Hi, All. I've been doing very little posting lately. I still read a lot, but I just haven't had much to say. I have been frustrated with myself and weight loss and just haven't wanted to share much of that....so, this homework is a little selfish of me, but what do you do when you feel down, frustrated and ready to throw in the towel? What gets you motivated again? What reminds you that the journey is worth the trouble?

Mel

1. When frustrated I post or call a friend. Since I have a few friends going through this journey with me it helps me to not throw in the towel when I am sick of thinking about this healthier lifestyle stuff all the time! I wonder if I will have to think about it forever or will it become second nature?

2. Reading, reading, reading keeps me motivated. New recipes also helps...and actually making some

3. Old pictures that I have on my fridge! In the beginning it was just knowing that I was doing something right for ME and I wasn't worried what others thought.

The timing of this question is perfect for me. I'm definitely stuggling right now. I'm working crazy hours that are keeping me from cooking at home & going to the gym. I've been stress eating. There are too many social events lately that I've been eating & drinking my way through. I've been trying to talk myself back on track, but as many times as I try to snap myself out of it, I am finding myself in front of the snacks at work saying "If I'm working on a Sunday, then I'm having a cookie!"

In the beginning of June I have a meeting to be measured for my wedding dress. I've come so far, and I can't believe that with this big motivator coming up I can't get my act together.

So, to finally get around to answering the question, I don't really know what's going to work. At lunch today I was about to eat the second half of my sandwich (ordered in) when I told myself something I read on this site this morning, "Is this a size 10 decision or a size 28 decision?" I threw the rest of the sandwich away. I'm hoping that this line is going to help me out a little. It's just makes so much sense to me. We'll see how it goes...

Thanks so much Mel for this question. It has given me a chance to organize my thoughts & sort things out in my head a little.

I find that the more I obsess and worry about the weight loss, the worse I feel and the less likely I am to be constructive about it. I do better when I focus on exercise for its own sake (because it makes me feel good), cooking more at home (because it tastes better and is cheaper), eating more fruits and vegetables (because they are tasty, satisfying, and make me feel good when I eat them), etc., than on losing weight.

When I go on vacation, I lose weight because I am not eating from boredom, stress, loneliness, or anything else like that. Stressing and obsessing about weight makes me feel bad, which tends to make me feel like cleaning out the cupboards. I don't tend to keep a lot of snacky food around the house, but other than that I have been trying to keep the focus on taking care of myself.

I'm feeling the same way, Mel. I'm on this forum all the time reading the posts, but very rarely post anything myself. I have no idea what will motivate me to start taking better care of myself. I know from reading here that I can't just wait for the motivation to hit me, though. I just have to do it. Things have been a bit better the last few days - I just need to stick with it.

I hope that things get better for you, too!

Lindy

{{{Mel}}} I know how discouraging these feelings can be. I'm sort of there with you these days and a sure symptom is my lack of posts over the past couple of weeks. I too have been reading without posting much. I'm not much of a white-knuckler even though I know it works for some. A couple of thoughts:

1. I noticed in your siggy that you said CONTINUE going to the gym w/DH. I would suggest first of all that you start focusing on what you ARE doing and not what you AREN'T. This is one of the sure ways I get in trouble. When I start talking to myself about what I'm not doing day in and day out, it seems to be some sort of mental trigger for me to NOT do other stuff. If I talk to myself about what I am doing right, I seem to look for opportunity to do more right. Subtle switch of mindset.

2. The other thing I keep finding is that if I'll go back to the thing I know works EVERY TIME I get back on track. I've had enough experience to know what that is and you may still be trying to figure it out but maybe by focusing on trying things you'll get yourself going and learn what to do next time. For me, it's all about accountability and for me that means posting on What's For Dinner. This thing that works is as different as all of us but look for something smaller than you probably think it is. Water? Exercise routine? Eating a good breakfast? All of these things work for some of us. Figure out what your's is. I bet it's a baby step and I bet you can manage to do it today.

Peg

My big reminders of the journey being worth the trouble are:

My dd - setting a good example for her and doing my best to take care of myself so I'll be around to take care of her.

My energy level - when I'm eating well and exercising, I have tons more energy and feel great.

Fitting into my clothes - There is no way I'm willing to go up a dress size!

quote:

Originally posted by Melstruck:
what do you do when you feel down, frustrated and ready to throw in the towel? What gets you motivated again? What reminds you that the journey is worth the trouble?

Wow, have I been there. In the almost 3 years of my journey, I have been at that "down, frustrated and ready to throw in the towel" point at least several times.

I think what gets me motivated is my health. I will be 54 this year and my family has about every disease known to mankind on one side or the other--heart disease, hypertension and diabetes being the primary killers. I had to stop fooling myself that I could live and eat the way I had been before and expect to live, live well and have good quality of life.

You have to convince yourself that you're worth it...you're worth the effort it takes...and we all know it takes effort to eat healthy and exercise regularly. If we believe we are worth the effort then we are more likely to make the effort.

"This too shall pass." as the old saying goes. What you're feeling will pass...but you need to be proactive and not let it swallow you up. I would suggest that one way to do that is to be more participatory here and allow yourself to be inspired by what others are posting. Remember baby steps. You don't have to do it ALL and do it all PERFECTLY every day...you just need to do SOMETHING more than you did yesterday.

Hugs to you Mel...I don't think we talk nearly enough here about how hard this journey can be. As a result, sometimes several of us are suffering but no one knows it. I'm so glad you posted.

It gets really hard for me sometimes, too. I'm just getting off of a lack of motivation spurt. (I finally figured out that much of it was one medication screwing up another and my body.)

I just took it one day at a time, one meal at a time. Have a clean breakfast. There's a good step to build on. Then workout. Another step. Then do something for you, a cup of special tea or coffee, read a magazine, etc. That way when your next meal comes around, you're feeling better about what you've done.

This morning I woke up with the 3rd day remnants of a hormone related migraine. I did 10 min. of reading my bible (way short compared to most days), then went on to breakfast with my grandparents. I ate clean, left what I didn't want behind, then went to run an errand. When the mall wasn't open yet, I took advantage, and got in a 25 min. walk that I would not have otherwise fit in before I head to the airport. I'm gonna pack my lunch for the plane, then feel good that I'm on track and well behaved. That will keep me in good shape for tomorrow.

The more good days I have, the more likely I am to keep working at it the following day. It's just picking myself up that is so tough.

Hang in there. You'll get through it, we all have.

Laura

I think part of what helps is experience...having been on this road for almost three years now, I know that feeling discouraged will pass if I don't give in and give up.

When I am feeling frustrated, I try to find something new to motivate me. A new challenge (right now it's having mainly fruit for breakfast and going vegan 2 days a week). A new activity (the gym gets old, but Spring makes it easier to get outside biking, walking, hiking, etc.). A new motivating book (Thin for Life is a good one for starters, right now I'm reading Last Child in the Woods to get me outside). A new healthy food to try. Bringing newness into a routine rut can boost your motivation factor.

alli

The best thing to get me un-motivated is to live a few days off track. Nothing brings out my toddler within like a donut for breakfast, chips or fries at lunch, no time to make dinner.

The toddler says, "Whaaaa!!! I want to eat like this all the time! I HATE eating healthy! Stupid WW! KD's not my mommy, I don't have to do what she says!!!"

That's why dessert every night, or one piece of candy a day doesn't work for me. My toddler comes out and I just want more and more and I spend all day in a tantrum. The toddler inside saying, "MORE CANDY!!! Give my MORE CANDY" and the adult saying, "You already had one piece. That's enough!" It is a sucky way to spend the day... like Sybil or something.

Conversely, the best way for me to keep my motivation is to keep eating healthy and to get right back on the wagon when I fall off.

I actually enjoy my oatmeal. I enjoy healthy food. I like being healthy.

Sometimes I have to white knuckle it to get back on plan. But I've never regretted it. And my motivation does come back after a couple days.

Mel,
I know how you feel. I've never actually had a big weight loss to gain back(except after my divorce and three months of not eating when I lost 35 pounds which I did gain back) but have struggled to even lose a few lbs for years.

This homework is very appropriate for me today. For the last three days I have lived on junk food. Last night after eating pizza, cheese fries, and fried cauliflower(GASP) I really felt bad-not so much mentally but physically. I felt like a slug. This morning when I got up I really wanted to continue my junk food binge and did not want to take my dog for a walk. I made myself go(once I say the word WALK to Max he will follow me around and cry until I put his leash on and we go) and walked for 10 min. I felt much better even after that small trek across the park and my attitude has made a reverse. I feel back on track and the pizza, the desserts, the soda from Sat-Mon are in the past, I ate them, I can't change that so I'm letting it go.

For me I have to push myself, even to do something small. The journey is worth it for me now-I've lost six lbs since 2/21, now I am up 2 lbs and believe me I am not letting those other 4 lbs back in. That is my motivator.

I think by allowing myself a bad day(or three) makes me realize how YUK I feel afterwards and how good I feel when I take care of my body.

Maybe you could go out for a quick walk, do some crunches, something to give yourself a boost. Is your fridge stocked with good for you things? If not, maybe a trip to the market to stock up would help.

Don't give up!
Jill

Mel-- I feel just like you do - very frustrated, and the goes for just about everything happening in my life right now. I feel totally out of control. I don't want to have a "reason" for getting in shape. I should want to "just because it is good for ME"

My motivator (this time around) is that I want to be healthy enough to chase my 4 yr old around the park, take walks, and ride my bike further than my driveway! It is spring time and a time of renewal. So I am thinking of myself a beautiful tree that has been in hiding all winter.......just waiting for the warm sun and warm weather to bring forth my beautiful leaves and flowers!!!!!

I am worth it.

I think that is where a journal comes in very handy. I have journaled forever, but specifically about my journey to a healthier lifestyle. I keep my thoughts, feelings, food journal, exercise journaling in the same book. In that way I can go back to the beginning and remember why, look at the pics of me when I started and look in the mirror of me now. An grand improvement, but not completely where I want to be.

I also, take a week off, ONLY a week. I don't pig out, I eat sensibly, but not so precisely. I take the time to see what I am doing. I may exercise, I may not. Since swimming is relaxing to me, I usually do...I allow myself only one week twice a year though...and that week is reflective about what I am doing and why. And sometimes, it's just a matter of plodding along when I don't want to....until I do want to. Someone said there is no such thing as a motivation fairy...but if there were, she wouldn't come when you need her, she'd be there after you show you want something bad enough to work through the bad times.

The numbers in my pants jumpstart me more than the number on the scale. Shopping in my own closet is a great reward. I hate to think I have beautiful items hanging in my closet that I can't wear.

For me, having kids in a few years is my biggest current motivator. I'm trying to use this time while my thyroid gets straightened out to set myself up to be a fit mom, maybe even one of those in the bikini at the pool.

Mel, I'm sorry you are feeling that way - the good news is it will pass. There are a few ways to help it along, but I'm never quite sure which one is going to work, so I try different things.
What I find is that if I change my routine, I have to be more present, which forces me to be physically more aware of my body and how easy or hard it is to move. Getting fit for me has been about learning to enjoy freedom of movement, but if I never change my routine, I tend to live in my head and forget how I feel physically. Then, it's easy to stop seeing and feeling the importance of my right eating and exercise habits.
So, my suggestion is to make an effort to change some habit and try something new, and be mindful of how you feel physically. I'm going to go take my own advice now!

Lynne

I agree with Dawn and I am a member of the "gained back" club. I have gained back 12 pounds. Bathing suit season is already here in my hometown, in fact today we are going to the beach. Of course, I will be wearing shorts and a tank top.

Something just has to snap. I don't think you can define the moment, it just happens. I know that I don't want to be sporting a big tummy and cellulite this summer, so I know that I need to snap really soon.

Last weekend at the pool, there were three women, my age, with their kids sitting together in their very cute bikinis and their flat tummies. I wanted to drown them!!

Good question, if I had a good answer, I probably wouldn't have gained the 15 lbs. back that I had lost.

Dawn