I saw a picture of myself today from our trip to NYC yesterday. And the picture may not be worth a thousand words, but, it is worth thousands of calories. I had a great time in New York, but when I saw the pictures I was devastated. The biggest reason I am so bummed is because I've been working out (and I mean pretty hard weight/cardio workouts) with my trainer for about 10 weeks. I will confess my eating for the last 2 weeks has not been the greatest, but I've been busting my A** at the gym and I feel like I look bigger than ever. I was so depressed tonight. I know I have to pair eating right AND exercise but I never realized just how much weight I've gained. I need to make a new commitment to getting healthy and fit.

On a separate topic-but still related to my appearance-I need to find a new hairdresser. My stylist of about 10 years seems to have lost her touch. She used to do a beautiful cut and color. Now, I feel like she is sending me back to the 80's. I asked for highlights-they look like that frosted look from way back when. I asked for a certain haircut and it turned out like Joan Jett's hair from, the 80's!! I am just so disappointed.

I have got to get back on track. I feel bad, I look bad, I am unhappy. I hate that my weight/hair, etc. controls my mood but honestly right now it does.

I know that I am going to have a hard time through the holidays. So, I am going to do the best I can and starting 1/1/2010, I am committed to a new me! Anyone interested in a challenge starting New Year's Day?

Jill

I'm glad you're feeling better. I had a somewhat similar experience. I just got back from Florida and a family visit. We took a picture where I'm wearing an outfit that I like, look good in, and thought the picture was really good.

Well, until I saw my runner's thighs striking their own pose. The way I was standing (trying to minimize my huge runners calves' appearance) twisted my legs around just enough to make my quads bulge out. Talk about enough to make you crazy.

But after some self talk, I can say I still look good, I know I have a large bone structure and can't do anything about it and how my muscles appear because of it, and I know that those quads and calves really give me a serious advantage in running half marathons and allow me to pass people left and right on hills.

After that, I was okay with the picture. And I'll admit to still being horrified by pictures of me taken before I started really working to lose weight. Thankfully there aren't too many of them.

Glad you are feeling better today, Jill.

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts! Iz-I do remember that and thank you so much!

I think I am feeling better today. I never like pictures of myself-and Catherine you are so right-a bad picture then makes me hate my hair/clothes/etc. I think the outfit I had on was not flattering either. But-I know that I need to really commit to getting to the gym regularly and work on healthier eating and portion control.

Jill

*hug*

Pictures are only so much of the whole. You have to look at where you've come from, too. And I know when I start feeling like I'm fat, then other things snowball and I hate my hair, my life, my body, everything (and it works the other way too). Use the feelings, but don't let them control you. Are you fitter than when you started? Can you do more in the gym? Sometimes it seems as if our bodies bulk up before they start smoothing down...

And you have to remember, often we, for whatever reasons, have a distorted image of what we look like. I was just in a play with several cute women, whom my mind identified as skinny. But then when talking to them, at least one was my size, another is a size smaller... that made me think.

sending big hugs! I so relate. sometimes, i let a little thing bum me out, and it is an uphill climb to get back to a conent-place! UPHILL--no fun!

speaking of pitcure,s i was looking at People magazine this morning, and i thought of YOU!!! yes, YOU! remember when i told you i think you looked at like Mara Bello? Well, there was a feature on the past/present in People magazine. they did an interv iew with sybil shepard, and her daughter Clementine. boy, do they look a like? the minute i saw those checckbones, and the penetrating eyes--i thought--oh my God! That is Jill! so add both of the Sheperd women to the list of celebrities who look like you!

i don't resemble any celebrities. dd was watching ER stories on Discovery, and there was a stressed out looking very Chinese ER deoctor, and she said "mom, you are on TV!" (geez...thanks)

I am up for the challenge!

Big hugs, Jill. I can also relate to feel badly about a photo. More hugs...

I find that unless my eating is not in line, workouts don't keep my weight in check. Jeez! It is just so much easier to eat 500 calories than it is to burn it. Seems unfair at times!

I would be happy to join you in a challenge this January. It's always good for me to have a little push here.

How does that picture look compared to a year ago or two years ago?
I know I still hate the way I look in photos even though I have lost a lot of weight but then I go back and look at previous photos and it makes me realize that I have actually come a long way (but still have a long way to go).

I can so relate Jill. It was a picture of me on a beach in 2002 that started my whole journey for me. Take those negative feelings and turn them into powerful motivation and know that you are already doing great things for your body with your workouts.


Big, big hugs!

Count me in. My digestion is giving me grief again and I feel unhealthy and unwell.

I have to say one thing though: don't trust pictures. They will lay pounds and pounds on you. Instead, trust yourself, how your clothes feel on you, how your lifestyle makes you feel, etc. Your work at the gym does count.