Can I look at what others have done to succeed with an open mind?

(Meaning, none of the, "Counting doesn't work for me. Nope, nope, never tried it, never will, and even if I HAD tried it, I know I would have hated it, so I won't do it" or "I hate exercise. Won't do it. Don't care if it helps, I WILL NOT exercise, ever!")

I'm in the yes and no camp too : )

For a long, long time I held on to having a dessert every day. It was often brought up that perhaps I could do something different but it took me years before I was able to give that up.

Usually I'm willing to work on things but some are harder than others.

I find that for myself, the more resistant I am to something, the more I really need to look at that issue.

I try all sorts of different things. Some of the things work, some don't. Some work and I got to lazy or busy to stick with it.

I don't know that I have ever really said or thought " I KNOW that won't work for me, I'm not going to do it." But I can honestly say I've said or thought "I don't want to go to all that hassle so I'm not going to do that."

Dawn

LOL!

quote:

Can I look at what others have done to succeed with an open mind?

I admit it - I have developed strong opinions about what does/doesn't work for me. I have succeeded, so I must have been right.

in reading the postings, i am reminded that this weight loss journey is such a metaphor for life. i think comparing ourselves to others has the potential danger of making us feel disconnected and separate, i.e. (" i can do this better than ___", or "she is better than me.") one up or one down are not great places to be in th e long run. i think, however,if learning about others can increase our sense of commonalities, wanting to reach out, feel more connected, etc., than it can do ourselves and others a great deal of good.

I tend to admire others success, it might not be the way I would do it, but I admire their ability to achieve a goal that they have set for themselves. IE. I am not a big fan of surgeries for weight loss, but if a person can do that and succeed, more power to them. I am not a big fan of weights and hours at the gym...but if a person wants and will stick to it, more power to them.

At our WW meetings, we post before and after pics of people who have achieved their goal and kept it off for 6 months. ON that wall is the picture of a woman I have known since we moved to town...she has lost the same amount of weight that I want to lose. She has the same kind of family life that I do. I know it wasn't easy fo her to do so. She is a wonderful role model, and I do admire and feel a little envious of her...but when I am having a bad time I remember her, and she helps me to keep going. I think we all need one person we know who has achieved a goal whether it's something we want or a different goal, and use them as a mentor or guide. It's always better to do it with another, than on your own.

Yes and no.

I know that the book "Thin for Life" had a huge impact on me. Prior to reading it, I was VERY resistant to journaling food. But something clicked when I read the book, and I decided that I wanted to lose weight more than I wanted to resist writing my food down.

I also know that KD had a big impact on me… and reading that she doesn’t keep ice cream in the freezer… REALLY, REALLY helped. Since for MOST people, if you can’t keep ice cream in the freezer, it means that you are weak, or have no self control or will power… “virtues” that are highly prized in our society. It REALLY helped to see KD, with several books published and a TV show, and know that very successful people lack “will power” and decide not to keep the stuff in the freezer or pantry.

On the WW boards… if I say something about, “Clean out your pantry. Don’t keep it in the house” many people will try and talk me into individually wrapped Dove Promise or WW bars or something that is portion controlled. They sort of don’t get that not buying it works for me. And if I’m not eating 100 calories of chocolate something or other everyday… and doing fine… stocking my freezer with 1,000 calories of fudge bars… is 1,000 calories that I have to figure out how to burn… even if they are “only” 100 cals each.

Also the whole, “This works for me…I think it may work for you, too” and listening to people who are “successful” is interesting. There are many successful people who have pantries filled with “junk” food and eat one a day. There are many successful people with no “junk” food in the pantry… and are doing just fine on that plan. It is a sorting and filtering thing and figuring out what success looks like for you.

And there IS tension because if something is working… the temptation is to go, “Yo Dude!!! Do it my way!!! It works!!!!” - which isn’t a lie. But when it comes to the “junk” in the pantry question… the two camps often try to recruit members for whatever side they are on. Because they both experience success.

Also, there are successful people I do NOT want to emulate. I read the guy at http://jack-sprat.net everyday. And he does say some good stuff. And when he is maintaining or losing he is more in his right mind and a little more sane. When he is gaining or 5 lbs over goal… he is just a basket case… and it is very painful to read. He also will do things like go to a church retreat and eat no desserts at all in front of people… and then binge at night. (And kudos for him being brave enough to put that out there.) Or he went to a special catered dinner for his mom’s birthday and stopped on the way and bought a jar of salsa… and ate lettuce and salsa all night.

The guy IS successful. Has kept 50 lbs of for 5 years or something. Is a successful WW leader. Do I listen to his weight loss/maint advice? NO WAY. Honestly, I’d rather be overweight than live like he does and struggle like he does.

But his posts are helpful to me. And he DOES have some good insights, sometimes. But many times his posts inspire me to figure it out and make it work for ME and how NOT live a life of eating lettuce and salsa from a jar at parties.

This one is kinda hard for me, but has gotten much better since starting Beck.

I'd see, for example, Brie posting in the "What's for Dinner" thread and think, "Gosh, planning a day ahead has got to be such a pain. I'll never be able to do that. It sounds tedious and boring."

Or, "I hate running. Why do people run? That doesn't make any sense. I don't know how! I'll never run."

"I love dessert! I can't NOT have dessert every night."

But to pull something my therapist confronts me with (that I posted in another thread, too), "I understand that's how you've ALWAYS done things (or thought)...has it ALWAYS gotten you the results you want?"

No. It hasn't. I still don't look forward to planning my food ahead of time, but it works better. 25 pounds in 3ish months says so. Wine with dinner every night is a luxury, not a necessity. Dessert every night--same thing. I CAN go without things I thought I couldn't. I CAN run in short bursts and eventually, will learn to go further. I CAN be in shape. I CAN learn to enjoy exercise ("Oh, I'll NEVER enjoy exercising after so many years of being yelled at and pushed while I did it competitively.").

Just because it didn't work the first time doesn't mean it won't work the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 18th. I couldn't do one push-up in January, and now I can do 20 in a row. I couldn't imagine being so bold as to ask my boss for a raise, but I did. I couldn't imagine NOT eating everything on my plate, but I do that now.