I'm always busy telling other people how to run their lives instead of paying sufficient attention to my own and, when they complain I feel badly about myself for doing it. Yesterday I "traded" my husband something I wanted for never "bugging" him again. Can't imagine how he got to be 62 years old without my help. Now I'll have to figure out how to convert my "concern" for his actions into paying more attention to my own. Not likely to happen overnight
I wish trying to change weren't "failure" when the inevitable boo-boos happen. I once read an article that asked "How many times do you let a baby fall when learning to walk? (or a kid learning to ride a bicycle) Do you pick him up after the first time and say, 'okay, that's it!' Of course now. You allow him to fall as many times as necessary until he learns to walk."
Whatever will satisfy hunger is good food -- Chinese proverb
Posts: 54 | Location: Rumsey Island, MD | Registered: March 24, 2006
Originally posted by cobismom: We just can't or won't accept that we are good people even though we have food issues.
I was reading the responses just now, and the above comment struck me. I beleive we have food issues because of the way we feel about ourselves. Yet we see ourselves as bad for having the food issues....
How timely! My carpooling buddy and I were talking about self image just this morning.
I too still think of myself as fat and I compare myself to others all the time. It has gotten better, but if I am having an off day then I slip and beat myself up in my head for being too heavy.
If I have gained a little and someone says I look great then I feel like a phoney (sp?) and want to say..."oh, if you only knew!".
How can I stop? Positive self talk. If I were to say something great about myself every morning in the mirror would I start believing it...truly believing it 100% of the time???
Kat
Goal: Exercise at least 3 times per week.
Remember the positives.
Get the munchies under control!
Posts: 1068 | Location: Mount Vernon, WA | Registered: July 03, 2005
What helps me accept compliments is thinking how I feel when I give them. I feel better after a thank you, but feel kind of silly when it gets shrugged off, or "this old thing." I don't want to take away others pleasure in giving.
I've also been practicing "acknowledging myself" so this is a great topic for me right now. I am trying to write 5 things I acknowledge myself in my journal every few days. It was really tough and foreign at first, but it's getting easier and more comfortable.
i.e. I acknowlege myself for choosing a banana instead of a brownie I acknowledge myself for fully focusing on my son as he talked to me.
This week my goals are to: 5 servings fruits and veggies Get to 6 am by the end of the week Exercise 5 days
Posts: 34 | Location: Michigan | Registered: February 28, 2006
I’m not good at accepting compliments either. They embarrass me and I sort of feel like if I accept it and just say “Thank you” then I am being arrogant or something. In the past I would make a joke about the compliment and shrug it off.
In reality I know that I am being rude IF I don’t thank the person giving me the compliment. I’m not sure how to overcome this feeling but I think I am getting better. I now say “Thank you” and then pay the other person a compliment.
However, I'm noticing it more now and I try to stop myself as soon as I hear the tape start. Like...I drop something or make a mess and I hear myself start to say "What a &#^@ idiot you are." and I stop myself in mid-thought. It's a start.
This is a nice start for me - I think I'll try that, Sheri. What I do every day is I use the word stupid to describe things I've said, thought or done. I would never use that word regarding anyone else, ever ever ever! So why do I throw it around so freely about myself? I know the answer to that. I am going to start quitting it right now!
Lynne
Posts: 1104 | Location: NH | Registered: February 28, 2005
Originally posted by cate: How do you sabotage your self-image and how can you stop?
I tend to be on the clumsy and accident-prone side. I'm not always as careful as I should be (though I'm a lot more careful than I used to be thanks to learning the hard way from a variety of falls and injuries). When I do something clumsy or, say, burn myself in the kitchen, I am very mean to myself. I call myself an idiot and other such words that rob me of my self-confidence and good self-image.
I've improved a lot in beating myself up for food stuff in the past year, but I'm still terrible about berating myself for being clumsy/accident-prone. However, I'm noticing it more now and I try to stop myself as soon as I hear the tape start. Like...I drop something or make a mess and I hear myself start to say "What a &#^@ idiot you are." and I stop myself in mid-thought. It's a start.
Rest of Summer Goals: 1. Exercise-Cardio: Min. 2-3 walking or DVD cardio workouts per week. 2. Exercise-Weights/Toning: Min. 1 weight plus 1 toning workout per week. 3. Food: Get those veggie servings back up to where they were! 4. Behavior: Start reducing sweets now that the automatic after-meal response is better.
Posts: 7212 | Location: Rehoboth Beach, DE | Registered: March 12, 2004
ANy homework that hits one person isn't lame. I think this is a topic that we all work on. We just can't or won't accept that we are good people even though we have food issues. I don't take compliments well, I give them 100% of the time, but sluff them off, if they are about me. I put myself down when I gain, and sluff off the compliment of loosing. Today I go to my WW meeting expecting to gain, I deserve it and I'll take it. But will I let it get me down enough to leave and never come back. I am hoping I have the fortitude and strength to know that I am worth the goodness that healthy living gives me.
Good homework....thank you for sharing it, I needed to think about this today.
Summer Challenge Goals:
1. Get out of the house and in the pool four days a week. 2. Schedule meals a week at a time. 3. five fruits and vegetables a day, along with water.
Posts: 3451 | Location: Central USA | Registered: March 11, 2004
I too tend to compare myself to others without realizing that we all have totally different shapes/sizes. I focus on my "bad parts" and not on the good.
I think the only way to really stop this is to accept myself for who I am today and keep taking steps to improve myself.
Jill
Summer Challenge Goals: 1) Walk 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week 2) Plan weekly menus
I need to remember how much I've accomplished since I started. If need be, I can go back to my old drivers license, or my success story on the site. Both are clear examples of how much I've accomplished.
Life is like a roller coaster, with lots of ups and downs, but the curves, spirals, loops and corkscrews are what make life interesting.
Originally posted by cate: How do you sabotage your self-image and how can you stop?
I compare myself to others. I need to stop and accept my body type for what it is - short and athletic. I need to focus on the positives of all I've accomplished and not worry about my big legs.
Out of our beliefs are born deeds; out of our deeds we form habits; out of our habits grows our character; and on our character we build our destiny.
moments of NSVs I still tend to feel fat.
