Before I knew I'd be unemployed over the holidays, we invited several people over for Thanksgiving. My parents, possibly my (step) grandmother and her best friend, 3 other couples about our age, and half of one of the couples asked if her sister & dad & dad's date would be welcome, too.

Not a problem, honestly, we have room on the deck for everyone.

But. . ick. Now we've one less paycheck coming in. I've been prepping & freezing what I can, but still, feeding that many people that large a meal is pricey. My parents want to pay for the turkeys, which is wonderful.

So, my question is. . .do you think anyone would react badly if I asked them to bring a side dish? So far, I have several planned: roasted sweet potatoes, cornbread dressing, green beans & potatoes (that's right, with fatback!), asparagus w/ hollandaise, honey-marinated pears, and a hearts of palm salad. I know it sounds like a lot, but there are some *big* eaters coming, and I'd rather have too much and be able to send people home with things than too little.

Right, okay, I'll stop rambling now.

Thanks.

D

Sorry I'm late to the party but thought I'd add my 2 cents. I completely agree with the others that there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking folks to bring a side dish (or, accepting such offers if they are made).

In fact, most of the past several years, I have been invited to spend Thanksgiving at the family of a good friend of mine. To this family, sweet potatoes were not really part of the traditional Thanksgiving when they were young. However, the hostess knows that sweet potatoes were (and still are) a part of MY traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Therefore, she asks me to make them and bring them.

The rest of the family has their traditional things they bring too (my friend and her boyfriend always bring the pies, for example). The hostess (my friend's sister) still ends up cooking most of the actual meal but at least gets a break on some of the "extras."

D, Every Thanksgiving for the past several year, my brother in law (he is single and owns his own beautiful and very big home) has everyone over his house. Mostly because he has so much room and also because he loves to have a full house! So that means his parents, cousins and their families, brothers and their families, a couple of aunts and uncles and my parents and my sister in law (his other brother's wife) parents. Each one of us makes something. He will say " hey... you make the best--- I have ever had, do you think you can make it for Thanksgiving?" We always have way more than anyone can eat. He also has a scavanger hunt and puts everyone in teams, that is so much fun and we always end the day with a game of pictionary. We have all ages from 85 down to 2. We all play and laugh and laugh!! I think it is very appropriate to ask everyone to bring something. Enjoy!!!!

I am never offended when I am asked to bring something!

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Originally posted by D in St Pete:
Before I knew I'd be unemployed over the holidays, we invited several people over for Thanksgiving. My parents, possibly my (step) grandmother and her best friend, 3 other couples about our age, and half of one of the couples asked if her sister & dad & dad's date would be welcome, too.

Not a problem, honestly, we have room on the deck for everyone.

But. . ick. Now we've one less paycheck coming in. I've been prepping & freezing what I can, but still, feeding that many people that large a meal is pricey. My parents want to pay for the turkeys, which is wonderful.

So, my question is. . .do you think anyone would react badly if I asked them to bring a side dish? So far, I have several planned: roasted sweet potatoes, cornbread dressing, green beans & potatoes (that's right, with fatback!), asparagus w/ hollandaise, honey-marinated pears, and a hearts of palm salad. I know it sounds like a lot, but there are some *big* eaters coming, and I'd rather have too much and be able to send people home with things than too little.

Right, okay, I'll stop rambling now.

Thanks.

D

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D,

I think it is totally appropriate for you to ask everyone that is coming to bring a side dish, BUT I wouldn't expect them to be a)exactly what you are planning on your menu, and b)low cal/low fat.

We are having Thanksgiving here and inviting several family members and friends, and while I won't ask most of them to bring something, if they offer (which most of them will offer) I will accept. Less that I have to make and less that I have to buy

Thanks

I wasn't sure how others would feel about it. . .the list I gave was stuff I'm making (I have most everything except the perishable stuff already), and the boyfriend & I sat down this AM and came up with some things we'd like to have but don't have space/time/money to make ourselves, so when people ask what they can bring, I'll have a list of sorts. . .a corn dish, a bean dish, some rolls, that sort of general thing.

I'm kinda feeling awkward about not working right now, so I've been second-guessing most everything.

On the up side, there's plenty of time for me to putter around the house and get things straightened up and some of the fixxer-up projects done

Thanks again for the help.

D

D,

I don't think there would be anything wrong with asking for help, particularly from family members. It has been my experience that most people that are invited to such as gathering will ask "What can I bring?" instead of answering "nothing", ask them for something like "Thank for offering, in fact, it would be really great if you could bring _______." I think most people are happy to oblige and I think most people are more comfortable if you say something a bit more specific than "sure, bring a side dish."

Dawn

This is a very expensive meal, even for just a family of four. So I would see NOTHING wrong with asking people to bring certain dishes. But again, as GS said, you do give up some of the control. So ask them to bring things and then your part is to make sure that there are things that you can eat there for you. OR decide that you will "sample" what they bring, eat a big breakfast, drink lots of water before your meal, and eat less before Thursday and put in some additional movement time.

I have a friend who is vegan, very strictly vegan. But he says that when he goes to his grandmother's who is a meat and potatoes person, he "gives up his vegan" because it's for grandma and who knows....which is more important? And then remember the reason for the holiday isn't to stuff ourselves, but to enjoy the family time. These two ideas keep me going through family holidays. I push things around my plate alot....and take a little of everything, eating some, pushing some around, and sitting back to enjoy the friendship.

Good luck!
Cathy

I don't see a problem asking people to bring side dishes either.

The only potential "problem" is that you give up some control. Your guests will most likely make THEIR families favorites. You may ask someone to bring green beans and they may bring frozen green beans mixed with a can of mushroom soup and the fried onion things on top because that's what THEY had as kids at THEIR Thanksgivings.

It is a trade off - you save time and $$$ but sacrafice some control. I don't think that it would be polite to give people specific instructions to make the green beans your way... unless they ask.

Depends how much you like things your way...

Honestly I don't see a problem asking people to bring side dishes. I'm sure people would be fine with it!