The last weekend of the month. What are you doing with it? How did you fair with your March goals and healthy lifestyle progress? Are you ready for April?

Just doing a double check, since we are entering into the second quarter of 2006. In January, I am sure most of us set some kind of goals or ideas of where we wanted to be by that time 2007...how are you doing? What do you need to change, upgrade, reconsider? The second quarter , that is April, May and June...what do you see changing in your life? Moving, kids out of school, graduation, new job, leaving a job? How will this affect your healthy living goals?

This weekend's homework is to consider those ideals that you set, and change them if you need to, re evaluate where you are, and if it 's the road you want to be on....for "credit" share it with us...and any changes you make. There is nothing like saying it outloud or on the internet to get yourself accountable.

Happy weekend, and don't forget to give yourself a break.

Cathy J

MaryJo,
Sending my best support too.

Thanks Jen, You are a good friend!!

quote:

Originally posted by MaryJo:
I am taking vitamines every day now. Drinking more water. Eat more fruit. I am also going to set aside half an hour each morning as I have my coffee for a little meditation and prayer.
I find it helpful when I can just turn over all of my "stuff" and hand it to God. Let Him handle it. I have gotten away lately from quiet time with Him and since I have no control over all of this stuff, He does, so I will let Handle it.

Now I can breathe!! Thanks!! MJ

Mary Jo, I think this sounds like an excellent plan. I've been working letting things go myself -- it is very hard, though. Good luck to you and love to you, your mom, and your friend.

Mille Grazie Dawn and Cathy!!! I really didn't want to be a downer to this post. I appreciate your heartfelt support. I have been given some great advice today and I plan to put it to good use. Hopefully, my season of stress will help me to be a help to someone else someday!!

Now, if one of you could just send Jon BonJovi this way, that would really cheer me up. Although I don't know how much Phil would appreciate it!!! He is not a big fan of Jon!

Mary Jo,

Those don't sound like insignificant stressors. The other thing is that a lot of little stressors do just as much damage as one big one. They all take a toll on you.

I don't have any advice for you, because I haven't been doing so well dealing with my own stress this past year or so.

Just know that you aren't alone, and that you can vent to us any time you want.

{{{hugs}}}

Dawn

Mary Jo, this is the first time I have had to go back and read any of the posts from yesterday.

My heart and soul go out to you...you have a very small plate with a lot of stuff on it that is not of your making. It's no wonder you are feeling overwhelmed.

Two things stuck out for me in your post, among all the others...but these two things I can speak to with some sort of heartfelt emphathy.
First, you said your daughter is 18 and you worry about her leaving home for school. OMG! I can hear myself three years ago, when my oldest son left for college. I was a wreck, and these ladies might remember my crying big tears over the whole thing. I have a very good friend who told me that this is the way things are to be, children go up, we do what we can to raise them, we love them, we give them our all, and then they leave home. Fair, NO! Right, well yes and no. How far is she going away to school? Will you be able to communicate with her? Can you spend some mom time with her now until school starts? Both she and you will appreciate those stolen minutes of time together. But I won't kid you it does cause a pain in your heart when they leave....but it is the way it is supposed to be. We as mothers could very well sabotage their leaving and make them stay in many ways, but that's not what we really want to do...we want them to grow strong and have their own lives...you will still be MOM, even to my now 23 year old man, I am MOM; and forever it will be.
Write me about having a child leave home, we can share tears and kleenex and giggles when the time comes.

The other thing that struck me was "Why did my parents, etc have to grow old?" I am in the same position as you are, only my mother passed away last January....and my father just about joined her in February of this year. I ask myself the same questions...especially with my mother. But again, it is the way it should be.
My mom was my best friend, but she was MOM, too.
Her time had come, and God wanted her home....her work was done here. Watch your mom, spend time with her, have that coffee, and maybe one cookie...if she is doing what she feels is what she wants to do...what are you going to do about it? If she is feeling overwhelmed and the job of caretaker is too much for her, then you might want to talk to her about getting some help.

Only one more thing, cause this is getting long, remember to be good to yourself. Treat yourself as you treat your sick friend. Take time for you, even though it might only be a couple of minutes...take the bike ride, stop for tea, reward yourself for what good you do do for yourself. Life isn't fair, but we need to take the time to enjoy the things that are there for our enjoyment. AND remember, we are here for you to vent your worries and cares about. Someday it will be one of us, and you'll be there for us...it's the way it works around here.

(((HUGS)))

Cathy J

Thanks Sheri and Brie!! Thank you for your support. I am a little teary right now, and greatful that I do have a place to go and vent. I really don't usually express what is on my heart, because I am too busy trying to cheer up everyone else. I know that I can do it and I am very greatful for your support!!

quote:

Originally posted by MaryJo:
This is a very stressful year for me and I have really hesitated to say that because of the reasons I claim for my own stress.

{{{{Hugs, Mary Jo}}}}

I'm sorry you're experiencing all this stress, but don't ever not speak/vent about it here because you don't think that your stress is "big enough." Everyone's stressors are different and affect them differently because of WHO THEY ARE. If it's stressful to you and causing you pain/anguish, then it's big! I hope that the year gets easier for you to cope with as it rolls along, and I think that going back to your old behaviors is and excellent idea to help you toward that end!

Be well!
Sheri

Big hugs to you Mary Jo!!!! You have so much on your plate right now.

Good for you for recognizing that the stress won't just disappear and re-grouping and forming a new game plan.

You CAN do this Mary Jo! Just remember that it you aren't taking care of yourself, you won't have anything to give to the others in your life that are so important to you.

OK, I have decided this may be helpful for me to vent a bit even if nobody reads it or responds. I have read all of your responses and realized how I have just dropped my self care and gone so completely downhill on my eating.

This is a very stressful year for me and I have really hesitated to say that because of the reasons I claim for my own stress.

My mother, who is 74, cares for my elderly and very unwell 86 year old father. She also has living with her and is caring for her 76 year old sister who is extremely sick with cirrhosis of the liver. If that were not enough for her to handle, she also cares for my cousins toddlers, one 2 and one 4. My aunt passed away a few years ago and my very immature cousin has turned to my mother for support. OK, so who's stress is that anyway. It is moms right, well it is something that bothers me every day. I worry about her. I know she cares for her sister and dad because that is what she wants, but my cousin is beginning to really tick me off to the point where there may soon be a show down. That point came the other night when she was at her second job and her husband called to say he is "working late" (I can't stand him). Mom had the baby until 8:30 pm and had to drive her home because the husband has no car seat. OH man was I mad.

That is my primary issue. Then I have my husband's 40th birthday party I am planning. Lots of people at Fort Myers Beach. We will be staying there for the week. The secret planning is making me very tense and more so because my eating has gotten so out of control that I have gained 15 pounds and am in no way ready for beach exposure.

My daughter turns 18 this year and I can not stop thinking about her leaving for college. It really makes me heartsick. I almost don't want to talk about it at all.

My girlfriend is going through chemotherapy and radiation treatment for breast cancer and as I sit and talk to her and try to encourage her, I look at her bald head and think "what am I so upset about that can even compare to her own stress???" ps, did I mention that she is a very small part of my stress. Another thing I can't get off my mind.

So as I talk to mom 62 thousand times a day and really try to just be a diversion for her, I just want to sit somewhere and have a cookie.

I can't wait for these issues to go away to change my behavior. These things aren't going anywhere, they are happening. I sat at mom's table the other morning and wondered, "when did mom, my aunts and my dad get old??" Just a very weird place to be. So, when mom puts a pot of coffee on the table and some cookies, the natural inclination is to sit, talk, have coffee and eat the cookies.....stress relief! ?? Today I am going to begin my old routine.

I am going to ride my bike in the morning, maybe hit the ymca too. Start the day that way.
Make good, better and best choices and stop looking to the cookie for comfort, because I only feel worse after I have eaten it.

I am going to try to change the way I handle stressful situations. Since I can't change the situations themselves. I think I am also going to get back into taking a quiet bath once a week with a new magazine and some bubbles. I really need to focus a little more on me. Now, we still have 2 boys in little league and that means practices and 2 or 3 games a week, but that can be worked into my routine and it is only until the end of May.

I am taking vitamines every day now. Drinking more water. Eat more fruit. I am also going to set aside half an hour each morning as I have my coffee for a little meditation and prayer.
I find it helpful when I can just turn over all of my "stuff" and hand it to God. Let Him handle it. I have gotten away lately from quiet time with Him and since I have no control over all of this stuff, He does, so I will let Handle it.

Now I can breathe!! Thanks!! MJ

I had a kind of crummy week; when I went to the gym and my personal trainer appointment on Tuesday he rescheduled for Thursday and then I didn't feel very good Thursday so skipped it. Wanted to get to the County historic society yesterday for some research on my paper but slept late and again, was not in the mood. Hopefully I can get back on track and get to the historic society after my pt appt. Tuesday and move on from there.

I rediscovered Marc David's book, Nourishing Wisdom last night and am greatly enjoying that. Now, if I can get my sleep schedule back in control. . .

I've made some serious progress on the dissertation proposal. I got my first comments on one of the chapters back and they were not that major -- turned my revisions around already. I am going to meet with my advisor on Tuesday.

My fitness goals... well, I've been in sort of a holding pattern lately -- I have been just trying to maintain my current level of fitness until I get the proposal turned in, but the first Monday in April I should be starting a "boot camp" plan and hopefully that will get me kickstarted for my summer races. I have plans to do the bike leg of a duathlon, some summer road races and one or two sprint triathlons. Getting my training ramped up again should hopefully help me get rid of the last 15 pounds I want to lose.

My goals for the year have fallen into the dumpster to be very honest. I haven't been keeping them in mind at all and have decided maybe I need to revamp a little or more like a lot.

That said, Revamped goals include:
1. Exercise, I will get out and swim, no matter what the problem arises to get in the way.
2. Healthier meals with more emphasis on fruits and vegetables rather than potatoes.
3. Developing a more positive attitude about the way that things go in my life. This is probably the hardest. But it can be done.

As I have said, my weight loss and my exercise is more mind over matter right now. It matters and I have to make up my mind to go for it. I have been just letting things get by and not really paying attention to what I set out to do...basically feeling sorry for myself. No more. More positives, better food and out of the house!

Cathy J

My personal goals for this year are pretty well underway, with some gaps.

I set a goal to be ready and run a Half Marathon in May, and I'm on track, if not ahead. I have escalated my running goals, am trying training techniques that were recommended, and feel very excited about the race. I registered wicked early so I'd be sure to get ready on time I'm pretty proud of how it's going.

As for finding work I love, I am still plodding through. I have learned so much about myself from the books and resources I'm studying,and the benefits of just really coming to understand what has not worked for me before and why - are of course good wisdom that won't be wasted. I have narrowed my search quite a bit, but I definately wish I were at the end of this journey by now.

My family goals are top of the charts, though. I think I've never had such a great marriage (pinch me, ouch!),and my girls are thriving. My oldest turned 16 and got her license this week.

YIKES.

Lynne

Overall I think I'm doing pretty well. We've been under an incredible amount of stress and I've managed to really get a handle on my stress eating.

I got through my first week of changing to having fruit at dessert time and it's been fantastic.

As for planning ahead, I see the stress level just escallating but I feel confident that it won't impact my food plan.

I plan to start taking more runs as the weather warms up and gets lighter earlier.

I probably won't be in the gym this summer more than two days/week so I'll be using my home gym more often.

I still need to make definitive plans with my clients but I for sure don't want to drag dd to the gym with me every day. Hopefully my M/W/F clients won't mind a T/TH schedule through the summer months.

My goal is to get comfortably back into my maintenance range (towards the low end) as we go into the summer.