Today is DH's and my ninth anniversary. He joked with me before the wedding that he would always remember our anniversary -- "Mayday! Mayday!"
So today, May Day, I thought I'd ask (in lieu of regularly scheduled homework) what do you need help with most right now? What is the biggest emergency, crisis, difficulty, or stumbling block that you're facing? And how can your friends here on the board help you with it?
Jill - URGH! It's so discouraging to hear that in todays day and age, the school isn't taking these types of threats more seriously.
Good for you for taking your concerns to the next level.
I wouldn't let it go either!
summer 7 challenge goals: - Meditate every day - Start the day with positive imagery and self talk Out of our beliefs are born deeds; out of our deeds we form habits; out of our habits grows our character; and on our character we build our destiny.
jill, i feel your indignation and i definitely empathize. you are doing the right thing.
a word from your friend the lawyer---write everything down. not just the letters you intend to send, but write in a journal your experience/impressions/feelings while your memory is fresh.
Goals: 1. Stop thinking like a chronic dieter and start living to inspire. 2. HALT (hungry, anxious, lonely, tired) I will stop and tune in with myself should I experience these things, and respond with something healthy. 3. One word 2008: courage 4. Eat slow and mindfully.
Update on my dd: I called the VP at the school this morning. He was not in, got a major attitude from his secretary. I asked to speak with the peer mediation counselor and the response was "there are 4 of them so which one was it" in a very rude tone. The VP finally called me back at 4PM. He was awful. He made me feel like my dd was the problem. He said the other girl is the one who always gets picked on and she was just responding to what she went through. I asked why, if he felt is was "no big deal" in his words, why my dd was out of class for 4 periods working it out. He said "well I don't know if that is true but if you say so I'll take your word for it". What an arrogant A**!!! He said, had he felt it was important he would've called me!! Hello-my child was threatened and he feels it was "not important"! I told him that am appalled at the behavior of the school and if anything like this ever happens again and I am NOT notified I will go straight to the superintendent. He was so unbelievably arrogant, and passive, I cannot believe this man is responsible for my child, and other children! The girl was not in school today. I don't know why but dd thinks maybe the school notified her parents. So, why did they not notify me? She told me she feels safe, and I trust her judgment. I trust in my friend who is a teacher at the school and said that she will watch over my dd. I am terribly dissatisfied with the vice principal. My friend who works at the school said to not expect much from this guy and she is surprised that he even called me back today. She said he is full of himself and feels that parent intervention when not requested by him is a waste of his time. I plan to send a letter to the school board AND the superintendent about this man. This is a very large school with more troubled kids than they know what to do with. But, how does a kid get threatened and no one says anything about it to the parents? I feel a little better now that she is through today and all is well. But, what about next week? I hate that this man is so passive and really feels it is no big deal. It took all I had not to tell him what an A**hole he is! He refused to tell me what was written in the note. He said he knows how to handle kids and if he felt I needed to know he would've called me!! OMG-how does he get to decide what i need to know? When my dd was in kindergarten many years ago I knew if she any little thing happened, no matter how minor-a cut on her finger, a sniffle from her nose, etc. I know this is high school, not 5 yr old stuff, but as her mom,I deserve to know anything that is brought to the VP and peer mediation! Especially a direct threat to her face. I am not done with this! I plan to have this vice principal "looked over" because he handled this so poorly.
Jill
Summer Challenge Goals: 1) Walk 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week 2) Plan weekly menus
Jill, I have only a small bit of time, but wanted to say that i am sorry about what's happening at school.
Schools are was over extended. Still, you NEED to know that your daughter is safe at school. Period.
Vice prinipals are generally in charge of discipline. I'd make myself a regular customer in his office or on the phone- like 1-2 times per week just to check in.
I would also talk to the security staff. (I assume she's in middle or HS where they have regular security officers.) Find out what you can and make yourself a regular customer there. The more you show up the more aware of the situation they are. Remember that there is most likely not enough staff to deal with all the problems. Things fall through the cracks. They have to.
You can show up at times you dd will not see you -- of course you don't want to embarrass her. It may also be that phone calls work.
In my experience, when stuff like this happens, there is often more to the story than you hear. This might run deeper or in a different direction than you realize. I hoep you keep talking to your daughter.
I also encourage you to talk to staff about SPECIFIC ways to keep her safe. Does she need an escort to the RR or to classes? How about after school? Can she change her routes? Stuff like that.
Obviously I do not know the kid who threatened her, but there are limits on what the school systems can do in these instances. If the person who threatened her has speical needs documented, there are often times additional limits on what school officials can do.
I really encourage you to communicate in clear, specific ways. I know this an emotional situation, but dealing with facts and plans will help you both get through this.
Take care.
1. Eat per plan each day 2. Give myself credit each day 3. Exercise 45 minutes/day 5 days/week
It's not like I don't know what goes on at school. I had my share of cr*p. It's just that I worked hard to put that behind me, only now, with children of my own, I have to go through all that again - and although I'm older, I'm every bit as helpless, or so it feels.
There's a girl in dd's (8yo) class who's been giving everybody grief since day 1. Last year my dd was sick to her stomach for months because of that kid. This year dd has been left alone by the psychobrat but others haven't. Two days ago I learned through grapevine that the other kid is going to be at the same school day camp as my kids are (3 wks in June). I can't stand it. I know how she operates and what she does. This might ruin three weeks of dd's summer, but I can't pull my kids from camp unless we have a good Plan B - both dh and I work in June. Working from home isn't an option for that long (I usually work from home once a week and on some school holidays, but my output isn't as good as on office days). In addition, the kid will be in the same after-school program as dd next year. The school is well aware of her behavior but apparently they can't kick her out. <sigh>
1. Moderate exercise and PT exercises 2. Avoid sugar 3. Positive thinking ****************** “The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.”
Hugs to you all! It's always so inspiring to see how my friends display so much strength and courage in the face of all that life can hand us sometimes.
Jill I would be LIVID that the school didn't contact me. If you don't get good answers from the principal, go to the superintentent.
In my limited experience with our school system, that seems to be the only way anything ever gets done.
summer 7 challenge goals: - Meditate every day - Start the day with positive imagery and self talk Out of our beliefs are born deeds; out of our deeds we form habits; out of our habits grows our character; and on our character we build our destiny.
jill, you are validated in your concerns. i can udnerstand dd not wanting to make a big deal out of things. my dd is the same way. but we as adults know from our vast life experience what can happen when things get out of hand. i am appalled and enraged that her school did not bother to contact you. WHat is up with THAT? i would go to the school today and immediately let my feelings be known.
i saw the news coverage about that girl who was lured to a friend's house, and she was jumped and beaten viciously by a group of "friends" I almost got sick watching the viciousness of the beating. unfortunately, this is our potential as human beings.
my dd has been bullied by some girls (very wealthy girls) (and we are not wealthy , believe me). so for no apparant reason, these girls throw things at my dd. dd has begged me to transfer her to another school. i guess i am naive but i am still amazed at how cruel people can be.
jill, you are not overreacting. do what feels right in your heart. your dd may think she handled things and everything is fine. but if your gut tells you otherwise, take the action you need to take. i am right behind you!
Goals: 1. Stop thinking like a chronic dieter and start living to inspire. 2. HALT (hungry, anxious, lonely, tired) I will stop and tune in with myself should I experience these things, and respond with something healthy. 3. One word 2008: courage 4. Eat slow and mindfully.
This could not be more timely. Here is what I am dealing with right now, and it is a very big deal. I found out from a friend (whose daughter goes to school w/and is good friend's with my daughter) that today during school a threat was made against my daughter and that she and 3 others spent most of their day in peer mediation. My dd did not tell me about it when she got home AND the school never called to notify me there was a problem! I sat dd down and we talked about what happened. She is a naive kid who believes and wants to see the best in people and feels that everything is just fine now, they "worked it out". And maybe they did. But, I will be going to the school tomorrow and discussing w/the vice principal and the peer mediator not only what happened but why no one bothered to call me. This whole thing is over a boy! My dd is good friends with this boy. The other girl likes him and wants to date him but he apparently is not interested. She apparently is jealous of my dd and threatened her directly. I am terrified. I don't even want her to go to school tomorrow. The other girl should have been suspended. My friend who told me what happened is a substitute at the school. She said they kid should have been out of that school immediately. She said this is not something handled in peer mediation and also said that she is not surprised that the administrators did not call me. She said they just don't follow through. I plan to make sure that I get the point across that when it comes to my child they WILL follow through!! It bothers me too that my dd sees this as no big deal and I am freaking out over it. She has grown up learning to be fair to others and to give people the benefit of the doubt-maybe to a a fault because now she is super-trusting of people and feels that because they talked in the hall on the way back to class that they are "cool". I told her that this girl may have just told peer mediation what they wanted to hear and was just being nice as a "front". Maybe I"m too suspicious?
Jill
PS: The threat was something like "You don't want to know what I want to do to you right now"-in response to my dd asking her if she did something wrong that this girl was mad at her, and another friend heard the word "dead"!! I am scared to death!
Summer Challenge Goals: 1) Walk 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week 2) Plan weekly menus
oh diana, i am so sorry. good thing you are getting some distance.
i know you will be stellar with GRE.will be thinking of you a lot. don't pressure yourself. just breathe and allow your smarts to take over.
go diana go!!!
Goals: 1. Stop thinking like a chronic dieter and start living to inspire. 2. HALT (hungry, anxious, lonely, tired) I will stop and tune in with myself should I experience these things, and respond with something healthy. 3. One word 2008: courage 4. Eat slow and mindfully.
GRE is tomorrow; I've been hitting ~90% of the verbal questions right on practice tests, but only ~60% on the quantitative (math). Scores are calculated based on how everyone else does, so I'm pressuring myself to do really, really well.
That, and my govt boss has decided I should be on the "emergency" team at work. That means I'm supposed to be ready, at any moment, to up and leave for SIX MONTHS. I'm fighting it as politely and within the system as I can...she reasons that I "don't have a family to take care of." Hearing that, on top of the GRE stress, has pushed nearly every button I have, and I left early today just so I wouldn't politely and calmly say, "Hey. F you, every single one of you," which I've wanted to do for about two weeks straight now. I'm supposed to pack only what I can carry--oh, but I'm also supposed to be prepared to be in a foreign country where I'd need to wear long sleeves and not-tight pants FOR SIX MONTHS...OR...only an hour or two away. Oh, and I need to bring my medical records. And a laptop if I have one. And copies of important papers. WTF? I do NOT need this, and as soon as the GRE's over tomorrow, I'm finishing the update to my resume. "Don't have a family." Gosh, I'm SO sorry I don't fit into the stereotypical married-with-2.3-kids-and-a-dog "Family" that everyone else has. But you're right, the co-worker who recently married a woman he's known for wife for less than SEVEN MONTHS needs a pass so he can be around "for his wife", even though they're both over 50 and perfectly functional adults, and the unmarried SERVICEMEMBER whose main function is to be ready for these sorts of things should absolutely be left off the list, along with the OTHER servicemember whose SPOUSE is on HIS team's emergency list. <insert loud, creative cursing>
So, um, I guess I need some stress relief. And someone to pay for all the records I have to make copies of, and the visas I have to get from various foreign countries "just in case." Geeeez. I have GOT to get out of there before it gets worse. I have all day tomorrow off, except for the hours of the GRE, and Saturday I'm going shopping, and I won't buy loose pants or long-sleeved shirts. I'm going to complete my resume update this weekend, too.
Erm, sorry. But thank you for the space to vent.
Challenge Goals: *10 minutes of unplanned exercise five times a week *Gym time twice a week *Socialize at least once every two weeks.
Oh, the fun we could have speculating on random thread titles...
Right now, I'd really like someone who's better at chemistry than I am to take my final on Monday morning. Cause I'm not doing so hot myself.
Everything else is at equilibrium (ie not causing upheaval or making me giddy with excitement): My house is cleaner than it's probably ever been (yay cleaning people), my dog is supposed to get a bath tonight (and I don't have to do it), my financial aid for next year is totally in order (whew!), and I'm done with 2 of my 3 classes.
I refuse to complain.
Life is like a roller coaster, with lots of ups and downs, but the curves, spirals, loops and corkscrews are what make life interesting.
My biggest problem right now is my creeping fear that there's something wrong with my health (this is either hypochondria or fact, but I don't know which...yet).
Other than that, things are pretty good right now. I've even been caught exercising... and I've dropped a pound or two.
1. Moderate exercise and PT exercises 2. Avoid sugar 3. Positive thinking ****************** “The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.”
Happy anniversary! Hopefully you have something fun planned to celebrate : )
My biggest challenge right now is setting boundary issues with my family and sticking with them.
Other than getting validation that it's OK for me to do this for my own sanity and self preservation, it's all up to me.
summer 7 challenge goals: - Meditate every day - Start the day with positive imagery and self talk Out of our beliefs are born deeds; out of our deeds we form habits; out of our habits grows our character; and on our character we build our destiny.
Whew!! From the title of the thread I thought YOU were having a major problem .
Right now my major problem is mother. I will soon be either in the nut house or in jail for murder.
As for weight related issues, I am frustrated by the fact that I am still not under 200. I know I have to have lost 30 or 40 lbs in the last 6 months but I am only 15 lbs smaller because the rest of it has been the same 4 lbs over and over. I have wobbled between 203 & 207 since December.
I have gone back thru past days on fitday to find meal plans with good numbers so I can recreate them. And I am now going to the Y as well as to Curves but that just started this week so it has not had time to show any results yet. The 10th is my "anniversary date" at Curves so I will get weighed and measured again on either the 9th or the 12th.
I know I will be getting in a lot of extra walking this month. I will be going to 2 indian festivals and the renfest.
1. do 4 laps on walking track without "resting" 2. do 1 mile (17laps) in 20 minutes (3miles per hour)
Posts: 3822 | Location: NE Atlanta (Chamblee, Doraville, Norcross, Duluth) | Registered: March 15, 2004
