The concept of “Starting Over Monday” came up a couple of times in different threads yesterday, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot since then. Thought I’d start a specific thread to talk out my own issues with this bad habit, hear what you guys have to say, and share what works. Seems like a good way to break this cycle once and for all.

Why do I start eating way too much of all the wrong things on a Saturday and/or Sunday, and give myself permission to continue because I’ll “start over on Monday?” I think it’s tied to a lot of things we talk about here:

All or nothing thinking. I’ll be “bad” for a little while longer, then I’ll be good again. Forever.

Clean slate. I’ve always been attracted to the clean slate idea. When I went to college, I kept telling myself, nobody here knows what a geek you were in high school. You can totally reinvent yourself if you want to. Except that I was still a geek and reinventing myself didn’t work. But I keep gravitating to the clean slate. If I find a new job, no one will know that I’ve screwed up in this one. If I get a bigger apartment… If I move to a new city… Oh, and don’t even get me started on New Year’s Resolutions.

Public vs. private. On the weekend, I’m usually alone in the kitchen when the binge begins. No one sees me, and the calories don’t count. Overeating during the week is much more public; all my co-workers are potential witnesses.

Working mommy guilt. Five days a week, I spend a little time in the morning and a little time in the evening with DS. So on weekends I feel like I should focus more on him and what he wants to do. If he wants to bake cookies with me or go out for lunch, it’s so hard to say no. And “I’ll start over Monday” makes it even easier to give in.

Does any of this ring a bell to anyone out there? What do you do about it? How do you stop in your tracks and tell yourself, no, let’s just start over right now instead? Put down the spoon; step away from the refrigerator; keep walking past the Cinnabon and Auntie Annie’s Pretzels.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’m a LOT better about this than I used to be. Now a binge might be three bowls of cereal; in the past, I’ve been known to have a half gallon of mint chocolate chip for Saturday dinner. How and how much I go off track have improved. But I still go off track and I want to stop doing it so regularly on weekend.

Sometimes this forum is a lot like the professional development courses I've taken in my career. It's stuff I know, and I know I know it, but it just takes someone else articulating it in a different way to get me to see how I can make it work.

I had a couple of aha's reading your responses. Yeah, my kitchen is pretty free of troublesome treats, but there are some healthy things in there that stop being healthy when I eat too much of them -- like Go Lean Crunch cereal. And we do usually bake from the Small Batch Baking cookbook, but that doesn't mean we have to eat it all at once.

Part of the problem I think is that I'm not making all that much progress during the week. I'm exercising every day, and my eating is reasonably under control. I do slip up occasionally Monday through Friday, but I'm able to get back on track quickly and compensate with extra workouts. I feel like I'm working hard just to stay where I am.

And Lynne, you're right in that this is probably symptomatic of bigger issues. Stressing about DH's new business. Feeling a little trapped in my current job because we're going to need my salary and benefits till he gets off the ground. Dealing with the marital give-and-take that comes with this situation.

So far, I'm hanging in there this weekend. DS and I are home alone, and it's pouring rain outside. I've been busy with laundry, cleaning closets, and taking care of other various chores. DS comes to find me occasionally, to read a book or play a game. I am staying out of the kitchen and thinking about ways to get out of the house this afternoon.

Hi Susan (waving wildly at my computer screen like a moron),
As usual, we are in sync. I have this same attitude especially now that I am working so much. For me it isn't reserved for just Mondays; what I find is that I tell myself that I'm making up for something else in my day with this treat, and that I know I will balance out over the next few days. This actually was my reality and it worked before I had NO time to workout, and now that my situation is different, it isn't working. I'm 5 lbs from goal (which, in all fairness was too hard to maintain realistically)and it's irritating me. I really GET how hard it is to be committed to fitness and work nowadays.
My solution is to get conscious about what I'm trying to soothe, and this is a common epiphany around here - nothing new. Why am I needing this snack so badly? Because something has to make up for the bad day I just had? If I'm home, knitting is my favorite trick to stop snacking. You should see the scoopneck pullover I'm finishing today Can't wait to start the next project - creating is my little personal oasis. Also, getting the heck out of the kitchen or off the couch or wherever I associate binges.
I think the others are right: one has to really accept the fact that self sabbotage is a waste of time, and it's not an accident. If one continutally loses and gains the same litte chunk on a regular basis, one has to accept that some deprivation may be required to move through this hurdle. Sucks but its true, and the reward will be worth the struggle, that's for sure. I always like that part

hugs,
Lynne

quote:

Originally posted by Brie:

The thing that really got my to stop right then and not wait until Monday is knowing that I would have to start the week undoing the damage I caused by overeating over the weekend. I can recover quickly from one meal or snack over calories but it's much harder to recover from a couple of days. Plus it always made Mondays that much harder because I would white knuckle my way through them.

I recently had this epiphany as well. Why blow all the hard work I'd put in over the week over a whole weekend of cheating? I'd rather go off course for a meal and then jump back on to minimize the damage calorie-wise.

quote:

Originally posted by susanrows
Does any of this ring a bell to anyone out there? What do you do about it? How do you stop in your tracks and tell yourself, no, let’s just start over right now instead?

This is exactly how I lived for many years. I would be somewhat "good" during the week but come the weekend, I felt like I had permission to eat and drink whatever I wanted. It didn't work in getting me to my health and weight goals so in the end, I knew I had to change my habits.

One of the big keys for me was keeping a "clean" kitchen and pantry. It's hard to get myself into too much trouble these days because there is very little that's bad for me in the house. I have to make a conscious effort to go scouting out for desserts or high calorie items. Usually I decide it isn't worth it.

Another big thing for me was to change the focus of our family time. It was ALWAYS centered around eating out, baking and cooking. Now, we do active things as a family - hiking is the current family favorite and I will pack a picnic lunch but it's all healthy.

The thing that really got my to stop right then and not wait until Monday is knowing that I would have to start the week undoing the damage I caused by overeating over the weekend. I can recover quickly from one meal or snack over calories but it's much harder to recover from a couple of days. Plus it always made Mondays that much harder because I would white knuckle my way through them.

PS If your son really wants to bake, do something out of the Small Batch Baking cookbook that Denise and Sheri talk about. That way you can't get yourself into too much trouble.