Do you have a high-stress personality?

Stress is such a part of our everyday lives that sometimes we don’t even realize that we are under stress. We think that we are “just naturally nervous” or “I’m just a fidgety person.” Or we might think our stress is because of something that is happening “to” us rather than what’s happening “within” us.

If we feel like it is something that is happening “to” us we feel a sense of helplessness and that there is nothing we can do about the stress other than cope. This feeling of helplessness in and of itself is also a source of stress.

When you realize that the stress may have something to do with you, you can take control and start problem solving. Here are 10 personality traits that are symptoms of a highly stressed person and some ideas for doing something about it. Some of these traits by their very nature contribute to our stress levels.

Do any of these traits sound familiar to you?

1. Over-planning each day. Do you feel the need to stick to a strict schedule? Do you live in fear of falling behind or overlooking a task?

2. Doing several things at once. With too much to do and not enough time, it’s easy to think that “efficient” means doing everything at once. He who chases two rabbits catches neither.

3. Extreme need to win. Do you feel like a failure if you don’t come out on top—even when the only competition is your own expectations?

4. Excessive desire for advancement. Highly stressed people need confirmation from outside sources that they’re doing okay and performing well.

5. Inability to relax without feeling guilty. Do your weekends become opportunities for “accomplishment” and “getting something done.”

6. Impatience with delays. When you’re under pressure, everything in life takes on urgency and the additional burdens to get everything done as fast as possible.

7. Overcommittment. Are you chronically late or forgetful of commitments? Does your schedule cause problems in personal or professional relationships?

8. Chronic urgency. See #6. Now!

9. Highly competitive drive. Have you forgotten what it’s like to have fun for fun’s sake? Have you “grown up” so much that playtime actually causes you anxiety?

10. Compulsion to overwork. Is your office more familiar to you than your backyard? Do you find yourself missing out on what you might otherwise deem “meaningful”?

Not enough time tonight but will take this "test" tomorrow........Hmmmmmm.....wonder what that means?!!?!?!?!?!? LOL!!!!!!!!!!

From Cathy:

quote:

I have learned that I am not always going to be the won who wins the battle, so choose which battles I want to fight.

I have learned to walk away from things and people who cause me to feel bad about me, about my life, about what I am doing.
Quite frankly, they aren't worth my time.

I have learned that there is nothing I can't do, there are things that are harder for me to do.

I have learned to take mini-vacations in my mind...enjoy the time there and come back refreshed and invigorated.

I have learned that sometimes giving up or in is the answer to the question or problem. Sometimes great things are not worth worrying about or doing anything about...stop.

Do I always succeed? Nope, but I allow myself to fail, and begin again.

Brava!

Lynne

High Stress Personality...I don't think I am so much high stress as very high anxiety, which can be and is just as harmful to my health.

Since my disability I have learned to schedule my life with one thing a day,and two on a good day.
Forced destressing.

I have learned that I am not always going to be the won who wins the battle, so choose which battles I want to fight.

I have learned to walk away from things and people who cause me to feel bad about me, about my life, about what I am doing.
Quite frankly, they aren't worth my time.

I have learned that there is nothing I can't do, there are things that are harder for me to do.

I have learned to take mini-vacations in my mind...enjoy the time there and come back refreshed and invigorated.

I have learned that sometimes giving up or in is the answer to the question or problem. Sometimes great things are not worth worrying about or doing anything about...stop.

Do I always succeed? Nope, but I allow myself to fail, and begin again.

I'm a pretty type A kind of person - I like organization, schedules and I'm definitely driven and competitive. I see a lot of myself in some of these:


1. Over-planning each day. Do you feel the need to stick to a strict schedule? Do you live in fear of falling behind or overlooking a task?

I definitely stick to a schedule. I don't think it's over-planning though and I don't worry about forgetting something.

2. Doing several things at once. With too much to do and not enough time, it’s easy to think that “efficient” means doing everything at once. He who chases two rabbits catches neither.

I'm constantly multitasking.

3. Extreme need to win. Do you feel like a failure if you don’t come out on top—even when the only competition is your own expectations?

Yep, this is me for sure.

4. Excessive desire for advancement. Highly stressed people need confirmation from outside sources that they’re doing okay and performing well.

I don't need external confirmation but I always raise the bar for myself.

5. Inability to relax without feeling guilty. Do your weekends become opportunities for “accomplishment” and “getting something done.”

Not me at all - I schedule in plenty of down time and love to put my feet up and relax.

6. Impatience with delays. When you’re under pressure, everything in life takes on urgency and the additional burdens to get everything done as fast as possible.

DEFINITELY!

7. Overcommittment. Are you chronically late or forgetful of commitments? Does your schedule cause problems in personal or professional relationships?

Not me at all anymore. I'm very good now at setting boundaries for myself.

8. Chronic urgency. See #6. Now!

Not chronic, no ; )

9. Highly competitive drive. Have you forgotten what it’s like to have fun for fun’s sake? Have you “grown up” so much that playtime actually causes you anxiety?

I don't think that being competitive excludes you from having fun. Our whole family is highly competitive but we have a great time together win or lose. Certainly no anxiety around that.

10. Compulsion to overwork. Is your office more familiar to you than your backyard? Do you find yourself missing out on what you might otherwise deem “meaningful”?

Definitely not me.

#1 in some respects, only in that I know myself very well and if I don't get important tasks (like exercise, laundry or grocery shopping) done early in the day, they likely won't get done. So I do tend to structure the mornings of my off days from work somewhat so that I can be sure I get those things done...beyond that, I don't stick to a strict schedule.

#3 to some extent because the way my father spoke to me about academic achievement inferred that I was worthless if I didn't bring home all A's, win the spelling bee, etc., so I became competitive in that regard. That spilled over as I became an adult and definitely fed into my perfectionism. I didn't even start college until I was 35...my father was dead by that time, but I still found myself stressed if I wasn't getting an A for every course in every semester.

#5 to some extent because I work long days and rarely do any housekeeping on weeknights so, as a result, everything is left for the weekends. If I end up sitting around and being unproductive all weekend, I get upset with myself because nothing is getting done. OTOH, I certainly love my relaxation/down time so it's not like I feel like I have to be productive ALL the time.

#6 in that I am impatient when traffic is backed up, stuff like that.

I didn't find myself anywhere on that list (I'm as shocked as you). However, the place where I notice that I make myself stressed out is around my expectations. Consequently, when I actively keep my expectations loose, I'm less stressed.

For example: Mothers Day. Yeah, I had expectations. Usually I expect my husband to buddy up the kids and do something - anything. The best un-stressful Mother's Days have been the ones in which I just let the day happen without any strings. (Which I should have done yesterday and didn't...)

Lynne

I think I am pretty laid back. #6 would be the only one I can really relate to. I have gotten better though with the running late thing. Much of this comes from planning ahead-I credit Flylady for teaching me this. Occasionally I feel stress-self created though-things like, did I turn off the iron? Did I remember to lock the door? I used to have a big problem with overcommitment. So bad that I am embarrassed to say I would have to tell little white lies to get out of things because I would schedule two events at once because I was so afraid to say no to people. That stress was horrible and pushed me to change and learn to say no so I am not overcommitted. I also am so NOT competitive. I did have a compulsion to overwork when I first started working at home. Since my office was right here, and because I run a staffing service and there is always someone calling, I spent a lot more time in my office than in the rest of my house. I have learned to set boundaries-if there is an after hours emergency staffing need I will take care of it, other messages can wait until morning. Occasionally I would have temps calling me on my home number(they looked it up in the phone book). After many times of telling some of these people to not call me at home I finally told them that any messages left on my home number would not be responded to so they of course then started calling the business line.

I think any stress I feel is "self-inflicted". If I am worried about something it is usually because I am projecting and thinking about "what if". When I feel this way, I try to either meditate if I can or focus on something else. Most of what I do worry about never happens.

I love weekends for relaxing and enjoying my family/friends. My oldest sister though looks at her weekends as time to "get things done". She works about 4hrs a day-as soon as she is home she is cleaning, doing laundry, always something. She says she feels bad/guilty if she is relaxing. I am the opposite, I think sometimes I relax too much.

Jill

I am generally a pretty low key, laid back person so I don't see myself here very much except for #6 - Impatience with delays - as it seems I am always running late for something. And, when I am in the biggest hurry is when dd is being annoyingly slow or there is a big traffic jam.

As for #9 - Highly competitive drive - I think children's sports have a problem with this. Kids don't get out and "play" games just to have fun. They have to win or be on the winning team.

PS: Dawn- tomorrow is Tuesday