever you end up with has great conversation skills and you can talk to each other about anything. Because when the "honeymoon" phase is ending, you will need that conversation to keep things exciting and interesting. And, I'm sure you know this, but make sure, from the beginning, that he is treating you and your friends and family well. I was with someone for 10 years who was horrible to not only me, but my dd, my parents, my friends, family, etc. Why did it take 10 yrs to let go? I don't know, but what an eye-opener once the relationship finally ended!!
Hang in there Cate! Don't give up on finding him. There is someone out there for you and you will find happiness. Take it from someone who was miserable for years!
Jill
Summer Challenge Goals: 1) Walk 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week 2) Plan weekly menus
SO funny. My boyfriend's brother (single) was just lamenting how he never meets nice girls...on the way out the door to an arena football game with my boyfriend, a married friend, and two single guys. Yeah. Because TONS of single women randomly show up at arena football games...
I still think the best way to meet someone is to network. I've set up several people...because I know a lot of single guys, and a friend of mine knows a lot of single girls. We have a barbecue. They get dates.
So I think, at any age, if you don't know a lot of single people of the suitable gender, you have to find someone who does...and TELL them you'd like to be set up. And mean it. One guy I won't set up any more. I did, twice, and he flaked out both times. But one guy...he's SO nice...every single woman I meet who goes into the "no nice guys!" speech I immediately give his number to. Two women he went on single dates with, he then set up with friends of his, and one of them is married now.
Convoluted! But I think in a lot of ways, it's like finding a job or buying a house. When you really start getting particular, the pool of potential gets smaller, but of higher quality. But unless you go on a dozen interviews and look at 20 houses, you won't know exactly what it is you're looking for.
It's so much easier to say than to do.
Challenge Goals: *10 minutes of unplanned exercise five times a week *Gym time twice a week *Socialize at least once every two weeks.
Well, I do know that its a case of finding them. Its just that the good ones are good at hiding.
Ask the nice ones at work where they hang out, you can PM me. I have tried to get out there and meet people, but there are a lot of places where it seems to be me and other single girls. If I had some idea or guideline as to where to go hang out, or what to look for...
I take art classes, I do community theater (where the guys really ARE married or gay). I volunteer...
I tried match.com, and have basically given up. I just got a wink from someone, his photos look like he is a model, he is a widower with a child who lives elsewhere. He speaks a lot of languages. His profile sounded like a non-native, which is ok (some of the English didn't hang together).
I hate how I analyze these things so relentlessly. But any time I 'go with the flow' I go to cloudcuckooland... sheesh.
Since I work with a lot of single men (ranging in age from 25 to 62), I'll say this...they think all the "good women" are taken or psycho.
I think both sides are wrong There are tons of good single people "out there," but too many of them are stuck in social circles that never change or are full of people just like them--ie, lots of single guys hang out with other single guys, and do guy things, where they meet other single guys.
Challenge Goals: *10 minutes of unplanned exercise five times a week *Gym time twice a week *Socialize at least once every two weeks.
Originally posted by cate: [...] It just amazes me how many weird men there are out there.
I hear you cate, and totally agree. I had no matches at eHarmony. Match dot com is not much better but at least there you can communicate (or not) directly instead of eHarmony's stupid question & wait or answer and wait and wait and wait & never know if they have even read what you sent.
On Match I can tell if my e-mail has been read or not (mostly not). About the only winks or e-mails I receive there are from wierdos who say they are in their 40's (so why are they winking at a 60 year old?), claim to be widowed (their wife was always killed in a car wreck) with a young son. They claim they live somewhere in the US but never anywhere near Georgia, much less the Atlanta area but then you find out that they are "currently working in South Africa". I am sure their pictures and their profiles are fake. Recently the same person has winked at me 4 TIMES under 4 different names and with 3 different photos but the exact same profile text & when you look at his profile all three of his pictures are there together. Weird, very weird.
I agree that all the good ones are either gay or taken.
I would give up but it took me 32 years to find my husband and it has only been 27 years this month since he died so I figure I have another 5 years to go before I find the next one
"Live your life so that you are not afraid to sell the family parrot to the town gossip."
Posts: 4038 | Location: NE Atlanta (Chamblee, Doraville, Norcross, Duluth) | Registered: March 15, 2004
Basically, I've decided its ok to be super picky. If I get married, ever, fine, if not, also fine, I'm really ok. It just amazes me how many weird men there are out there.
cate,forgive me for responding. people in my culture are natual matchmakers. it goes back centuries. don't blame me. blame my genes.
one of my best friends did not get married until almost age 40. my other best girlfriend got married in her mid-50s. my cousin is 50 and just got married. i guess it happens when it happens. there is a time for everything. my cousin did a visual of the mate she was looking for. she did a collage, and really put her energy into thinking about this person. lots of specifics. it was a great process for her. then don't cha know it, they ran into each other at an intersection. she was clueless. his interest was peaked. and then in the same week, they both entered themselves into eHarmony. she was super picky because she had had her share of bad relationships (never married before b ut lived with someone for a few years) so her criteria was almost impossible to match. but the two of them matched, and found out they lived in the same city. they got married in october. go figure...
hang in there sister. be happy.
Goals: 1. Stop thinking like a chronic dieter and start living to inspire. 2. HALT (hungry, anxious, lonely, tired) I will stop and tune in with myself should I experience these things, and respond with something healthy. 3. One word 2008: courage 4. Eat slow and mindfully.
Well, I figure I'll update you guys. I lost my password, and am sick with a sinus infection. I also have decided that I'm never dating ever ever again. God will have to drop a nice man into my lap, and he has to have testimonials.
I had coffee almost two weeks ago with a very strange guy from church. Lets just say "fantasy world" and leave it at that, shall we? Fortunately, I haven't had problems with him yet, he wasn't so disassociated with reality that he didn't get the message that I am not interested. (does that say what I wanted it to?).
But it is true. All the men my age are: married, gay, or complete psycho lunatics. Whee.
.
There are tons of good single people "out there," but too many of them are stuck in social circles that never change or are full of people just like them--ie, lots of single guys hang out with other single guys, and do guy things, where they meet other single guys.
