I think this is the point in a month-long challenge when it starts to get really hard. The I-just-don't-want-to-do-this-anymore thinking kicks in, at least for me, and I start to get a what's-the-point attitude. How do you get past this kind of ennui and realize that making a change is really worth the effort?

I dropped out of the challenge before it even started, but right now I'm suddenly taking an interest again. I haven't been able to cut the sweets entirely (dark choc) but I have stayed off the baked goods for two or three days now. I'm also surfing the net for info on the connection between food and mood (maybe this is a no-brainer, but some things just need to be revisited).

In other news, I'm finally trying to deal with my chronic anemia (sigh); the dr tells me my reserves are down to zero. Maybe this will help me feel better in other areas.

In response to Susan's question, I found that even though I desperately wanted to eat two or three more donuts, I knew I'd already cleared almost all of my daily calories by 9:30am. I just decided I wasn't going to make the damage any worse than I had already. Sheer determination is what I needed today.

I do know that the habit changes are definitely worth it long term, since if I get lax, the scale will go flying back up and it took me about 8 weeks to get half of what I gained from my thyroid meds back off. That is enough incentive for me.

Rather than type 4 specific responses to 4 different days.

Saturday: I stuck to my normal pre-run breakfast, ate a normal lunch, and for dinner had 2 pieces of pizza, 2 pieces of chicken and salad. Stayed on plan. 13.5 mile run plus some walking

Sunday: I ate my planned breakfast, my allotted lunch, had a single scoop of ice cream that was definitely worth the calories, and had soup and 1/2 a sandwich for dinner. On plan. 4 hours hiking all over Cedar Point.

Monday: Normal breakfast, got really hungry and overdid lunch a bit, no real dinner, but did snack on a few pretzels and a small piece of cake (left the icing behind). Oy vey the food when my family gets together. Damage could have been much worse than it was. Exercise was non-existent as today ended up being yesterday's normally planned rest day.

Tuesday: I'll just admit it. I ate 4 donuts. They tasted amazing, but I was really, really hungry when I got up. They ended up being breakfast and lunch. Dinner was a ton of salad, steamed veggies, green beans, and a piece of fish. I have hit way past exhausted and wonder if all that sugar made the exhaustion even worse. I was down a pound yesterday, back up that pound today. We'll see if dinner ended up salvaging my donut overkill tomorrow. Ditched today's run because of my IT bands being so sore.

For tomorrow: I've packed all my food for the day like I normally do, and don't plan to eat anything that isn't on plan. Yoga day as usual.

I give myself a B today. I did some extra eating after dinner and I stood for some of it. But, I did stop myself and did not let it run amuck. I keep learning, I guess- in spite of the fact that I'd like to be perfect

I am getting into my groove as we go through the month. Yesterday was a fairly good day. Today, here is my plan:
B: 2 slices ww toast, 2 T jam, watermelon
L: bagel w/ turkey, arugula and mustard, a few chips, DC
D: veggie sandwich.

My calories are a bit higher than normal today because of a lunch out, but it was just delightful and the caloiries won't break the bank.

I continue to read Roth's book. I am taking from it an increased willingness to sit with myself- not to eat- when I am am a bit bored or unknowing or agitated. Funny how often I grabbed a few bites of this or that to mollify the uncomfortable feelings. Trying to make a shift...

I am also reading through the Beck book- have only made it to Day 7 as I spent a lot of time on a few days. I think Beck's got so much I can use day in and day out.

I'm still sick. I'm living on toast, soup and tea.