Its that last-minute time of year. Many of us, including yours truly, are losing our minds.

How do you pare down? keep brain drain under control, and not obsess over things you can no longer deal with?

Catherine

Just checking in.... How you doing Catherine?

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Many of us, including yours truly, are losing our minds.

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Hate that when I misplace my grey matter...

Have been thinking of you and Cathy and ske and all others experiencing lots of stress and hoping that you are all doing ok.

Denise

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Originally posted by Cajetaguy:
That said, I haven't checked their gift card policies, but if the recipient has an Amazon.com account, one of their gift cards would be a good gift. In addition to books, they have music CDs, digital cameras, etc.

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I have gotten my guy friends amazon gift certs a number of times and they complain about not being able to find enough stuff that they want. I know, because I've been on amazon for years, that it's just a matter of their laziness in not wanting to sit in one place long enough to look...cuz amazon has about a BILLION things I would buy with a gift cert so it's not like there aren't options! LOL

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Originally posted by SheriaVa:
Peg/Linda/anyone:

When you shop for gifts throughout the year, do you ever worry that, by the time Christmas rolls around, the person will already have what you bought for them?

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I have to admit that I don't do much actual gift shopping early in the year unless I run across something particularly appropriate for the recipient. The kinds of prep I tend to do (or intend to do ) are things like Christmas cards (I make mine but buying them, even addressing the envies or signing them although I kind of like to do the last part closer so I can make the note more appropriate), planning on how I'm going to package my snack mix and preparing/purchasing that stuff, making a gift list and starting to jot down ideas, things like that. It's not like I spend 8 hours in July but I might spend an hour or so each month until October and then I get into the actual buying/shopping stuff. In years where I have my act together, I take a day off in November and do almost all my gift shopping that day. It didn't really wind up going that well this year though. Hadn't spent enough time thinking/planning what I wanted so I couldn't be efficient that day.

Hope that helps.

Peg

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...I'd get a gift card...

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A couple things to watch for, based on a recent local television news story:

Some gift cards have monthly fees. With every passing month, the card becomes worth less and less.

Some gift cards have expiration dates. After a certain date, the card is worth absolutely nothing.

That said, I haven't checked their gift card policies, but if the recipient has an Amazon.com account, one of their gift cards would be a good gift. In addition to books, they have music CDs, digital cameras, etc.

Sheri and Denise,

1.) We don't draw names, and I realize that's a whole different ball game.

2.) I'm one of 6 and dh is one of 8. I don't spend a lot - I try to keep it around $20. The only time I know of someone getting another was me - two years ago when I got Josh Groban from both dh and sil - I just took one back. In your case, Sheri, I'd get a gift card and let them choose - no problem with duplicates there.

Peg/Linda/anyone:

When you shop for gifts throughout the year, do you ever worry that, by the time Christmas rolls around, the person will already have what you bought for them? The primary people I buy for are men and their favorite things are CDs, movies, games and gadgets. If I bought them a CD or movie in June, I'd be afraid they'd have already bought it for themselves (or that someone else would have bought it for them for their birthday or such) by the time Christmas rolls around.

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Originally posted by johnbol:
I start my shopping right after Christmas so I'm usually done with that my Thanksgiving.

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We pull names in my family and dh family. I don't know who I'm buying for until Thanksgiving weekend...

Sheri,
Some folks use a particular day of the month (like 1st Sat. or the 25th) to spend some time thinking/crafting/shopping for Christmas. Would something like that work for you? Even if you started in July, it might help relieve some of that. I usually start thinking about Christmas in earnest about then.

Peg

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Originally posted by SheriaVa:

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Originally posted by johnbol:
I start my shopping right after Christmas so I'm usually done with that my Thanksgiving.

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I just never think of it when I'm shopping at other times of the year. Do you have pointers on that?

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Sheri, I have been doing this for so long, it's second nature to me. It started when my son was a toddler and into trains. Trains were easy to find right after Christmas.

The items that I purchase are usually reminiscent of the receivee - i.e. my sister the Detroit Tiger fan or my niece that collects penguins and flamingoes. It's hard NOT to think of them when I see something like those.

lmj

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Originally posted by johnbol:
I start my shopping right after Christmas so I'm usually done with that my Thanksgiving.

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Every Christmas, I say I'm going to be one of those people NEXT year who does their shopping all through the year so they don't have the stress of Christmas shopping when the rest of the planet is in crazed holiday mode. And every Christmas after that, I realize that I have once again waited until the crazy holiday season to do my shopping. I just never think of it when I'm shopping at other times of the year. Do you have pointers on that?

I start my shopping right after Christmas so I'm usually done with that my Thanksgiving.

I don't bake - I'm the only one who will eat it.

As far as decorating, I try, but it's more important to be WITH who I want to be with.

I remember that I'm human and do what I can. I TRY not to stress about not being Martha Stewart.

Linda

Wow has it been a tough season here. I have been traveling for work, with a job that could end at any given moment, leaving me unemployed for christmas. I haven't even had the energy to try and decorate. Two of my neighbors have also been diagnosed with Lyme disease, probably from the squirrels that have broken onto the attic. So I have been spraying flea/tick spray eveywhere. And of course the health department is going to be looking into it so we may be homeless for christmas .

Yesterday I sat down, wrote out each and every issue I have to deal with, and what I could start doing to deal with it. I have a lead on an apartment which will be vacant Feb 1, I have my name in for it, and the couple who own it don't like to advertise. I have done my best to keep everthing clean and am watching my kitty for ticks. I am supposed to talk to my boss today about what the next step is, if I need to find a new job, I need to know. And finally, I cut myself some slack with decorating. I stopped at Kmart last night, picked up a 3 foot prelit tree, 2 small packs of ornaments and a strand of beads, that will be fine this year, and next year it can be used outside as a decoration.


Sitting down and organizing what needed to be done has helped a lot. Now i just need to buy a few last minute gift certificates and I'll be done. Oh that is if The company sends my expense check that is now 4 weeks late


Laurie

Eating well and exercise are always good for stress.

A walk outside is especially good for stress.

The doughnut/coffee/chocolate diet will make you more stressed out!!

After growing up in Chicago, Christmas is always strange for me in FL. Since it's still warm (summer) I find it hard to get "into" the season. This week has been unusually cool (I won't say cold because it was lows in the 40's and 50's that I know others would love to have right now). THe cooler weather got me into the season and I thought, I should embrace my new state and the uniqueness of the holiday here - just like I should be embracing my new exercise and eating life rather than whining about the work that it is. SO....I decorated the palm tree in my front yard and instead of hot chocolate on Christmas morning (one of my favorite memories), I"m going to have mango smooties!! And all of the sudden, I"m less stressed!!

Mel

1. Online gift buying helps TREMENDOUSLY. The friends I buy gifts for are men and they used to complain that I was SO hard to buy for, so I started an amazon.com wish list years ago and keep it well stocked so that, not only do they know what to get me, but I still get to be surprised. Over the past 2 years, I have strongly encouraged THEM to make an amazon wish list and they finally have, and it has made a world of difference in my stress level. Turnabout is fair play, right?

2. Some years I get cards out to everyone (or nearly everyone) that I would want to send cards to. Other years, I don't get much beyond my immediate family and closest friends. This year, I'm in the latter category, except that, thankfully, I was able to get cards sent to the whole CT list early on. Some people have this intense obsession that if they don't send cards to everyone who sends them one they are going to get a one-way ticket to Hell in their stocking come Christmas morning. Over the past several years, I have been working at letting go of that and releasing myself from the guilt that accompanies it. I've already gotten at least two cards from people this week who will not be getting cards from me. I'll live, and so will they. It just isn't worth stressing myself out about.

How do you pare down?Between my son and I, we just finished up 5 holiday performances in 3 days at three different schools. We are getting homework done. We are eating (healthy) and showering is happening and that is about it... no decorating or craft projects or cleaning going on here...

We will get the tree up (eventually...) We will toss some lights on the bushes outside (eventually...) Some years that's all that happens... a tree and some lights in the bushes. That is ok.

I don't try and compete with Martha Stewart. I don't buy magazines with articles like "23 crafts under $23 to make in the 23 days before Christmas" or "Create a Magical Winter Wonderland Holiday for Your family". KD probably has a lot more insight into these magazine articles - but I've heard that 7 people will spend 700 hours creating the sets for the photo layouts in these magazines. I can't compete with that! I've accepted that I'm not crafty. It is ok. Nobody expects homemade cards from me. OK, since I've never sent cards... nobody expects cards of any kind! But, I'm up for seeing people in person or talking on the phone.

We usually make one batch of cookies. A lot of times they get made the week between Christmas and New Years - which is much less hectic for us.

How do you keep brain drain under control, and not obsess over things you can no longer deal with?Practice not obsessing all year long... There is stuff I can't control or deal with ALL year long. Practice makes better, not perfect. 10 months of marriage counseling has helped a lot, too. Marriage/kids is the ultimate exercise in giving up control (or going crazy if you try to control and/or deal with everything and everyone - I know the hard way...)

Well, this feels pretty selfish but I decided to make sure the gatherings for the people I really cared that I saw this season were scheduled and there's a few that I haven't said anything and, lo and behold, neither have they. I know that's sort of scroogy since I'm usually the organizer but I figured if they wanted to see me, they can ask. Some I mentioned something once and they didn't pick up the ball so I'm not going to either.

I'm really struggling this year so I figure the more time I can buy myself the better. Definitely out of character for me but I'm just trying to let it be (hard for the perfectionist in me). I am thinking about hosting a little craft day at my house on New Year's Eve since most everyone I know has the day off with the way the holiday fell on Sat. I may still forget about it but I also figure it'll be a nice way to spend a day I'm not all that crazy about. I was thinking today that I'd really like to get back to my scrapbooks on a much more regular basis in the New Year.

Peg

Remembering the reason for the season, rather like the reason we are at a party or an event...is it the hustle and bustle and the driving ourselves nuts, or something deeper than that? I make lists for each day, making sure that I don't include more than 8 things to done in one day. Phone calls/writing notes to people make up one, doing something for me takes up another one. That leaves me six things to do that might or might not include holiday related items. When those 8 things are done, that's it....no more. I am very good at obsessing, but, when I think clearly and have a plan...things move much better --- thus the list. What gets done does, and what doesn't will wait until tomorrow.

I try to get all the holiday "to do" items done in November. The crowds just stress me out and I don't find shopping enjoyable. I try to order what I can on line, get my cards done early, and the sit back and try to enjoy the excitement and joy I see in my daughter's eyes. Everything is just so exciting for her that she has brought new life into what used to be a very difficult time of year for me.

We try to focus on donations and the spirit of giving rather than "getting", we started only exchanging gifts for the kids in the family, and we try to enjoy our special visits with our friends and family.

Establishing new traditions for our immediate family was also very important to me. Doing what makes the most sense for us and our daughter has helped lower my stress level significantly instead of trying to accomodate what the extended family wants.