The (An)Twerp in Me
I'm proud to be an American mutt. Growing up my parents spent extra time teaching us about our Belgian, German and Italian heritages. A trip to Belgium and I learned Europeans charge for ketchup. Belgians invented French Fries and they charge for ketchup. It's a racket. Even McDonald's charges. One measly packet is a buck. Before 911 you were allowed to travel with nail scissors so of course I did. I used mine for everything from trimming my nails to cutting open one-dollar ketchup packets.

To economize cut one-dollar-ketchup-packets lengthwise and open as though you were butterfly-ing a chicken breast or cracking open a good book. Drag one medium French fry cross wise over left side of the ketchup package from top to bottom applying even pressure the length of the package. Repeat with remaining side and don't order French fries again until you get stateside if you only like them dipped in lots of ketchup.

Belgium isn't only about ketchup shock. I learned my name is as common over there as Smith is over here. On my way up to what would be the first of four hotel rooms I checked in and immediately checked out of the first night in my ancestral city, I learned Daelemans is the Otis of Belgian elevators. True story. My family name is on every elevator in every building in all of Belgium. Probably not true. But it's on lots of the elevators in lots of buildings all over the place.

Most people know Belgium is famous for their handmade chocolates (hello Godiva) but they're not famous for nice hotel rooms in my then budget-price-range which was whatever I could afford on my nine-dollar-an-hour-line-cook-at-Zuni-Café budget plus what I earned at the garage sale I had the week before the trip so I could make money for the trip. The room I ended up with wasn't fit for zoo animals.

It had a sunken bedroom only it wasn't supposed to be sunken. There was a sunken bed in the middle of the sunken bedroom. Naturally. It's a gravity thing. Situated where the television would have been had I been traveling in that class, was a toilet and matching bidet. If you were tall you could open and close the dresser drawers with your feet from the bed. Those Belgians. French fries. Chocolates. Ketchup tax and dressers with built in toilets. What will they think of next?

German Potato Salad
We never got to Germany. But my Mom taught me how to make every version of German style potato salad that ever sounded good to her. I learned about Germany in school. We studied Albert Einstein and somehow I graduated even though I haven't the faintest idea what E=mc2 means and technically exactly what it has to do with me and it how it relates to my life or love of sauerkraut.

"When the Moon Hits The Sky Like A Big Pizza Pie That's Amore..."
Is there anything better than Cher in Moonstruck? And Nick. And that slap? I think not. I pride myself on the Italian blood I have coursing through my veins. My grandmother is from Naples Italy and depending upon whom I'm speaking with or where I'm eating or what I'm trying to accomplish at any given time I play this up or down. When I'm speaking with an Italian Chef there's an instant bond. An Italian Mom and I'm immediately part of the family.

On the other hand when I'm doing a story on maple syrup and I'm speaking with cousin Donald owns and operates one of the oldest Maple Tree farms in Lester Prairie, Minnesota (his ancestral home therefore my grandmother's ancestral home) and whose last name, Splettstazer, is defiantly not Italian, I play down the Mozzarella in me. You don't have to read Emily Post's Etiquette to know when not to talk about your love of meatballs. Homemade Spatzle and it's cue the childhood memories of homemade apple strudel.

The Gelato Diet
I learned gelato is made with milk therefore it can't possibly be bad for you so it's okay to try two flavors at once. To prove it there's a photo of Heidi Klum enjoying a double cone with one or two of her lovely children on the window of my favorite gelato shop in NYC. And she looks gorgeous. Did I mention she's like eight months pregnant or something? And she looks gorgeous! Out of respect for Ms. Klum's privacy I cannot reveal the name of said shop.
 
Actually, I was going to provide the name and address of the shop but I can't remember it to save my life. I can't even remember if it was in the Village or TriBeCa. A 0.6 second Google search yielded 307,000 results for best New York City Gelato shops below Union Square. I'm sure it was below Union Square. 32 minutes of sifting through the results and the only thing noteworthy I came up with was a blurb on some guy who thinks sherry port poured over cheddar gelato is a good idea. I'll stick with cheddar on my cheeseburgers and sherry in my vinaigrettes thank you very much.

Everybody knows the Italians make great shoes and handbags and are famous for their delicious foods, amazing villas, soccer teams and sports cars but guess what else the Italians discovered? Cantaloupe! That's right. Sweet, juicy cantaloupe. Cousin of squashes, pumpkin, cucumbers and gourds. But don't think of it like that or it might color your opinion of it as a decadent dessert.

Made in Italy 
Cantaloupes were discovered in 1700 A.D. and derived their name from the Italian papal village of Cantalup. Cantaloupes are the only fruity vegetable I know that can be called holier than thou. I'm not going to provide you with a whole bunch of contrived Nuevelle Fusion recipes for cantaloupe soups and foams. Mother Nature's recipe doesn't tweaking or perfecting.

Choose cantaloupes that have a hint of delicious fragrance about them and are void of overly soft spots. If you're not sure if the spot is too soft, consider whether the softness of the spot is a texture you'd want to eat. Does it have a mouthful that is palatable or is it too soft?

Where the cantaloupe rests on the ground you'll see a bleachy whitish yellow spot. Never mind this. If you didn't get any sun or spray on tan you're whole entire life you'd look a milky whitish mess too. The melon shouldn't have any mushy spots. Press on the melon's belly button (the end opposite the stem end). It will be firm but it should give a little. If it's too firm, put it back on the pile and pick up another one.

Buy Cantaloupe from a market that moves their fruit or better from a roadside stand or a farmers market with stalls manned by real farmers. Greet them with giant smiles and curiosity. Farmers love to talk about what they do. They're generally very proud of their harvests and very willing to educate consumers about their offerings.

That said, they have very short selling seasons so be very mindful of taking up their time when the market is busy especially if there's no one helping them out at the booth. Go early or late if you want to spend some extra time with them. It never hurts to bring along a plate of homemade cookies. Sure that's a little Mom and Pop, girl next door, Grandma old fashioned but remember when the world was like that? It's still like that in lots of places. And where better than in your hometown.

The best ways I know how to enjoy cantaloupe:

1. Cut into cubes, chill, serve in fancy old-fashioned ice cream dishes
2. Place a generous scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream in a lovely dish. Top with room temperature bite size pieces of cantaloupe. As many as you wish. Top with raspberries you picked yourself.
3. Tossed with cilantro, lime and sea salt and served with just about any fish you like or grilled diver scallops if you're so lucky.

kd@chefkathleen.com