LONG post warning… me thinking out loud…

I’ve been in a conversation with some people about people who are “naturally thin”. I really don’t think that “naturally thin” people exist.

I used to be “naturally thin” and it obviously didn’t make me immune to getting fat. I used to live a “naturally thin” lifestyle in my 20’s and didn’t have a car and didn’t have enough money to eat out so my calories balanced out kind of naturally. But when I moved and started driving a car and eating out, I started gaining weight.

I know some people who are “naturally thin” and are sort of like I was… they are potentially heavy people living thin lifestyles. And I know “naturally thin” people who are like me now… they are potentially heavy, but monitor their food and activity and weight.

Something posted by ChocolateLover kind of struck a chord with me and made me think of something. (I hope you don’t mind ChocLover… your not the first, last or only person to post something like this. I’ve posted my own dislike of exercise… )

quote:

Originally posted by Chocolate Lover:
I am addicted to chocolate and sweets. I admit it...I loathe exercise.

I was thinking, I wonder if when we label ourselves as “Sweet Addicts” or declare that “We HATE exercise” - it is sort of like we are identifying with fat-ness. And there is also an element of NOT identifying with thin people…

I don’t eat dessert every night. It is a “naturally thin” habit I grew up with. (Not to drop names or anything… but I know that KD has written that she doesn’t eat dessert every night… ) I know that not HAVING to have something sweet EVERY single day has been a tremendous help when it comes to losing and maintaining weight.

I can’t remember if I’ve posted this story on this board… I know I’ve posted it somewhere…

When I moved in with dh, we finished our first meal together and he said, “What is for dessert?” and I said, “Nothing… it is Wednesday night… People don’t eat dessert on Wednesdays.” "My mom served dessert every night." "No way?!?!?!"

He had grown up with dessert every night and we only had dessert once or twice a week in my house. I know that not expecting or craving dessert every single night really contributed to my being “naturally” thin. It has also been a HUGE help with losing and maintaining weight.

I think that I learned it when I was a kid. I don’t “naturally” dislike dessert… I LOVE desserts! But for a MOST part of my adult life, I haven’t been able to afford dessert every night. In my 20’s and 30’s, I couldn’t afford it financially. And in my 30’s and 40’s, I haven’t wanted to spend calories on dessert every night.

And in an odd way, for MANY years it just didn't really occur to me to eat dessert every night. I didn’t know anybody who did eat dessert every night. Actually, people might think this is odd, but most nights it doesn’t occur to me to have dessert even now. I’m sure I learned that (albeit very young), I don’t think that it is something I was born with.

It is sort of like it NEVER occurs to me to get up and have a bowl of miso soup for breakfast, but if I grew up in Japan, it is probably be one of the things I might make for breakfast.

We have brownies in the freezer last night, but it never occurred to me to eat them last night after dinner. In my mind, they are for the weekend. It would be like eating miso for breakfast. In my mind, that is something you eat before dinner.

So that is a “naturally thin” habit I have that has really worked to my advantage. I also know that it is possible to break “fat” habits and acquire habits of the “naturally thin” - since I’ve done that… Driving thru for breakfast everyday is a “fat” habit. Eating oatmeal is a habit of somebody who is thin….

Anyway… I know that a LOT of weight loss happens in our heads… and it occurred to me that by perhaps declaring ourselves “Sweets addicts” (or a McBreakfast addict) and identifying with other behaviors that are consistent with weight gain - that we are somehow erecting a mental weight loss/maint. barrier. Like declaring, "I'm a McBreakfast addict. This is me - this is who I am - I eat McDonalds for breakfast and will go into withdrawl if I don't - therefore I refuse to consider giving this habit up."

Ahh the naturally thin

Personally, I think a lot of those who are thin and can eat whatever they want is partly psychological. They eat when they are hungry, they stop when they are full. Some of my thin friends eat like birds, and can skip meals and it is no big deal. I just think the attitude about food is different in many of them. I know it is different from mine....I would not dream of voluntarily skipping a meal or cleaning my plate!

Robin

I think it's ironic that several people I've known who I've thought of as "naturally thin" are definitely not people who I would look up to as healthy examples. Some of them stay thin in part because they partake heavily of nicotine and caffeine.

Because I work for an agency that employs a lot of nutritionists, there ARE quite a few examples there of people to look up to as an example of what healthy living looks like. Most of them are quite thin but I don't know them well enough to know whether they've always been that way.

I remember being at the snack bar one morning a few years ago and a thin person I knew from my workplace was in line next to me. I commented to her about what I had ordered, I think, and then said something about it being easier for her, being thin. She laughed sarcastically and said something like "I wouldn't be thin if I ate what I wanted. I choose not to eat that."

I don't remember the exact conversation anymore but the feeling I was left with remains...it was the first time I ever considered that a thin person might have to work at being thin. I guess I'd always assumed that, if you're thin, you were born that way and you eat whatever you want. It was an eye-opening moment for me.

I still struggle with jumping to those conclusions. When my new employee walked in for the interview, she was SO skinny and I thought "Oh Lord, she can probably eat anything she wants." On her first day, when I took her out to lunch, I found out she was maintaining an 85-pound weight loss for 2 years.

Ya just never know!

I’ve been thinking (again!).

I’ve seen people post on the WW lifetime board that they are so uncomfortable with themselves thin. And I couldn’t identify and couldn’t understand because I felt sooooo much better thin … and then I sort of had this flash of - Wow. I’ve been thin most of my life… and I feel like “myself” when I’m thin. There is a whole group of people who have been heavy all their lives and this is their first experience being thin. I can see how some people may be uncomfortable and not feel like themselves.

I basically think of myself as a “thin” person. I don’t know if I’d go so far to say that I’m “naturally thin” now, but I was as a kid and teen. I fundamentally view my SELF as a thin person. I think that this has been a tremendous advantage when it comes to losing weight. I gained weight as an adult. I had the experience of being thin for many years. I KNEW that it was both possible to lose weight and maintain the loss. I usually viewed being fat as temporary. Every so often, I’d worry that I’d never lose weight… but way deep down, I knew that it was possible.

I’ve thought recently about how my experience as a “naturally thin” child, teen and young adult was very different from somebody who grew up heavy. We were very active as kids. We walked and rode bikes. We did sports. We took active vacations. We basically had healthy eating habits. We had treats in moderation.

And then I had this OMG! Moment about childhood obesity and the increase on a National Level. We are going to have a whole generation of people that don’t think of themselves as “thin”. They are going to identify themselves as “naturally heavy”. And I just thought, that has to be significant - especially on a national level. To have a major sized group of people who may very well consider themselves genetically fat… and may doubt that it is even possible for them to lose weight and keep it off. They won’t have the experience of being thin. Won’t have a lifetime of good habits to fall back on and will also have a life time of poor habits firmly entrenched. WOW!

And in a way, this “naturally heavy” self image isn’t even true. Most kids today are not “naturally heavy”. My son was obese. His genetics didn’t make him heavy. He was heavy because we ate out all the time and he was eating two or three times as many calories as he needed. We see that with many of his friends. His BMI is about 18 now. He looks naturally thin, but he really isn’t - he just has better habits.

There is a SkinnyDaily post… it is tongue in cheek… Top 10 tips for gaining weight.

http://www.skinnydailypost.com/archives/2003_11_05_skin..._archive.html#000064

One of the tips for gaining is: Identify with fatness. I never really knew what that meant… but I kind of have a glimpse now, maybe.

I definitely think that people have different body types and there are people who have an easier time staying thin than others. I think that a natural tendency toward being bigger/taller can turn into a true weight problem because of the attention that is often focused on it.

I see this in family photographs from a time before fast food when people did more physical labor -- people in my family still tended to be large. If you look at athletes in different sports, you can also see this.

I do agree that anyone can be overweight no matter what their genetics and everyone can make the best of what they have. This doesn't mean super-thinness for most of us.

I think that just like people are different in height, hair color, eye color, and all that, people naturally tend toward various weights/sizes. Genetic diversity is a positive thing in a biological sense but we turn it into a negative by believing that everyone should fit a certain ideal.

I know a couple of people who I would classify as naturally thin. Both eat like horses and are very thin (and don't exercise).

However, I think they are the exception. Most of the thin people I know work at it or live lifestyles that support being fit and thin.

I agree with so much of what has been said. In my circle of friends, there is one person who seems to have the ability to stop eating when he is full. This is a trait he has had to work at when he was young and now it is just a habit. I have another friend who is "naturally thin" and she eats whatever she wants (usually junk), but works out all the time and is always on the go. I can not think of one person I know thin or not that is naturally that way. Publically or privtally they all seem to have to work on their lifestyle.

quote:

Originally posted by GoingSkiing:



Anyway… I know that a LOT of weight loss happens in our heads… and it occurred to me that by perhaps declaring ourselves “Sweets addicts” (or a McBreakfast addict) and identifying with other behaviors that are consistent with weight gain - that we are somehow erecting a mental weight loss/maint. barrier. Like declaring, "I'm a McBreakfast addict. This is me - this is who I am - I eat McDonalds for breakfast and will go into withdrawl if I don't - therefore I refuse to consider giving this habit up."

Denise,
I appreciate this thought (and the whole post)--- I have more to say, but dd needs to go to school.

Denise,
I agree so much with what you are saying. I don't think that people are naturally thin either; they develop habits and lifestyles that make then thin.
Ceratainly some people have thinner looking builds and/or better metabolisms, but every thin person I have met and talked with works at it.

I was subbing this week and there was an enourmous spread of goodies in the lounge. I went down with another teacher- she offered me some cheesecake. I declined. She said, "you can afford to eat it. You are thin." I said, " I am thin becuase I don't often eat it."

I believe that some people naturally have a higher metabolism than average (and some people a lower metabolism). I have a "niece-in-law" who is naturally thin. She and I are the same age and she basically weighs the same thing she did in high school. She gave birth to one child but within 1 month of giving birth you couldn't tell it.

She isn't tomboyish and has a petite build...She may be around 5'4". She always has been an athletic person though. Her muscles are well defined and she "seems" to be able to build muscle more easily than the average woman.

quote:

Anyway… I know that a LOT of weight loss happens in our heads… and it occurred to me that by perhaps declaring ourselves “Sweets addicts” (or a McBreakfast addict) and identifying with other behaviors that are consistent with weight gain - that we are somehow erecting a mental weight loss/maint. barrier. Like declaring, "I'm a McBreakfast addict. This is me - this is who I am - I eat McDonalds for breakfast and will go into withdrawl if I don't - therefore I refuse to consider giving this habit up."

Yep and I think that falls in line with the "all or nothing" attitude too. You don't have to GIVE UP what you love, just make better choices with portions, portions per week, healthier options & so on.

There was a fellow on Oprah last week (the show w/Kirstie Alley) who lost mega pounds by still eating all the foods he loved but by fixing them in a more healthy way. For example, he loved pizza but would make his own lighter version with lots of veggies. This fellow had been overweight practically ALL of his life. They showed pics of him in school. I'm not sure how old he is now, maybe mid to late 20's but he was able to loose a lot of weight by making better choices but not giving anything up.

For my entire life living at home with my parents, my mom made desert every night. She also put cut up fruit on the table every night after dinner. Somehow, the fruit habit never caught on for me, but the desert did. I think I menitoned once that if I hear the theme song to I Love Lucy, I can smell chocolate.

I do know a naturally skinny person. Actually, I know two. My husband is one. He always has been. He is not "skinny" but very fit. Now, he is one to be very active. He is 40 and in the 20 years I have known him, he has never struggled with his weight. As I mentioned, his brother does. His younger brother is just plain thin, doesn't work out and never has dieted. 3 boys, same parents, raised on the same foods, just different body types.

Another naturally thin person is a girl I have know equally as long as my husband. She has never exercised, or dieted. Always been thin.

OK, so maybe I know three. Another girl I have known about 20 years and who has had children. Very thin. Never exercised, never dieted. Her sister is about 70 pounds overweight.

There are naturally thin people. These are the people who have trouble understanding those of us who struggle.

PS, I still eat chocolate pudding every night. Only now, I buy Jello fat free or sugar free. I am much too lazy to make it anyway. But after the kitchen is all cleaned up and the kids are in bed, I just want it.

I had never thought of this before.
I don't usually plan a desert when we eat at home. I guess it is because we did not always have a desert when I was growing up. When we did it was usually something with fruit.

However, when we go out to eat I always look at the desert menu. I don't always order a desert but that is more of a financial decison than anything else. To me,desert just seems to go with eating out more than eating in.