Sorry the homework is lame, I'm exhausted.

Accepting compliments and feeling good about oneself.

I am still not great about accepting compliments. I tend to be self-deprecating.

And while I still have some moments of NSVs I still tend to feel fat.

I am getting better about this though.

This is not phrased well...

basically I tend to sabotage my self-image a little by not being able to accept compliments.

How do you sabotage your self-image and how can you stop?

I gave up beating myself up for Lent.

I'm always busy telling other people how to run their lives instead of paying sufficient attention to my own and, when they complain I feel badly about myself for doing it. Yesterday I "traded" my husband something I wanted for never "bugging" him again. Can't imagine how he got to be 62 years old without my help. Now I'll have to figure out how to convert my "concern" for his actions into paying more attention to my own. Not likely to happen overnight

I wish trying to change weren't "failure" when the inevitable boo-boos happen. I once read an article that asked "How many times do you let a baby fall when learning to walk? (or a kid learning to ride a bicycle) Do you pick him up after the first time and say, 'okay, that's it!' Of course now. You allow him to fall as many times as necessary until he learns to walk."

quote:

Originally posted by cobismom:
We just can't or won't accept that we are good people even though we have food issues.

I was reading the responses just now, and the above comment struck me. I beleive we have food issues because of the way we feel about ourselves. Yet we see ourselves as bad for having the food issues....

I'm glad people liked the homework.

How timely! My carpooling buddy and I were talking about self image just this morning.

I too still think of myself as fat and I compare myself to others all the time. It has gotten better, but if I am having an off day then I slip and beat myself up in my head for being too heavy.

If I have gained a little and someone says I look great then I feel like a phoney (sp?) and want to say..."oh, if you only knew!".

How can I stop? Positive self talk. If I were to say something great about myself every morning in the mirror would I start believing it...truly believing it 100% of the time???

What helps me accept compliments is thinking how I feel when I give them. I feel better after a thank you, but feel kind of silly when it gets shrugged off, or "this old thing." I don't want to take away others pleasure in giving.

I've also been practicing "acknowledging myself" so this is a great topic for me right now. I am trying to write 5 things I acknowledge myself in my journal every few days. It was really tough and foreign at first, but it's getting easier and more comfortable.

i.e. I acknowlege myself for choosing a banana instead of a brownie
I acknowledge myself for fully focusing on my son as he talked to me.

I’m not good at accepting compliments either. They embarrass me and I sort of feel like if I accept it and just say “Thank you” then I am being arrogant or something. In the past I would make a joke about the compliment and shrug it off.

In reality I know that I am being rude IF I don’t thank the person giving me the compliment. I’m not sure how to overcome this feeling but I think I am getting better. I now say “Thank you” and then pay the other person a compliment.

Sheri said:

quote:

However, I'm noticing it more now and I try to stop myself as soon as I hear the tape start. Like...I drop something or make a mess and I hear myself start to say "What a &#^@ idiot you are." and I stop myself in mid-thought. It's a start.

This is a nice start for me - I think I'll try that, Sheri. What I do every day is I use the word stupid to describe things I've said, thought or done. I would never use that word regarding anyone else, ever ever ever! So why do I throw it around so freely about myself? I know the answer to that. I am going to start quitting it right now!

Lynne

quote:

Originally posted by cate:
How do you sabotage your self-image and how can you stop?

I tend to be on the clumsy and accident-prone side. I'm not always as careful as I should be (though I'm a lot more careful than I used to be thanks to learning the hard way from a variety of falls and injuries). When I do something clumsy or, say, burn myself in the kitchen, I am very mean to myself. I call myself an idiot and other such words that rob me of my self-confidence and good self-image.

I've improved a lot in beating myself up for food stuff in the past year, but I'm still terrible about berating myself for being clumsy/accident-prone. However, I'm noticing it more now and I try to stop myself as soon as I hear the tape start. Like...I drop something or make a mess and I hear myself start to say "What a &#^@ idiot you are." and I stop myself in mid-thought. It's a start.

ANy homework that hits one person isn't lame. I think this is a topic that we all work on. We just can't or won't accept that we are good people even though we have food issues. I don't take compliments well, I give them 100% of the time, but sluff them off, if they are about me. I put myself down when I gain, and sluff off the compliment of loosing. Today I go to my WW meeting expecting to gain, I deserve it and I'll take it. But will I let it get me down enough to leave and never come back. I am hoping I have the fortitude and strength to know that I am worth the goodness that healthy living gives me.

Good homework....thank you for sharing it, I needed to think about this today.

I too tend to compare myself to others without realizing that we all have totally different shapes/sizes. I focus on my "bad parts" and not on the good.

I think the only way to really stop this is to accept myself for who I am today and keep taking steps to improve myself.

Jill

I need to remember how much I've accomplished since I started. If need be, I can go back to my old drivers license, or my success story on the site. Both are clear examples of how much I've accomplished.

quote:

Originally posted by cate:
How do you sabotage your self-image and how can you stop?

I compare myself to others. I need to stop and accept my body type for what it is - short and athletic. I need to focus on the positives of all I've accomplished and not worry about my big legs.

quote:

Originally posted by cate:
have some moments of NSVs I still tend to feel fat.

Put on the size 8 bathing suit. That'll help you KNOW you are getting thin!