Besides working on my own goals (see other post), I am helping my 7 year old niece! A couple of weeks ago an unknown girl at her school asked my niece why she was so fat! We (My sister, mother, and myself) have been hit hard by such cruel comments of another child! My niece is overweight, but not much. She is actually very tall for her age so she looks bigger than the other kids (her grandparents were 6 1/2 - 7 ft. tall). Now my niece is watching everything she is eating. Over the weekend she was so picky about what she ate and worried about how she looked when we went out! She wants to exercise all of the time now! I don't want her falling into eating disorder mode (I am recovering so I know the signs well.) I want her to learn what is healthy for her. We are being very supportive and trying to help her out without being obvious so she doesn't feel more pressure. I just get so angry at children who are purposely cruel! My niece won't tell us who said this but we have our guesses. We want to protect her as much as we can, but also know that we have to teach her as well. It is just so darn frustrating!

Thanks for letting me vent! I am off to make some banana bread (with Splenda and am going to try to put some pumpkin in it to hide it) for my niece.

Beth

quote:

...why she was so fat!...

If you are interested, the below BMI-for-Age Growth Charts link might help you determine if she is/isn't overweight. (I haven't reviewed the contents myself.)

http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/growthcharts/training/modules/module1/text/contents.htm

You want cruel - one day mom insisted that I wear a yellow shirt to school, and the Phy Ed teacher referred to me as "butterball".

My dd is 8. She is now starting to notice if kids are skinny or fat or somewhere in between. I wonder if maybe this is sort of a natural process of learning about body size. As Denise said, mnay of us are socially akward.

I think of this as an opportunity to maybe learn about healthy eating habits- Sort of a skill building time.
I am not big into artificial sweeteners- especially not for dd.
I am generally amazed at the large quantity of food she eats and still stays very slim. We encourage "real" food- heavy on fruits, veggies and whole grains. We also move a lot as a family.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Sandy,

If another 7 yo asked your niece... it might just be lack of social skills or tact rather than cruelty...

My sil asks me dumb questions like that all the time. She isn't cruel... just doesn't think... and she is 45.

Personally, I don't think that making banana or pumpkin bread with Splenda for your niece is a great idea. Bread like that made with Splenda is still a lot of calories. You also don't want to send the message that when somebody hurts your feelings banana bread will help make it all better. You don't want to send a message that a loaf with 1500-2000 calories is a really good gift.

Just have good healthy meal meal with her and a piece of banana bread for dessert or a snack.

You can model eating vegetables, and fruit and protiens and treats like banana bread in moderation... IMHO.

Maybe her parents or you should talk to the guidance counselor at the school and get her in to talk to them. Sounds like she is developing behaviors that will lead to an eating disorder. I agree with everyone else, you are setting a good example for her. Give her lots of love too.
Jill

Probably the person who said that has a very weight-conscious family themselves. It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Kids are cruel. The thing is, if she loses weight and they want to pick on her, they will find something else. I was not overweight when I was a kid and I still got picked on for other things -- being small, being bookish and nerdy, my name, my clothes -- there are plenty of things kids will find to taunt you with. So maybe that would be another thing to talk with her about -- that it isn't your fault when someone picks on you, some people just go out of their way to be mean.

Kids really can be horrible : (

I agree with Mary Jo about being a great role model. Talk to your sister too about programming their home environment for success - healthy snacks, family exercise, etc....

Beth, How old is your neice? My daughter is 17. Just set for her a good example and encourage her. If she is in high school, maybe you can take her to a store like Lane Bryant and have an associate there give her some tips on dressing slimmer. If you teach her healthy habits and encourage her to be active, and if she goes out with great self confidence, you will help her tremendously.