Big hugs to you Dawn!
That just totally sucks and I would be in tears too : (

Is there any way you can keep your sitter and go do something nice for yourself?

Dawn,
Wish you were closer...we could hang out tonight.

Sorry about this.

I cannot even begin to say how frustrated, angry, hurt, etc. that I am.

This is the second Friday night in a row, that I have had something planned to do, and at the last minute it gets cancelled.

Last week, the gym where DS does gymnatics had a "Parent's survival night", I paid a week in advance. By Wed. DH could tell he would be working so I made plans with a friend to go out. We emailed several times that day, and spoke at 5:45 to finalize plans. I dropped DS off at 6:30 and when I picked up my cell to call her, I saw she had just called me. Well, she was calling to cancel. "She had to run errands for her mom." ???? Anyway, what're ya' gonna do? So, I went out for dinner alone.

Well, tonight DH and I had plans to go to a friend's birthday party. Again, sitter all lined up. We have emailed and spoken several times today. As I was in the middle of re-doing my make-up, the phone rings, and it is DH. Still at work where yet another "crisis" was happening, and he couldn't leave.

I can't take his *EXPLETIVE* job anymore. We can't plan anything without it getting cancelled.

I'm sure that part of my problem is TOM but I'm in tears over this. It just keeps happening again and again and I'm the one that gets disappointed. I know I could round-up DS and go do something, but I really wanted to go out with this group of friends. (strangely, they are all co-workers of DH.) We haven't been able to do anything together for a long time, and I miss seeing them.

Anyway...I guess there's nothing else to say.

Dawn

quote:

Originally posted by jillybean:
I didn't mean to offend you. As a mother I would be hurt. I was not trying to be insensitive, I was only making a suggestion to try to ease your discomfort. I am truly sorry.

Absolutely no need to apologize, Jill! I wasn't offended at all. I'm sorry that the tone of my reply inferred that I was. I was only using the "you are a mother" analogy to show you why I don't think that just sending a note would work for me.

quote:

Originally posted by jillybean:
Sheri,
I want to apologize to you. I didn't mean to offend you. As a mother I would be hurt. I wasn't trying to be insensitive, I was only making a suggestion to try to ease your discomfort. I am truly sorry.
Jill

Laurie,
Sending thoughts and prayers your way. The headstone sounds beautiful.

Sheri,
I can relate...
I suck it up too and make calls- not always easy. It seems the right thing to do, though.

quote:

Originally posted by jillybean:
Do you think you could send her a card with a note for special occasions or do you feel that you really have to make a personal phone call? I am sad for you that you feel this way.

You're a mother. Would you be happy with a card and note instead of a call on your birthday or Mother's Day once your kids are no longer living with/near you?

Sure, I COULD do a note instead of a phone call, but I know it would hurt her. So I suck it up and call her because I know it makes her feel good. Making her feel good makes me feel good, even though I may not be excited about making the call. I think the decision that I've come to, albeit not consciously (until just recently) is a happy medium. I call her less routinely which makes ME happier and less stressed, but then I make sure to call her for holidays and special occasions to make HER happier.

I quite agree with you that it's sad that I feel this way about calling my own mother, but she doesn't make it easy. She made her displeasure known by not sending me an Easter card this year for probably the first time in 2 decades. I didn't even mention it on the phone. Sure, I noticed that I didn't get a card because she is known to be one to send cards to everyone on every occasion, but it didn't break my heart or anything.

Sheri,
My mother and I have a very good relationship but even with that I know there are many times when she drives me crazy. I can't imagine what it would be like to be in your situation, I'm sure it must be very difficult for you. Do you think you could send her a card with a note for special occasions or do you feel that you really have to make a personal phone call? I am sad for you that you feel this way.
Jill

Today is my mother's birthday. I knew I had to call her. I hadn't called her for a good while and, just recently, I have been thinking a lot about why that is. I realized that I really didn't have much desire to talk to her. Things have gotten tense since last summer's brouhaha at the family thing in Florida and she is constantly playing casino games on the computer when I call and so those loud slot machine noises are going the whole time I am trying to have a conversation. It's obnoxious. And I think she does it on purpose.

Anyhow, all week I have been DREADING this call. I am home sick from work today and I thought "Let me just get it over with instead of procrastinating until this evening and then not being able to get through because my brothers are making their calls to her after work...and then I'd REALLY be in trouble for not calling her on her bday."

So I just called...and it went pretty well. She was watching TV vs. playing puter games but the TV wasn't obtrusive. She talked over me a lot, which always bugs me, but I kept it together and I understand that she doesn't get much social time and so she ends up talking over people in her eagerness to get it said (I am always horrified when I find myself doing this--I've picked up her bad habit). She sent me an old newspaper photo of my dad yesterday and I thanked her for that and we talked about how she came to find that picture. I asked about her upcoming travel plans, as she loves to travel (just like me), so she told me all about a 20-day bus trip she's taking across the country this summer. We spoke about both of our trips to Hawaii.

It wasn't a GREAT conversation but it was a better one than I have had for most of the past year. I just have this gut feeling that it was a better experience because I caught her off guard when she wasn't expecting my call and she was more able to just go with the flow. I am just happy it's done. But of course Mother's Day is in 2 weeks so I'll need to do it again.

Just wanted to post a verbal representation of my sigh of relief.

I'm just posting that I have made it through a very emotional day, without leaning at all towards food for comfort. Today my mother and I went to decide on a headstone for my father. It wasn't easy. We were lucky because the owner of the place we went was a close family friend. Her father and my father were neighbors as children. Heck her brother was even my landlord once. We found a beautiful design, an Irish claddah surrounded by shamrocks. Its simple, not over done. She is going to carve planters into the base itself. Anyways, all the way home I wanted fried fish, not good since the drive in down the street is open (and its oh the best fish fry EVER). Dh was cooking... Gorton's fish and french fries. This from the guy who microwaved his corn dog for 10 minutes!!! He did fine though, and he was so sweet to cook. Ok not the healthiest option, but a heck of a lot better than Pedrin's. At least these fries were done in the oven, and I only had a few.

Laurie

quote:

Originally posted by tina:
So today I went in to see one of my docs for a knee problem (basically old age! and malalignment of my knee caps) and my weight is down 3 pounds ! My blood pressure was really good 102/64 ( I think anyway) I have low pressure to begin with, so I can't wait to see what it will once I really get healthy. I have my first real physical (whole 9 yards getting done) in exactly 1 month. I am really going to try to get all the numbers down, and this will be a great time to "compare".

Yay, Tina! Way to go. That's great news. Keep up the good work!

So today I went in to see one of my docs for a knee problem (basically old age! and malalignment of my knee caps) and my weight is down 3 pounds ! My blood pressure was really good 102/64 ( I think anyway) I have low pressure to begin with, so I can't wait to see what it will once I really get healthy. I have my first real physical (whole 9 yards getting done) in exactly 1 month. I am really going to try to get all the numbers down, and this will be a great time to "compare".

I busted my hump on Saturday did lots of yard work and most certainly felt that later on in the night.

I hope that everyone is doing good and is healthy.

Tying in on two posts (and Sheri, you are so creative with these journals):

Upon reading Brie's post I had tears in my eyes and a recollection as to where I was 7 years ago. I was working for the prinicpal from hell. In fact, it was just about exactly 7 years ago, I got 2 weeks "mental health" leave because I had become suicidal trying to jump through all the hoops the principal held up - so I can relate to Dawn's husbands concerns.

All I can offer is prayers and support.

I'm concerned about an impending crash at my house. DH has been working a temporary maintenance job since January. A $1 / hr raise, slightly later hours, but work and a boss he really enjoys. Now, the man who was on sick leave since before Thanksgiving is supposed to come back in 2 weeks.

Even ds noticed that between a combination of this and helping to refurbish a B-17, Bill has been Happy. Yes, that capital is on purpose. Bill is not known to be an optomist. That's usually my job.

He doesn't think the man is physically going to be able to do the job, but that won't stop the man from trying.

quote:

Originally posted by susanrows:
Oh, Dawn, I feel for you. I went through a period like that in my old job, with a particularly demanding project for a particularly demanding client. My stress level was so high I was doing things like putting ice cream away in the cabinet instead of the freezer, or wearing two different shoes to work. I even pulled my first (and only) all-nighter since college. But I knew the project would eventually end, and it doesn't sound like that's the case with your DH. It also doesn't seem like there's much humor in your situation either.

You didn't really say whether you've talked to him about this or pointed out to him the toll this is taking on your whole family. I know it's hard to strike a balance between being supportive and protecting your own mental well-being, but your DH needs to know he's not the only one "working" this hard.

BTW, I eventually got laid off from that high-stress job. Being a workhorse didn't pay off for me at all.

We have talked, but I hesitate to say too much, because then he feels like he's getting it at work and and home. The poor guy needs some sort of safe haven right now.

As far as being laid off or fired, I can totally see that happening. All of this is the result of his company having been acquired, and at first they said no one would lose their jobs, but some major shake ups appear to be happening. We'll see what happens.

Dawn

Oh, Dawn, I feel for you. I went through a period like that in my old job, with a particularly demanding project for a particularly demanding client. My stress level was so high I was doing things like putting ice cream away in the cabinet instead of the freezer, or wearing two different shoes to work. I even pulled my first (and only) all-nighter since college. But I knew the project would eventually end, and it doesn't sound like that's the case with your DH. It also doesn't seem like there's much humor in your situation either.

You didn't really say whether you've talked to him about this or pointed out to him the toll this is taking on your whole family. I know it's hard to strike a balance between being supportive and protecting your own mental well-being, but your DH needs to know he's not the only one "working" this hard.

BTW, I eventually got laid off from that high-stress job. Being a workhorse didn't pay off for me at all.

Dawn,

I am here if and when you need anything. You know where I live.

Take Care!

You have my sympathies Dawn.
I can totally relate as I've been there many times with my own dh.

Right now, he's got a decent balance but still works about 70 hours/week, goes in on Saturdays, takes calls in the evening, etc...

It used to be much worse and it was very hard on me as he was horrible to be around at home.

He switched jobs eventually but it had to come from him.

Is there any light at the end of the tunnel with his hours or will he have to make a change?

I hope that you are able to get through this OK (and your ds too).

Good luck and big hugs.

You know, I have really had it with DH's job. There is nothing I can do about it, but it has gotten beyond absurd. He worked about 96 hours last week. He doesn't get overtime. He is salaried.

We're also now stuck in a "Catch-22" of we'd like to have him home, but when he is home he is so tired and grumpy that you don't even want to be around him. For those of you that watch "The West Wing" is is acting like Josh was last night.

I understand the stress and exhaustion that he is going through, but DS has no concept of that. I feel like all DH does when he's home is yells at DS and it breaks my heart. Yes, DS usually needs to be corrected or reprimanded for whatever it is that DH has brought up, but not to the extent and harshness that is coming out from DH right now.

I am really at my wits end right now. I think it is even more frustrating knowing that there is not a thing I can do about it. Until DH makes the decision that he can't take it anymore and gets serious about his job search, this is what we get.

UGH!

Dawn

Bee---- I am so sorry that you are having to go through that. I am sending you and hubby great big bear hugs.

You are welcome to cry here any day.....

Bee,
I just read your poem. It is lovely. I'm crying too. I can't imagine what you went through, and go through every year.

Thank you for sharing that with us, and know that you always have our support.

Dawn