I know that people say that having an exercise buddy is a good idea, because you will encourage each other. I agree. Yet, I swim, and I love that time by myself. I love just making my own pace, being in the pool alone, mostly, and the quiet time I get.

A friend, wants to come with me now. I don't know if that's going to go over with the motel, since my being able to swim is a bennie. So what do I do, she needs to be in the pool as much as I do, she has many health problems that would be helped by swimming. Yet, I don't want to give up my quiet time...selfish ... Maybe...I do want to help her. Golly darn, I don't know what to tell her. Any ideas?????

Might having the friend come help you get there? I know it has been a struggle for you. Sometimes extra accountabilty is helpful.

Nothing is written in stone-- you could try it and see. Tell her from the beginning that what your concerns are and give it a try. See how it fits for you. She can do the same. Who knows what the outcome will be.

P.S. Congrats on the weight loss.

I agree with Iz. Don't do anything that puts in jeopardy YOUR workout whether it be because to hotel may get upset or you start not wanting to go.

I think Iz has some beautiful wording on how to protect this time for yourself.

What about inviting her 1 or 2 days per week and going by yourself other days? This may actually be motivation for you to get to the pool because you will want to enjoy that time alone.

i think honesty is best. otherwise, she will come along, and you will start to dread the pool time, resent her, ....all in all, not a good outcome of either of you.

also, that your swim time has become this wonderful outlet for you is rare. truly rare. most people would love to be able to say they have found something that provides them with solace and peace of mind while honoring their body. that is more valuable than a retirement account! don't lose that.

maybe say something like this:

" for me, swimming is actually my prayer, meditation and reflective quiet private time. perhaps we could find another physical activity to do together, like a power walk once a week or something. how does that sound?"

or plan b:

"The motel gives me a special benefit by allowing me to use the pool, and i would be jeopardizing my access if i invite a guest. it is a privilege i really value and i don't want to appear as if i am taking advantage of their kindness.your friendship and your health means a lot to me --is there some other way i can support you in your health goals?"