The Weight-Loss Diaries by Courtney Rubin
Review by Jennifer Sader

I remember reading Courtney Rubin's "Weight Loss Diary" in Shape. It used to be one of my favorite features of the magazine. I was also losing weight at the time, and I remember comparing my stats to hers each month, sort of as a friendly competition. We had similar starting points, though she is taller than me, and we even looked a little alike. I really identified with her worries about fitting into the XLs at the Gap, as well as her ups and downs. I enjoyed that she told the truth about weight loss; that it wasn't always a straight and narrow path from "before" to "after." I was sad when she ended the diary, though I completely understood why she was ready to end such a public and personal account of her life and struggles.

When I saw that she had written a book about her experiences, I had my favorite bookstore, Thackeray's in Toledo, save me a copy. I got it on a Saturday afternoon and stayed up until 2:30 a.m. reading it that night. There were so many things I identified with in her struggle, but there were also a lot of unique challenges that she faced.

The same voice I enjoyed so much from the columns is there, as well as a lot of new information that couldn't possibly fit comfortably into a 500-word column.

Courtney had a lot of help in her quest to lose weight, including some "famous names": Dr. Pamela Peeke, Chef Kathleen, Nancy Clark, a body image consultant and lots of other experts. Rubin explains that she was not given a personal trainer because readers might have thought that she had it too easy.

Reading her story, it is clear that this process was far from easy for her. She struggled with so many issues that went way beyond her weight that complicated her efforts to change. She details her family's ambivalent and sometimes hostile reactions to her weight-loss attempts. She reveals her struggles with a binge eating disorder, discusses the pressure of being in the spotlight; excessive personal contact from fans of the magazine and she talks about how she copes with the garden-variety sabotage from friends. Having her food diaries analyzed and her kitchen reorganized probably helped her, but it seems clear that what she needed the most help with were the emotional issues behind the weight struggle.

The writing style is vivid and engaging and at times, painfully honest. I understand why her fans ended up thinking of her as a friend and trying to reach out to her, as she has a style of writing that makes you feel like you have been admitted to her inner circle of confidants. Still, the book never devolves into self-pity or a mere confessional. I think that readers of kathleendaelemans.com will really enjoy this book. Kathleen herself makes a sort of cameo appearance, helping Courtney re-engineer her kitchen to try to help her in her weight loss struggle, but unfortunately it doesn't seem that Courtney shared Cooking Thins fan's enthusiasm for cooking. Though she is still struggling, her strength and resilience are well-documented in the book, so readers are left with the impression that she will ultimately come out OK.

Jennifer Sader is a freelance writer, part-time doctoral student and recreational athlete. She has completed several sprint and international distance triathlons and three half-marathons. Her next goal is to do the Columbus Marathon. She is supported in all her endeavors by her wonderful husband of ten years, Jesse Squire, who inspired her to do her first competitive event, a 5K run, at the ripe old age of 20. Email Jennifer Sader: jensader@yahoo.com

Photo: András