We all have reasons and stories behind our weight loss successes. For me, it started as a vehicle to maintain my ability to ride roller coasters. But as I continue on to aiming for a healthy weight, I realized that if I'm going to continue to do this, it's going to be because I value myself. I consider myself important enough to warrant the discipline, effort, and time that it needs.

Then I started thinking about what I do (or don't do) for me because of how much I see myself as valuable, important, and worth the effort. And everybody else probably faces this issue in some way.

So today's homework is either going to be really easy, or really challenging, depending on where you are with your self image.

Find some way to tell yourself that you are valuable. It can be a reward for what you've accomplished this week, it can be a "clean sweep" of something that you wanted done but haven't managed to do, or something else that tells you that you're valuable. Then figure out how to keep doing that for yourself as you continue on this weight loss journey.

For me, it's been several things. Instead of continuing to exercise in shoes that are way past their lifespan, I'm going after work today to buy a new pair. I am important enough to myself to take care of me a little bit. I'm going to take a myself coastering tomorrow. It's been almost two weeks since I've seen one. I'm going to clear out my schedule to one or two commitments a week, the rest of the time is going to be mine. And finally, I'm going to stop mentally beating myself up over the whole candy bar's worth of caramel turtle calories that I ate last night. They were good, very, very good...but the icky feeling that I had because I knew I ate too many wasn't taking care of me.

My before the end of summer goal is to have a massive clean sweep of my house and one big old yard sale. (I'm sorely tempted to just set a match to the whole house, but I don't think that my insurance company, nor my husband, would be too happy. )

Have a Happy Me Day!
Laura

quote:

---

Originally posted by Peascod:
after I got used to doing things alone, it was actually fun

---

I agree! But most of our society does not see it that way. Since most people do not feel comfortable "going it alone," they think that anyone who is eating alone or going to the movies alone is doing so because they have no other choice (i.e., they have no friends). Because THEY would not enjoy doing these things alone, they assume that no one else could possibly find it enjoyable. But, like you, I've found otherwise.

I had a humbling experience in a restaurant one time a few years ago. I was eating lunch alone and enjoying a good book in a restaurant that I frequented at the time. I hadn't seen the gorgeous young waiter before and he was giving me a LOT of personal attention, to the point I thought it a little odd--NOT that I was complaining, of course! I figured someone had told him I was a regular who tipped well, and that's why I was getting extra attention.

At the end of the meal, the young man admitted that he felt sorry for me "having" to have lunch alone and that's why he spent time talking to me. I was offended BUT it was just another example of how this society views we solitaries...so I smiled patiently and explained that I have a very stressful job and that my lunches alone with a book are a peaceful oasis in my day--something I find quite pleasant--and there was no need to feel sorry for me. He looked at me like I'd just explained the theory of relativity--he was genuinely puzzled by my reaction. I guess I was supposed to have been thankful that he was saving me from myself? LOL

Sorry for going on so long, but this is one of those issues that does tend to get me up on my soapbox from time to time.

quote:

---

Originally posted by SheriaVa:
I have been to the movies countless times by myself, have eaten out alone hundreds of times, and have even gone on vacation alone (only to the beach). I know, however, from talking to many people that going to the movies alone or eating out alone is something many folks would NEVER feel comfortable doing,

---

I feel like you as well, I have actually grown to love going to movies alone...it feels like an escape, I can totaly get involved in the movie without having to interact with anyone else...I think, for me at least, that after I got used to doing things alone, it was actually fun...almost like an adventure in self indulgence. To go out to a resturant solely for yourself.

jackie

quote:

---

Originally posted by cobismom:
for the first time in my life, I am going to a movie alone this weekend. I have never been to a movie all by myself. That is valuing my need to do things for me....not just because I have someone who needs me to do it for them.

---

This is SUCH a marvelous thing to hear you say, Cathy!! I will admit to worrying about you when your son left for college because it seemed you were only valuing yourself as a Mom and not seeing that you are so much more than that (though being a Mom is a fabulous thing in itself!).

Being a person who is very comfortable being alone (and actually requires alone time), I have been to the movies countless times by myself, have eaten out alone hundreds of times, and have even gone on vacation alone (only to the beach). I know, however, from talking to many people that going to the movies alone or eating out alone is something many folks would NEVER feel comfortable doing, so I think it represents a great step forward that you're going to do that for yourself!!

Enjoy your movie!!!

Good for you, Cobismom. It took me a long time to get comfortable with going anywhere by myself. I don't go to movies often, but I do eat in restaurants (especially in the summer when travelling) by myself frequently.

I'm sure you'll do great as you keep searching for you.

Laura

I confess I am a sell out. I do not value who I am or what I do. I haven't been able to do that for a long time...at least two years since my last job sent me packing due to ugly politics. I am trying very hard to find out where I fit now, what my purpose in life is supposed to be. My kids are grown, although, they are still at home, but need me less and less everyday. I have been investigating school, (I love learning new things) work, volunteering, etc. but I am not willing and very afraid of getting involved in a situation like I was in before.

I am not hopeless though, part of my healthy program is valuing me. I take the time to plan my meals, do the diabetic things that I have to learn to do, to swim, to talk myself in to believing in my power to be terrific. I have taught myself into the mode of "I can do what I set my mind to do". I am a work in progress....who always put that at the bottom of their posts?

I am learning that I can be a valuable person without kids attached at the hip. That even though I love my husband dearly, I can venture out into the world without him. Please don't laugh at this, but for the first time in my life, I am going to a movie alone this weekend. I have never been to a movie all by myself. AND I think the last movie I was to, was a kids flick....that was a long time ago. That is valuing my need to do things for me....not just because I have someone who needs me to do it for them. I don't want to be political here, but GH Bush's parachute jump on his 80th birthday rather inspired me, when he said, "Just because you're 80, doesn't mean you're done". Well, just because I am XX doesn't mean I am done!

Thanks for the thoughtful assignment....it was a great one for me.

So ... I'm not sure if this would be a sign of me valuing myself, or just feeling like I've reached an important point in my life, or that I'm just plain *ready.* But today I decided to look again into getting a tattoo.

It's an idea I've toyed around with for a long, long time. In fact, I have carried around the same drawing for 6 years now. I have gotten an estimate on it twice. But I always change my mind, because of money, or the pain, or the committment.

The design is based on the ace of cups of the tarot, and indicates deep emotion, spiritual awakening, new-found joy, inspiration, and creativity.

Anyway, I hope to get *another* estimate this weekend, and I would like to get it done by my birthday, in August. Though it'll probably happen sooner.

What a great assignment. Thank you. This one I am going to have to think about...so watch for my post later today.

I said to someone the other day that I am barely recognizable (the person I am inside) from the 18-yo girl who moved from small-town Ohio to Washington DC 33 years ago. I wish I could say I was happy about all of those changes--I can't, but I AM happy about an awful lot of them.

One of the major positive changes in me is in the area of self-image. I had a pathetic self-image when I was young. I was pretty confident about my schoolwork and that I was relatively bright but, beyond that, my self esteem was in the toilet, as they say. It has taken me a lot of years to see that I am valuable whether I'm a size 20 or a size 6. That doesn't mean that I still don't have body image issues, but that I am just not held prisoner by them to the extent I was when I was younger.

As I've said before, as a single woman living alone, I don't have a lot of the challenges and drains on my time that most of you have. My time is mine outside of my 40 or so hours at work every week, so I don't HAVE to steal 10 minutes here to read a book or 10 minutes there to take a bubblebath. This board reminds me often how very lucky I am in that.

I believe that, if we keep ourselves open to it, we continue to grow and evolve as we age. Becoming a woman over 40 (and now over 50) has been quite an eye-opening experience. It has allowed me to come into my own, to know what I want and what I don't, and to not allow myself to be treated in a way that doesn't value or respect who I am.

I value myself every day that I plan my meals, buy healthy food, cook my lunches ahead, bring my lunch to work, get up early to exercise, and stay true to who I am as a person and as a woman. And I'm proud of that.