Laurie's homework gave us the opportunity to think about the people in our lives who support our healthy eating/weight loss goals. Most people were happy and grateful about how much outside support they have in their lives. What a blessing that is!

Now it's time to talk about the support we give ourselves. Your assignment is to write a letter to yourself in which you: 1) commend yourself for any positive self-talk, support, feedback and motivation you give yourself about your eating and exercise; and 2) give yourself a good talking to about any negative, de-motivating or self-destructive self-talk you are inflicting upon yourself. You can go into detail or keep it general, but please make sure your letter BEGINS with the positive.

Your letter to yourself may be posted here in this thread or written offline and kept for your own use if you feel it is too personal to share. However, if you do not share your letter, please still share that you wrote one and about how the experience was for you.

Here's mine:

Dear Sheri:

I am so incredibly proud of you for changing decades of bad habits where you would give up on yourself the minute you ate something you felt you weren't supposed to have and berate yourself horribly on top of it. I marvel at how much you have been able to erase the negativity about eating that used to be so much a part of you. Now you plan and give yourself permission to eat something that you REALLY want and you don't beat yourself up about it. And when you end up eating something that you DIDN'T plan for, you go right back on plan the next meal instead of quitting. Good job!

I love that, when you are at the gym doing cardio and you feel yourself wanting to quit, you cheer yourself on inside your head and push through the fatigue. You use your competitive spirit to motivate yourself to perform better, and I really admire that!

You have been doing a good job the past several weeks of motivating yourself to get up for exercise before work on weekdays. That 5:15 a.m. alarm is really early and it's hard to get out of bed, but you are showing a commitment to making early morning exercise a habit. You are realistic enough to acknowledge that you're not 100% there yet, but you are really making progress and I'm SO proud of you!

However, I am often disturbed at your negative and destructive self talk when you don't get up in time for exercise or when you don't make it to the gym. Sure, you're disappointed in yourself--that is only natural. But you can be disappointed without beating yourself up so badly. It makes me sad when I hear you call yourself a loser or say how pathetic you are. That isn't going to help anything--in fact, it hurts your self-esteem. I realize that your negative self-talk is long ingrained, but look at all the changes you've made in the past 10 months. Lordy, girl, if you can do all THAT, you can certainly change a few lousy "tapes" of negative self talk! Work on that, will ya?

And remember, however hard you have to work, YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Love
Me

Dearest Dawn,

You've done a great job watching what you eat, and eating a healthy diet this past year. You have lost 15 lbs. and are down two sizes in clothing.

The next step you need to conquer is exercise. You can DO this and stick to it. You like to exercise. You love how it makes you more energetic and allows you to get a good night's sleep. Remember how good it feels to be sore for a reason, rather than from tension?

Keep up the good work on the eating front, and add the regular exercise into the plan, and you should hit your goal by the fall.

Love,
Yourself

Dear Laurie,

You’ve done a good job so far. You’ve definitely made it farther than ever. It may seem like it is far away, but you’ll get there. You’ve gotten into some smaller clothes. I know they’ve become tight again, but that is something you can change. You are enjoying exercise now, at least when you can get to the gym. Spring is here and with the police cracking down, it’s a good time to try a walk around the block.

Now to do that you really need to buckle down. When this pay check comes in its time to get some workout DVD’s. It’s also time to set up some new goals. The first 40 pounds weren’t easy to lose; the next forty won’t be either, so it’s best to get started now. That means no more stops at the coffee shop, no more dessert and definitely more exercise. This is something you can do, something you have to do. Let’s get to it.


Laurie

I'm going to be posting a letter, by the end of tonight. i've been thinking for 2 days on this and think I'm ready to tackle it. I'll post it here later.

Laurie

quote:

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Originally posted by Sandy:
Your homework assignment helped me choose love today.

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I just have to say...that made my day. Thanks. {{{Hug}}}

You guys...I just have to say I am honored and so impressed with your responses to this assignment. I'm sitting here in tears (at my desk...how embarassing! hehe) after reading them and feeling so connected to all of you.

Thanks for making the effort I put into the assignment all worthwhile!

Sherie,
I thank you so much for this assignment. I've been having a rough couple weeks. I tend to get down and hard on myself under almost any circumstance, but especially during times of stress. The letter reminded me that I've come a long way toward self love and respect and acceptance and that it is a gift I can give myself today. Postive change always comes out of love. Your homework assignment helped my choose love today. Thanks for the support and the help. You are a good friend.

Dear Sandy,
I am so proud of your efforts over the years. I see how committed you are to good health - not just physical, but emotional, mental and spiritual too.
I know that this is a very difficult time now with Dad's cancer and their divorce. I want you to take extra good, gentle care of yourself.
You are dear and wonderful and I want you to knwo that today. You can build on today. You are doing a good job with Sophia and with your job search. Stay close to those that love and care for you. This is all working out.
You do not have to eat to fill yourself up. You are full already- you are enough and I love you.

great idea Sheri.

Dear Stacy:

First off, great job on trying to do the 21 days cardio after you read how budgetgal did it and was so impressed. These are are traits you should want to incorporate into your life. You will finish too, even if you do have to add on the extra days at the end. You didn't make excuses if you didn't get it done, you just continued the next day and you really have only taken 2 days off.
Secondly, great job about making exercise non-negotiable, see I told you that dh would be able to hang out wiht himself sometimes and you shouldn't feel guilty, you even got him moving faster in New York
Thirdly, Fabulous job on packing the lunch and making the time to eat it 99% of the time. It is so important to make time for yourself and your own needs instead of worrying about everyone else. You do feel better now mentally and physically, see the exercise does release endorphins or something and it wasn't just a ploy you kept telling yourself.
Lastly: great job on remembering to eat breakfast most times and take your vitamin. I know how anti-breakfast and lunch you were before this.
Now, you cannot be so strict with your food at times that you then feel entitled to eat badly more than one day at a time.
It will throw off your cycle and metabolism, the depriving and then the eating, and you know how important it is to keep that on track.
Remember how good you felt when you could wear those clothes again and how great you felt when everyone said you looked trim.
You need to nourish your body, it is all fuel. So use the good stuff.

Dear Diana,

You've been doing really well the past few months. Your cooking skills are through the roof, you've been creative with menus, and you've been having a great time designing & planning a new kitchen.

This past week was tough, but I'm really impressed with how well you handled things. You tried to get as much sleep as you could, you remembered to take your medication, and not even strange men ripping things off your walls kept you from the produce market. When you needed help, you asked for it, and that's a great step for you. Color me impressed!

I think it's time you began to make exercise a priority. It's drudgery, I know you don't like it, but that's simply got to change. The weather's great, so get yourself to the pool on the days you don't want to go to the gym. You know how much the beagle likes to go on walks, indulge her with a couple of blocks and get yourself away from the desk for a little while each day.

I know you've been having a tough time of things. I wish I had answers for you, and I wish I could show you the amount of good that others see in you. Right now, focus on keeping yourself healthy. Enjoy your new kitchen, okay?

Sincerely,
Me

Sheri... great assignment...thanks for a very thought provoking idea...

I chose to keep my letter private. It was actually hard for me... I have a very hard time with putting those negative tapes on pause... but I did it.. and was able to give myself more positives..

jacqui

Bumping this up to keep it "on top."

Dear Denise,

I’m so proud of you for losing 27 lbs in the last 3 years. I’m especially proud of the last 11.5 lost since the winter holidays when you began posting on CT. I know that you feel so much better for it!

I’m proud of you for posting and seeking support. Keep learning from this. Yeah, you might be able to lose weight on your own - but you usually don’t. Plus, it is more fun with other people. Support is good and it is ok to ask for it.

I’m proud that you have added more exercise every month.

I’m proud that you are almost never seen in the drive through lanes or the doughnut store or grabbing a sticky bun in the coffee shop anymore! Speaking of coffee, I’m glad you switched to decaf.

I’m proud that you are seeking to be healthier and happier and that you are resisting going into dieting mode.

Here is one suggestion for you. You’ve got to get your butt off of the computer! Things have improved since January. It is time for more baby steps in this area.

Keep up the good work.

Love, Your Ideal Self


Reply back to myself:

Dear Self,

Thanks for all of the pats on the back!!

You are so right about the computer time! I committed for a week to be on the computer early in the AM and to be off by 9am. Go back on for 30 mins at lunch and to not go back on until after dinner. That worked really well. I got more exercise in then. It isn’t like I suffered some great deprivation from lack of computer screen glow. OK, I’ll take your advice and go back to that routine in April. Thanks! You take care now.

Love, Denise

SheriaVA
You did a great job. THis is a very thought provoking topic. If you read your letter to yourself everyday you will do awesome. It inspired me and I am not you. Thanks for sharing that as a great testimony and example.
I copied the assignment so I can look at it and give it some thought and I will do this. Thank you
IVA

Shawna...that was AWESOME! You may be new at this, but you sure have plugged in to the CT spirit! Way to go!

Dear Shawna,

Although you've just started your journey, you are on the right track.

You have been living up to your commitment to walk every evening. Maybe it is not what you want to do as soon as you get home from work, but you do it. Your bad math skills worked out to your benefit for once. You thought you were walking 8 blocks a day, and what a pleasant surprise when you realized it is actually 12! Working up that sweat not only feels good , but it makes Jorge (dog) happy, too, to be able to tag along. Isn't it worth it to see him get excited when you get out the leash?

I am also proud of how you think before you eat now. If you can't immediately put your intended food or snack into a category (protein, dairy, fruit, etc), you don't eat it. Face it, there is no 'real' category besides 'junk' for cadbury eggs. Ok,so maybe thre is a lttle dairy in there. Easter isn't over yet, there is still time to eat a few ...maybe.

This won't be easy, or quick, but you can do it, and I know you will.

Keep it up!
Shawna

PS Great homework, Sherri.