I posted this on a WW thread that I belong to... so some of it is a repeat of stuff I already posted here...

I went to a Disney Chaperone meeting last night. (mostly 13 & 14 year olds - 100 of them)

One part that I thought sad/interesting. There was some conversation that some of the kids need to be watched food wise. Some kids (mostly girls) won't eat because they are excited or picky eaters or "trying to look like a model" or don't want to eat in front of other people and some kind of peer pressure (if someone declares the “eggs look gross” some kids will not eat because they don’t want to hear, “Ewwww, you aren’t eating that stuff, are you?”

And then another group of kids will eat too much and get sick on the bus or a ride.

And then there is a whole thing with Starbucks… there is a Starbucks at the lunch stop fast food strip mall… and the kids will want to go there for “lunch”… but they won’t buy a sandwich, and they can‘t have coffee for lunch, but they would if we let them… and we are also starting a leg of the trip with a long “no bathroom” stretch… which is a whole other issue.

And then we have to remind them to stop eating about 10pm, because in the past, the kids eat junk all day at Disneyland and then get on the bus at midnight and get sick.

Very sad that part of the job of chaperone is that of food police.

Or on a more positive note, part of the job of chaperone is being their mom for the weekend... as they still need somebody to tell them what to do and that includes, "You have to eat a little breakfast..."

I wonder if food was an issue on Jr. High trips like this in days gone by.

The kids don't realize that we were talking about it last night... Maybe it isn't an issue in their minds, today.

I also posted on a thread a couple of weeks ago, where a mom (who was so happy and excited to have learned new habits at WW) said that she was going to start taking her toddler to WW meetings with her so that she could be exposed to healthy habits. And she was also going to stop buying ice cream and snack cakes.

I don’t know if I’d bring my daughter to a WW meeting… Although it is a microcosm of the real world, and you have very obese people and people wanting to lose 10 lbs and you have people with great health habits and people with the worst health habits… I don’t know…

And then the whole thing of “those last stubborn 5 lbs”… I hate seeing people with kids in the house post about this. Such a legacy to grow up with, “If only I weighed X lbs less, then my life would be….”

I know that I grapple with the whole thing and I have a 14 year old son. I can’t imagine having a daughter.

He is growing taller sooooo fast. We are all blown away at how tall he is getting. I checked his BMI on the kids BMI calculator and it is PERFECT. Right in the middle, but he looks (almost too) thin to me. He is obviously healthy, but especially compared to other kids, he looks thin. And I’m aware of how my perceptions are being thrown off, living in a world where 70% of the people are over weight.

We (ds and I) were talking about height and weight recently, and I know that he is going to start putting muscle on soon, and I said to him, “In 2-3-4 years, 150 - 160 - 170 or 180 might be a healthy weight for you.” and he was shocked that he could ever weigh that much and be healthy. And it is also hard because he was OBESE as a 3rd grader and then gradually grew into a healthy weight. And in a funny way, he remembers it, but not very well. And he lives with adults who believe “gaining weight is bad”. And for us, it is… but I feel like I need to tell ds that for HIM, right NOW gaining is healthy.

And then at some point, you want to get out of gaining mode and eating a bowl of cereal anytime you feel like it might not be a good thing to do.

How the heck do you teach that to someone? Eat healthy now and eat when you are hungry… but don’t let cereal and milk be a “habit” that you are still doing when you are 28 years old and working at a desk.

And realistically, I'm not the only influence on my kid... and I'm not even 100% positive that I'm the worlds greatest role model when it comes to food, etc. but EVERY SINGLE person I know has body issues or food issues... it seems depressingly in-escapable. I think I have better body issues than most… but Lord knows I got my issues.

Oh well, sort of rambling thoughts. The whole thing of raising kids with a healthy relationship to food and weight and themselves all seems very overwhelming.

We always talk about food in terms of health, not weight. DS is very strong and thin. He acutally weighs a lot for his height if you go by the height and weight scale, but is BMI is where it should be and the doctor said "He wears his weight well, he could even stand to gain some." He's all muscle. He's VERY active.

Grandma has high cholesterol and diabetes. Grandpa has had to have a stint. So DS is very conscious of these health issues.

He also saw my uncle die from emphasyma and had to pull an oxygen tank around, so he's aware of the perils of smoking too.

Dawn

Whoa, hold the bus...to whatever destination you are taking trips to...

Who said raising kids was easy? It's not, it is the hardest job that I think as a parent we will ever have. That's why parenting, as they say, is not for wimps.

I think we have to slow down, take a deep breath, and think. Yes, our children are in a generation where obesity is a definite problem. I firmly believe that teaching them by example is a strong influence when they are at home...and maybe my idea of food police is different that others. But once they hit their teens and pre-teens we are no longer the main influence in their lives, their friends are.
Once we take them to school, (I won't even go to preschool) but kindergarten, they are bombarded with new ideas, new influences, new role models.
I think the main idea is to push the healthy foods, the exercise, the making fun out of playing outside...not so much organized stuff.
Teach them to try new and different foods...not cakes, cookies, candy, pop, etc. I die everytime I see a baby with koolaide or pop in a bottle. Those poor baby teeth and the amounts of sugar that baby is ingesting...I could cry actually. Make it a habit early to require your children to eat dinner with the family, provide them with healthy dinners, even if it's grabbing and going foods...they can still be healthy. As they grow older and become involved in outside activities, the meals are more grab and go...but make sure that what they are grabbing is healthy or as close as you can get it.

My boys were both born small, they come from BIG family stock. My husband is a big man, and well, we won't go into where I came from. But my oldest left for college at well over 230 lbs and has slimmed down to 180 and is headed towards 160. My youngest is 225 and is headed down to about 180 for now. They both have had horrible habits and now see that healthy for them means they have to eat that way, and exercise. But it took, them realizing it, and my pressing the issue with having NO extras at home....if they wanted it they had to go out to get it and spend their own $$.

So, take heart, and teach them while they are home about healthy living....and keep teaching them without the police force. Show them by example.

quote:

Originally posted by GoingSkiing:
The whole thing of raising kids with a healthy relationship to food and weight and themselves all seems very overwhelming.

I'm right there with you! I try so hard to keep healthy foods in the house, model healthy eating and exercising as a fun, family activity, etc... I try hard to not be the food police and teach moderation. DD is VERY good at listening to her body when she's full and I encourage her to continue using that as a guide.

I also try hard to not make any negative comments about my own body image but it's hard sometimes.

I know I'd like to see more non-food kids things. I was raised by the food police, and rebelled. I'm actually getting down to a healthy weight even including junque fud. (Ice cream, dessert, chocolate)

I hate the images and perceptions. I know my own perceptions of what is obese and skinny are waaaaaay skewed.

I suspect though if you teach your kid to eat ehn they are hungry, and eat healthier things, you'll be ok. Also, maybe stop going by the number on the scale so much, start going by how his clothes fit, how he looks.

OK Denise......I could easily ramble and ramble myself, especially since I just went to the Gap to get some shorts for the summer for my still not quite where they should be thighs and could not locate a single pair of shorts or pants that were not low rise. That made me mad.

Even on local field trips, anymore, they take the kids to the mall food court for lunch. Crazy huh??? Cafeteria food in school is also not something to be desired.

Here is my solution to what your kids will do down the road, because so far it has worked with my soon to be 18 yr old daughter.

Exercise, regular activity. Reading food lables.

Even if they eat cereal and milk now, if they are naturally active and read lables instinctively, they will be inclined to be healthier people.

I have lived my life trying to not make food an issue for my kids. No diet talk, no stress over body image, no mentioning that she might try a few sit ups.

My husband and I have always been gym goers and I have always loved walking and riding my bike. My husband has always played sports.

Going to the gym seems just a natural thing to do to my kids, as does bike riding.

I think that if they make activity and label reading a natural part of their lives they will be inclined to be healthier.

My daughter reads every label. She is always aware of what she is eating. She also goes to the ymca 4 days a week.

As the mother of an almost 13yr old girl I feel very fortunate that she seems to have a better idea of what is healthy/not healthy than I did at that age. I am going to take some credit for that...with the changes in my eating habits she has been very interested in the why/how of it all and sometimes we have a contest to see who can eat the most fruits/veg in a day(which has also helped me). It is so sad to know that girls this age are so fearful of food and what it could do to them. In part, once again, I blame the media for the portrayal of the "perfect" girl/woman on magazine covers, on tv, movies, etc. Girls are much more competative-and sometimes downright mean-than when I was a kid. I think the movie Mean Girls is a lot more real than any of us realize.

My dd likes to cook and I think she sees what is going into what she is eating and that helps.

She still loves a blizzard from DQ, or McDonalds(and no, she does not get a salad!), etc. but I am hoping she is gaining a good understanding of moderation(something I never learned until just recently).

Denise, I think, from what I have read here, that you have done a great job with your son. Your whole family has gotten healthier and it sounds like he has learned great eating/exercise habits. If only more parents were able to teach those things.

I think that we can only do so much-we pray that our kids grow up and take with them all we had to offer. But, I think the reality is that once they are out there fending for themselves they will develop a whole new set of habits and will have to grow into their new adult selves. I know that's what I did. I left for college and suddenly I had to take care of myself and unfortunately thought I knew it all-boy was I wrong!

But here I am today, at 35, still learning...
Jill

quote:

Originally posted by GoingSkiing:
[...] The whole thing of raising kids with a healthy relationship to food and weight and themselves all seems very overwhelming.

The whole thing of raising kids period all seems overwhelming at times. Even without the issue of food. I am so glad I don't have one in school any more and doubly glad dd decided not to be a teacher.