My father was diagnosed with Conjestive Heart Failure, beginning of this year as well as a few other things. Well He was admitted into the hospital last week because of the fluid build up in his lungs and legs. They were able to get rid of most of the fluid in his lungs but not his legs. He's home now and feeling better.
The worst part is that the Doctors told him to start preparing for the end..They told him he's lucky if he has five to six months to live.
Boy oh Boy..that's really had to swollow for me..He's has excepted it..But I find it really hard to deal with. I was sending out Christmas cards the other day and started to cry thinking that this maybe his last Christmas.. Thank God my father has a Great outlook..He wants to go to the casino for a day and enjoy everyday that he has.
My Parents live so far away, that is impossible for me to see them..My father also told me he doesn't want me to see him this way and to remember him the way I want to..and also remember all the good times we've had together.
I call him every other day, to keep his spirits up and he charishes that.
Who knows, maybe the doctors are wrong and he'll be around a little bit longer.
I've made sure that I am not going to get into a depression and starting eating...I am watching what I eat and drink. And I am keeping myself busy to so that I don't get upset about it.
Thanks for letting me vent..It really helps.
Heather
Heather Goodbye excuses!! Lets achieve those weight-loss goals!!
1. Exercise2-3 times a week
Posts: 871 | Location: Atlanta | Registered: April 13, 2004
quote:Originally posted by Preciousmew: Well...His blood pressure is getting lower and lower each week..and he's also in Kidney Failure. The doctors don't know what to treat, it's a 50/50 chance..
Thank god for his positive attitude..That's what's giving him, his strength.
I don't mean to keep posting about his progress, but really does help me mentally. Thanks for listening.. Heather
Heather, I'm so sorry to hear that your day is continuing to struggle. I hope that he isn't in any pain.
As Cathy said, please post updates! We are here to support each other.
Out of our beliefs are born deeds; out of our deeds we form habits; out of our habits grows our character; and on our character we build our destiny.
Heather, in my opinion, you post as much as you want about this. It's part of life, it's part of YOUR life. We all care about you here. You seem to be holding things together quite well. And I do know how hard that is. Don't worry about the posts, just keep us informed of your father and of you....cause you are both very important to us.
Cathy J
It's never too late to get it right.
Posts: 3468 | Location: Central USA | Registered: March 11, 2004
Well...His blood pressure is getting lower and lower each week..and he's also in Kidney Failure. The doctors don't know what to treat, it's a 50/50 chance..
Thank god for his positive attitude..That's what's giving him, his strength.
I don't mean to keep posting about his progress, but really does help me mentally. Thanks for listening.. Heather
Heather Goodbye excuses!! Lets achieve those weight-loss goals!!
1. Exercise2-3 times a week
Posts: 871 | Location: Atlanta | Registered: April 13, 2004
I feel for you Cathy..I am in the same boat financially
Thanks again for all the support..
I live in GA..My family lives in Toronto, Canada. and my finances make it impossible right now to visit him...But my father knows that I love him dearly and that's why I call him every other day to make sure he's doing fine.
He had told me serveral times that it is a waste to come up and visit..because all I would do is sit..My friend and I run and company and my father also knows that it would be very difficult to leave. He also doesn't want me to see him this way.. and I really don't want to either. That's not the way I want to remember my dad.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: Preciousmew,
Heather Goodbye excuses!! Lets achieve those weight-loss goals!!
1. Exercise2-3 times a week
Posts: 871 | Location: Atlanta | Registered: April 13, 2004
Mary Jo and others: I read your post with tears in my eyes, because I KNOW I should make a trip home to see my mother. BUT, what if you can't do that....not because I don't want to but because finances make it impossible. AND I mean impossilbe. We had $6 for the last two weeks since pay day....and the next two won't be much better. I feel guilty, I feel spent, I feel done in by something I have no control over. I am calling daily, talk to mom, but it's not the same. So....I have figured, if nothing changes and she does die before I get there, we will have said our goodbyes, given our hugs and kisses before her illness....sometimes going home can't be done, and we have to accept that in ourselves and our other family members.
Cathy J
It's never too late to get it right.
Posts: 3468 | Location: Central USA | Registered: March 11, 2004
Where does your father live? Is it impossible for you to go and visit him briefly? About 8 years ago, my dad went into the hospital and put on life support after having experienced bypass surgery, an aortic annurism a couple of strokes and a few heart attacks. We lived pretty far away. You and your dad and family are certainly in my prayers. I can understand how you are feeling. I will say, however, that you absolutely should find a way to visit him. I know that seeing someone you love in that condition is very hard, but I think you would later regret missing out on a hug or a kiss before you might have to say goodbye. My dad was a dockworker in the fish market forever. He was a big burley man, very macho and never humble. He surely would not have wanted any sympathy or anyone to see him in such a weakened condition, but I also know that he really felt good when I walked in. I know that my hug and kiss were a huge comfort to him and me. My dad is still hanging on, but I would never let him pass away without a kiss from me. No matter where or how far, I would find a way.
Posts: 1376 | Location: West Florida | Registered: March 12, 2004
I'm sending hugs and prayers. My grandfather had congestive heart failure..he lived 3 years since diagnosis...however his quality of life was greatly dimished.
I live kind of far from them..The last year was the worst. I was almost afraid to see him (I know that's sad to say) but it just hurt so much to see him in pain and it scared me. He also had some of the same feelings of not wanting people to see him.
I decided that year to go up for Christmas, no matter how he was. I was really glad that I did. He passed away a couple of months later. We had a good time and he was in good spirits for the most part.
Your dad may have six months or longer....If it were me, I would go see him. Maybe you could take him to the casino.
*hugs*
Serene
Summer Se7en Challenge Goals
1. Binge control: no more than 2 times per week 2. Think positive and give credit for all the little successes 3. Go swimming
Heather, this is a tough time.. I am so sorry. I am sending prayers for your strength and safe feelings. I am sending prayers for your dad. May God and the angels hold you both very tight through these days. I believe in angels and their ability to keep us safe. Know that one is just sitting on your shoulder, there when you need her/him.
It's never too late to get it right.
Posts: 3468 | Location: Central USA | Registered: March 11, 2004
I don't know if it's an option for you, Heather, but some airlines will deeply discount tickets for visiting sick family members--most require a doctor's note, but it's worth checking into if you think that might get you there.
You & Cathy are in my thoughts.
D
Challenge Goals: *10 minutes of unplanned exercise five times a week *Gym time twice a week *Socialize at least once every two weeks.
Heather I'm so sorry that the news isn't better. Hopefully your dad's doctor will be able to get his symptoms managed so he at least doesn't have to deal with the pain.
Out of our beliefs are born deeds; out of our deeds we form habits; out of our habits grows our character; and on our character we build our destiny.
Well my father went back to his doctor yesterday..His bloodpressure is extremly low 80 over 60 and his legs are really hurting (burning feeling and really hurts to touch). He still has jauntiness ...and he losing quite a bit of weight.
It really doesn't look good....Being so far away I can't imagine it's happening. The best thing I can do is keep him happy and remember the good times.
Heather Goodbye excuses!! Lets achieve those weight-loss goals!!
1. Exercise2-3 times a week
Posts: 871 | Location: Atlanta | Registered: April 13, 2004
Heather, I am sorry that you are going having to go through this. I have been through heart problems with both of my parents and cancer with my mother so I relate to what you are going through. Sending a BIG HUG and prayers your way. Keep taking care of yourself the best way you can. Short walks to give yourself some fresh air helped me when I went through this difficult time. I also kept fruits and veggies on hand that were already cleaned and ready to use. I usually went to the salad bar at the grocery store. I didn't have to think so hard about keeping good for me stuff on hand. My thoughts are with you. Beth
Posts: 193 | Location: Michigan | Registered: March 13, 2004
It IS a hard time of the year to hear, but as others have said, it would never be good.
Loosing a parent isn't easy. I would think seeing one ill would be almost worse. (My own dad dropped one day at my sister's volleyball game almost 3 years ago from an aneurism.)
Take whatever time you have to communicate with them (and your kids, too) and make it the best time for all of you.
