I am supposed to be flying out to MO next week for 3 days. I have been having mixed feelings for a while now. I am going for a friend's military graduation. She is very important to me however I am having bad feelings about leaving. Part of this is escalated by the fact that on Tuesday someone fired a gun two blocks from where my dd was waiting AT SCHOOL for me to pick her up. There were kids everywhere! These A**holes have no consideration for human life. And now yesterday someone was shot in the leg twice two blocks from my house. The city I live in has had it's share of trouble, but things were improving dramatically, until this week. I am so afraid to go away. My dd will be staying with my mom and dad, out of the city, but she still has to go to school and after what happened on Tuesday just walking out the school doors puts those kids in danger! I want to cancel my trip-but, my friends parents paid for the plane tickets(I am paying them back when I see them next week). Do I give them the money and tell them to find someone else to go, cancel my ticket and pay the cancellation fee? I don't know what to do.
Jill
Summer Challenge Goals: 1) Walk 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week 2) Plan weekly menus
So glad to hear that you had a great weekend all around! Good for you : )
summer 7 challenge goals: - Meditate every day - Start the day with positive imagery and self talk Out of our beliefs are born deeds; out of our deeds we form habits; out of our habits grows our character; and on our character we build our destiny.
hey jill, i see a feature article out of your experience "Get Fit on Jill's Airport Workout" published in SELF, or SHAPE, or Fitness, or Cooking Light magazines. iz
Goals: 1. Stop thinking like a chronic dieter and start living to inspire. 2. HALT (hungry, anxious, lonely, tired) I will stop and tune in with myself should I experience these things, and respond with something healthy. 3. One word 2008: courage 4. Eat slow and mindfully.
i had the same experience when i travelled to SF in january. i came back and my pants were loose. the layovers allowed me to walk walk walk with a heavy backpack. it was great knowing that i was staying active. glad you hopped over the anxiety obstacle! it is so empowering to feel like you can overcome something, eh? whew!
Goals: 1. Stop thinking like a chronic dieter and start living to inspire. 2. HALT (hungry, anxious, lonely, tired) I will stop and tune in with myself should I experience these things, and respond with something healthy. 3. One word 2008: courage 4. Eat slow and mindfully.
Hi, I'm too tired to start a new "I"m back thread" but I am home from MO. It was great to see my friend graduate from basic training(ARMY). I am SOOO proud of her!!! The trip itself(meaning travel was a disaster but I'll explain later-missed flights, lost in the car, etc!!). I am SO glad to be home!!! I missed being here on the forum but am glad to be home. My b/f is at his house sick with the flu and my dd is sleeping at my sister's so I have not seen either of them since my arrival home at 1AM but I will see them both tomorrow and cannot wait!!
I lost 3 lbs!!! I think this is mostly because I spent 2 of my 3 days in the airports for over 6 hours Wed/Fri and was so bored so I walked around the terminal forever it seemed like!!
Also-I hate to fly but the dr. prescribed generic Xanax-I can fly!!! Plane turbulence, banking the plane where it looked like the wing was perpendicular to the ground even though I know it was not, not a problem-I hate to rely on drugs to help me fly but I had NO anxiety after the Xanax!! I can fly anywhere now-hopefully one day without medication but for now it works!
I was So incredibly proud of my friend for graduating basic training!! DD was fine the whole time I was gone and I was stressed over nothing!
I will have to take time to read all the new posts in the morning but I missed being here! Jill
Summer Challenge Goals: 1) Walk 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week 2) Plan weekly menus
Enjoy your trip, Jill. Hopefully you will have a fun time. Travel safe!
Summer Se7en Challenge Goals: 1. Add back core & toning work + weight work 1X each per week to start. 2. Tackle the Sugar Monster--Have a sugar free mint after lunch and dinner, wait 20 minutes, and reassess the need for a sweet treat.
Posts: 7134 | Location: Rehoboth Beach, DE | Registered: March 12, 2004
Well, I am leaving in the morning for my trip so I'll be offline until Saturday. I am really anxious about this trip(in a not good way) because a)I hate to fly and b)I am not ready to go. I took the day off today from work to get everything together. I have to leave my house around 3:30AM so I will be in bed early(I hope). This is also putting a little financial strain on me so that is creating more stress. My dd will be staying with my parents for most of the three days so I do feel better about that. I know once I'm there I will be fine but getting ready and getting there is stressing me to the point of not wanting to do anything. It is my own fault for procrastinating and now I'm paying for it. I have laundry to do, need to run and get some items for the trip, make sure dd has everything she will need while I'm gone, etc. I am trying hard to not check in with work stuff(there is another person covering this week), it is hard because my job is a constant worry. I am going to make the best of this trip because I can't back out now!
I am looking forward to this weekend when I'm home and this is all behind me.
Jill
Summer Challenge Goals: 1) Walk 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week 2) Plan weekly menus
Jill - Does your daughter know about the shootings? Is she feeling uneasy? I think the answers to those questions would impact my decision to go/stay greatly.
In the end though, I'm in the listen to your gut camp. A real friend will understand.
summer 7 challenge goals: - Meditate every day - Start the day with positive imagery and self talk Out of our beliefs are born deeds; out of our deeds we form habits; out of our habits grows our character; and on our character we build our destiny.
I'm not a parent, so I can't know what this feels like for you. But I think you should go for all the reasons Diana and Denise mentioned.
I may be completely off-base here, but I have the gut instinct that there is more going on with this trip. Are there other issues going on in your head or heart about going to MO? About leaving your bf (if he's not going with you)? About travelling? About being in MO? About how you look or feel about how you look?
(I'm not asking you to post an answer to those questions here but to ask yourself if they apply.)
Summer Se7en Challenge Goals: 1. Add back core & toning work + weight work 1X each per week to start. 2. Tackle the Sugar Monster--Have a sugar free mint after lunch and dinner, wait 20 minutes, and reassess the need for a sweet treat.
Posts: 7134 | Location: Rehoboth Beach, DE | Registered: March 12, 2004
Let her miss school. Talk to her teachers about work she will miss. Make her promise to complete here work while you are gone and leave her for a three day grandparent get away.
I would personally, leave her with your parents, go on your trip and enjoy your time while you have the peace of knowing that your daughter is safe!
Posts: 1365 | Location: West Florida | Registered: March 12, 2004
This is HIGH PANICKY MOM answering. My boys are and were the most precious people in the world to me. It is true that you have to ask, which is safer, with me here or with my parents away from this. It is true that in order to heal from this scare, you will have to live where you are, and resume life as it is. That is spoken from experience. Yet, for now, the choices are call your friend/parents and let them know what has happened. OR go and worry about your daughter all the time you are gone, thus possibly not enjoying the trip anyway. In the cases of school shootings, etc., the parents chose to stay with their children....and thus be the protectors their instincts were telling them to be.
Go with your gut. I would call my friend, tell her the story, and that you just can't leave your daughter. Then BOTH of you go to your parents to regain some center in your life. Come home, knowing that you can't control everything that happens to her, but you can control your reaction to it. Maybe suggest to your friend, that you meet another time, soon....if she is as good a friend as you say, she will understand your love for your daughter.
Good mothering, and try to have a great day!
Summer Challenge Goals:
1. Get out of the house and in the pool four days a week. 2. Schedule meals a week at a time. 3. five fruits and vegetables a day, along with water.
Posts: 3426 | Location: Central USA | Registered: March 11, 2004
Originally posted by jillybean: she still has to go to school and after what happened on Tuesday just walking out the school doors puts those kids in danger!
This is true, some extent, for every kid/person in America... The kids at Virginia Tech, Columbine, your city, and mine (we've had our fare share of school violence and lock downs because of a guy with a gun on the school property). And many of us work with one or two (or more) people who are at risk of "Going Postal".
Not to mention the risks of driving in our cars, being in an earthquake or tonado, contacting bird flu, being involved in a terrorist incident, plane crashes... I could sit and type all day long, for the rest of my life listing risks we take both leaving the house... and staying home... each and every single day.
You can't be with your kid every minute of every day... and realistically... even that is no guarantee of keeping her, or you for that matter, safe.
For the most part... I think that it is best to assess the risk... and cope with the stress in an effective way. Gavin DeBecker’s book, Protecting the Gift is also a good read for parents and coping with risk and safety and kids.
However, I agree with D's questions… and if you would deep, down feel better staying home… you should go with your instincts.
As a non-parent, I'd ask: Is your daughter any safer with you than with your parents? I understand you might FEEL better being close to her, but...is that truth or just how you feel?
I'd also ask...how do you think you'll feel about it in 5 years if you don't go? Will you regret not going to see your friend graduate, and be angry at some hoodlums for firing a gun?
Would your daughter want to go with you (and is it affordable)?
Challenge Goals: *10 minutes of unplanned exercise five times a week *Gym time twice a week *Socialize at least once every two weeks.
