This is usually a rather stressful time of the year for a number of reasons. All the activities, all the planning, all the decorating, all the guests and on and on. I was reading an interesting article on Prevention.com of ways to help you relax during stressful times.

Do you get stressed during the holidays? Why or why not? What keeps you from getting stressed and what are some ways that help you deal and relax?

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http://www.prevention.com/article/0,,s1-1-65-209-5560-1...h%20Joan%20Borysenko

Staying Centered with Joan Borysenko

Stress First Aid
How to find inner peace in mere minutes

Joan Borysenko, PhD


I was sitting at the computer writing this column when the pungent smell of wood smoke filled the room. It took me a minute to realize that the house was on fire and about 5 minutes more to locate the source of the flames. My husband, Gordon, attacked the boiler room with a fire extinguisher while I called 911. In another few minutes, the house was swarming with our tiny town's volunteer firefighters dousing the flames. We were filled with gratitude for their skill and courage, and for the evident grace that we were at home when the fire started, which saved the day.

To avoid being overwhelmed by tension, which I could feel building up in both my muscles and my mind, I turned to some immediate stress first aid--a glass of wine with friends who'd come to help. But later that evening and over the next few days, I relied on several quick fixes for daily hassles that are based on the solid science of the mind-body connection. These temporary measures don't replace making needed changes in your life, such as having a solid nutrition and exercise program or taking an overdue vacation, but they do come in handy in a pinch.

Soothe yourself through music.
The number one thing most people around the world do when they're stressed-out is listen to music, reports a poll by Roper Starch Worldwide. And with good reason. Right now, I'm listening to a Mozart piano sonata, a strategy that research suggests may not only increase my spatial reasoning--a form of intelligence crucial to problem solving--but may also reduce my stress. Raymond Bahr, MD, a cardiologist at St. Agnes HealthCare in Baltimore, found that for his cardiac patients, listening to classical music for 30 minutes produced calming effects equivalent to a 10-mg dose of Valium.

Breathe through your belly.
Breathing is the ultimate portable stress buster--if you do it right. When I realized that the house was on fire, I started to breathe erratically, holding my breath and making up for the resulting oxygen deprivation by taking quick, shallow gasps of air. Research demonstrates that heart rate increases with shallow breathing, creating feelings of anxiety--something you don't need more of when you're superstressed.

Fortunately, all it takes to lower your heart rate and calm you down is slow, rhythmic belly breathing. To shift from anxiety breathing to relaxation breathing, blow out all the breath in your lungs (like a big sigh). Then focus on a point about 2 inches below your navel, in the center of your body. Inhale, imagining taking air all the way to that center and feeling your entire belly expand. Then breathe out slowly from that same place. You'll feel your belly flatten. Do 10 of these breaths and let each exhalation relax your body a little more.

Let your muscles go.
Whenever I'm stressed-out, I hunch my shoulders and start to frown. I look like Quasimodo in drag and could easily frighten babies. Worse still, the physical sensation of tensed muscles ramps up our anxiety and negative thinking, feeding a vicious cycle of escalating stress.

We can stop that cycle with a few muscle-releasing stretches. Start with three to five shoulder shrugs: Inhale while you tense your shoulders and lift them toward your ears; then exhale as you drop them and let yourself relax. To release tight neck muscles: Lower your chin slowly to your chest for five breaths, letting your head relax and droop a little bit more with each exhalation.

Laugh.
If you're laughing, it's hard to hold on to stress. Your facial muscles get a natural workout that relaxes them. A Loma Linda University study showed that even the anticipation of laughing at a funny video significantly decreased men's stress. Other studies found that laughter can boost immunity, reduce pain and stress, and even lower the incidence of repeat heart attacks in patients who watch 30 minutes of funny videos daily.

Put on a happy face.
Research by retired psychologist Paul Ekman, PhD, at the University of California, San Francisco, has given new life to the old question, "If you're so happy, why don't you tell your face?" He learned that 40 percent of people have "smile muscles," and the act of smiling sends a message to your brain that you are happy. If you're one of the lucky 40 percent, an upward tug of those facial muscles changes your mood.

Whine (within limits).
This last quick-fix tool is more likely to appeal to women. Men call it complaining, but I call it debriefing and letting go. My friend and colleague, humorist Loretta LaRoche, calls it Power Whining. To practice it, call a friend and tell her that you're stressed and just need 2 minutes or so to unload. Her job is just to listen without interrupting. When you're done, reciprocate. When both of you are finished, wrap up with a 1-minute monologue each, describing the things for which you're most grateful.

It's this last bit that helps put everything into perspective by reminding you to be grateful for all the many things that aren't stressing you out. Like, perhaps, the fact that your house didn't really burn down and that you have someone you love who loves you, good friends, and another day of life to appreciate all the beauty around you. Works for me.

Instant Chill Out Tips
Go to Loretta Laroche & Company and browse the selection of hilarious audiotapes and videos.

Keep a bottle of a pleasing aromatherapy scent handy. I like peppermint spray for freshness and clarity and lavender for relaxation. When you're stressed-out, spritz yourself. The olfactory structures of the brain that process smell are wired into emotional centers.

Check out the relaxing flute and harp music--with the sounds of nature--of Dean and Dudley Evenson at Soundings of the Planet. Musician Don Campbell, author of The Mozart Effect, and I compiled a CD of our favorite stress-busting classical music. It's called Inner Peace for Busy People, and you can look at the selections on Joan Borysenko's Practical Path to Wholeness.

quote:

Laura,
I it is really nice to hear you finally sound relaxed after the rough fall you had.

Dawn

Thanks, Dawn. But I have to admit that I'm almost afraid to get too comfortable & relaxed for fear of complete chaos hitting. It just sounds so silly to worry about nothing.

denise, i am with you. just going with the flow, and not buying into all the holiday commercialism has been a tremendous help.thanks for bringing it up.

I read a great book a number of years called Unplug the Christmas Machine.

It really helped a lot. I totally cut back on our gift giving. My family started pulling names. Dh LOVES shopping for ds... so I let him do it. I don't obsess about decorations. Some years we put lights on the house and some years we don't. Some years, the lights go up on Dec. 24th.

For some reason this was one area where I was able to let go of perfectionism very easily.

But not buying into the commercialism and letting go of unrealistic expectations has helped a LOT.

Oh, I forgot to put what I do to relieve stress:

I get massages every other week;
Drink herbal tea;
Take baths with either spa minerals or lavender bubble bath;
read;
cuddle with DS, DH and/or the cats (listening to my kitty purr really makes me feel calmer);
Talk to a friend, sometimes to vent, sometimes just to connect with someone;
Play games with DS;
Play games online;
and take a walk.

Dawn

My stress is not in my head, but in my body. I get achy and my right eye gets really, really red...it is so weird! I don't think I am stressed, but then I wake up with a red eye and achy shoulders

The sress begins with getting assesments done at school and then get report cards finished along with getting the science kit done before break and all the Christmas stuff I like to do. This year we are going on a field trip(next Tuesday) and I do a Holiday Luncheon with my class. Our last day is the 15th, but we haven't had school since Monday because of SNOW, ice and no power on the Island that I teach. Did I bring home schoolwork....nooooooo, so that is causing a little anxiety.

Getting enough exercise during the season is always a challenge. I have most of my shopping done, so that is good.

Dealing with DH's depression during the season is a stress too. He really doesn't like this time of year, so I have decided to do an advent calendar full of little surprises for him each day. I am hoping it keeps him "up" most of the time. He doesn't know I am doing it yet....hopefully it doesn't cause him any stress!

What I like to do to relax...
-hot baths
-drink a steamer (nonfat milk and sugarfree syrup)
-have a massage
-go tanning
-get together with girlfriends
-plan, plan, plan

steph, yoga is awesome!!! good for you!

quote:

Originally posted by Coaster Girl:
Some years I am really a mess. This year, I'm eerily calm. Thanks to Flylady (and Elsie, my cow timer) , I've got all my shopping done (online even), most of the presents are wrapped and sitting under the tree, my cards are signed & organized by family to be hand delivered, and I have a plan for cooking Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday.

After that I only need to show up with a dish or two at someone else's house for any other holiday gatherings. But I am confident enough to be willing to invite some friends for an informal New Years at our house.

All I need to do is finish one project for school and make it through finals and I am going to coast quite nicely into all the holidays.

Laura,
I it is really nice to hear you finally sound relaxed after the rough fall you had.

Dawn

Some years I am really a mess. This year, I'm eerily calm. Thanks to Flylady (and Elsie, my cow timer) , I've got all my shopping done (online even), most of the presents are wrapped and sitting under the tree, my cards are signed & organized by family to be hand delivered, and I have a plan for cooking Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday.

After that I only need to show up with a dish or two at someone else's house for any other holiday gatherings. But I am confident enough to be willing to invite some friends for an informal New Years at our house.

All I need to do is finish one project for school and make it through finals and I am going to coast quite nicely into all the holidays.

Deciding not to travel back to Indiana has really relieved a LOT of the stress of the Holidays for me.

Last year our Christmas day was actually really, really relaxing. We stayed in pajamas all day, even through our nice dinner. Then we all piled into our bed to watch "Madagascar".

Thinking about having another Christmas like that actually makes me not feel so stressed.

We do have a lot of parties coming up, but those don't really stress me out. I like parties, even DH's company party. (I think I have more fun than he does.)

The one thing that is somewhat stressing me out is work. Being the end of the year, every one is stressing billable hours, billable hours, billable hours. Well at this point of the year, there's not a lot that can be done about it, yet the major tension is there.

Dawn

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Tayhudson,

I need and crave "down" (alone) time, so I make sure that's scheduled when it's needed (and I can tell when it's needed because I get snappy and grumpy with everything and everyone). If it means not staying until the end of a party, so-freakin-be-it. My well-being and ability to function has to take precedence over other people's expectations sometimes.

I get a massage every other week; I might up that to each week through December to keep myself in touch with how I'm feeling and how I'm physically negotiating the world. We've got a lot of people taking leave over the holidays, leaving the contractors (like me!) to do the bulk of the work, so I'll also need to take time each day to step outside and take a break from staring at a computer screen.

The holidays do seem to be a crazy time. I like to do holiday shopping all throughout the year. I have been doing this for several years and I have to say it really does help. I have most gifts already, but the rest won't take me too long to take care of.

I have subscribed to Bee's way of thinking. A few years ago there was a homework where she posted all the potential pitfall days and she planned for those. I have also done that for myself and I have found it works.

Also, since I have been on a pretty new routine for my days, I have really noticed a difference when I know I can get my workout completed before 10am during the week.

Lastly, my weekly Yoga classes always allows me to focus on me for those 90 minutes.

yes, i do get stressed. thanksgiving is when the step kids visit and sometimes, it brings up issues, like them never accepting me, or pretending i don't exist. most of those issues are in the past, but sometimes, the past sneaks up on me. but this year, i did not feel those old wounds. most of the stress was just orchestrating the many many things that had to get done, and the guests who were coming in and going out, and the multiple birthdays to celebrate during that week. just too much stuff, that is all. the eating (the excessiveness!!) is also stressful, but i really felt this year, being on this forum was so so helpful. you all had such great tips and then there was all the glorious cheerleading and support--wow! it helped a great deal.
christmas is my birthday, which is kind of a downer for me. again, old wounds come up. two years ago was tough. last year was less tough. i am hoping this year will be a breeze. also, i already asked to go out to eat, so i don't have to compound an emotional day with exhaustion from cleaning and cooking. as far as holiday parties and excessive eating, i am using tips from you all about planning, planning, planning.
exercise is a wonderful release for me. my mind feels sharper, and i feel emotionally balanced after i exercise, so i plan to keep it up every day (this is my goal). Also, i have asked 3 friends to do a week-long "bootcamp" with me (starting dec 4th) when we will all keep a journal, exercise together, and do at least one day of "fruits and veggies only" to clean out the holiday eating from our pipes (so to speak). we are going to see how it goes, and if we are game, we will try to add another week and so on. as for overall restoration, slow yoga with deep breathing is a God-send. Singing really loud in the car is a favorite pasttime. have a blessed week!

quote:

Do you get stressed during the holidays? Why or why not? What keeps you from getting stressed and what are some ways that help you deal and relax?

Yes, the holidays stress me out for a variety of reasons.

I'm always a bit blue with missing my son and this year, my mil. That always causes a lot of angst for me because of wanting to be happy and joyous for dd.

I also stress about the shopping, all the holiday cards, etc... I hate crowds and avoid malls at all costs. I was so excited when e-shopping started!

Lastly, I do stress more about my food because we always have holiday parties, dinners and events to go to. Starting this weekend, we already have 8 events before x-mas (and there will probably be more added to the mix).

What I do to try to keep from gettings stressed is to plan, plan, plan. I get my holiday shopping and my cards done before Thanksgiving. Not having to deal with that during an otherwise crazy December is really helpful.

I also plan which events will be worth spending calories on, try to stay "clean" the rest of the time and then have a game plan for the other outings so I know what I'm going to eat.

As for dealing with stress when it comes, I try to post here, journal, soak in the tub, get enough sleep and exercise as much as I can.

The exercise piece really helps me tremendously in terms of centering myself and keeping me sane.